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THE  LIBRARY  OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY  OF 

NORTH  CAROLINA 

AT  CHAPEL  HILL 


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DIALECTIC  AND  PHILANTHROPIC 

SOCIETIES 
LIBRARY 
SCHOOL 


J   H 
Carroll 


THE  LIBRARY  OF  THE 

UNIVERSITY  OF 

NORTH  CAROLINA 

AT  CHAPEL  HILL 


PRESENTED  BY 

Mary  Laurens 
Withers  Richardson 


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Form  No.  471 


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ALICE'S 

ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND. 


ALICE'S 

ADVENTURES  IN  WONDERLAND, 

BY 

LEWIS  CARROLL. 


WITH  FORTY-TWO  ILLUSTRATION^ 
BY 

JOHN  TENNIEL. 


NEW  YORK : 

WORTHINGTON  CO., 

747  BROADWAY, 
1890. 


h\l**J* 


All  in  the  golden  afternoon 

Full  leisurely  we  glide ; 
For  both  our  oars,  with  little  skill, 

By  little  arms  are  plied, 
While  little  hands  make  vain  pretence 

Our  wanderings  to  guide. 


Ah,  cruel  Three  !     In  such  an  hour, 
Beneath  such  dreamy  weather, 

To  beg  a  tale,  of  breath  too  weak 
To  stir  the  tiniest  feather ! 

Yet  what  can  one  poor  voice  avail 
Against  three  tongues  together? 


Imperious  Prima  flashes  fortft 
Her  edict  to  "  begin  it  " — 

In  gentler  tone  Secunda  hopes 
"  There  will  be  nonsense  in  it"- 

While  Tertia  interrupts  the  tale 
Not  more  than  once  a  minute. 


Anon,  to  sudden  silence  won, 

In  fancy  they  pursue 
The  dream-child  moving  through  a  land 

Of  wonders  wild  and  new, 
In  friendly  chat  with  bird  or  beast— 

And  half  believe  it  true. 


And  ever,  as  the  story  drained 

The  wells  of  fancy  dry, 
And  faintly  strove  that  weary  one 

To  put  the  subject  by, 
"  The  rest  next  time — "     "  It  is  next  time  ! " 

The  happy  voices  cry. 


Thus  grew  the  tale  of  Wonderland : 

Thus  slowly,  one  by  one, 
Its  quaint  events  were  hammered  out 

And  now  the  tale  is  done, 
And  home  we  steer,  a  merry  crew. 

Beneath  the  setting  sun. 


Alice  !   a  childish  story  take, 

And  with    .  gentle  hand 
Lay  it  where  Childhood's  dreams  are  twined 

In  Memory's  mystic  band, 
Like  pilgrim's  withered  wreath  of  flowers 

Plucked  in  a  far-off  lane 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER.  PACK 

I.  Down  the  Rabbit-Hole i 

II.  The  Pool  of  Tears 1 5 

III.  A  Caucus-Race  and  a  Long  Tale 29 

IV.  The  Rabbit  sends  in  a  Little  Bill 41 

V.  Advice  from  a  Caterpillar 5^* 

VI.  Pig  and  Pepper 74 

VII.  A  Mad  Tea-Party 93 

VIII.  The  Queen's  Croquet-Ground no 

IX.  The  Mock  Turtle's  Story 128 

X.  The  Lobster  Quadrille 145 

XL  Who  Stole  the  Tarts  ? 160 

XII.  Alice's  Evidence .    .  174 


CHAPTER  I. 

DOWN    THE    RABBIT-HOLE. 


ALICE  was  beginning  to  get  very  tired  of  sitting 
by  her  sister  on  the  bank,  and  of  having  nothing 
to  do :  once  or  twice  she  had  peeped  into  the 
book  her  sister  was  reading,  but  it  had  no  pictures 


*■  DOWN    THE 

or  conversations  in  it,  "  and  what  is  the  use  ot  a 
book,"  thought  Alice,  "without  pictures  or  con- 
versations ?  " 

So  she  was  considering  in  her  own  mind,  (as 
well  as  she  could,  for  the  hot  day  made  her 
feel  very  sleepy  and  stupid,)  whether  the  pleasure 
of  making  a  daisy-chain  would  be  worth  the 
trouble  of  getting  up  and  picking  the  daisies, 
when  suddenly  a  white  rabbit  with  pink  eyes  ran 
close  by  her. 

There  was  nothing  so  very  remarkable  in  that; 
nor  did  Alice  think  it  so  very  much  out  of  the  way 
to  hear  the  Rabbit  say  to  itself,  "  Oh  dear  !  Oh 
dear !  I  shall  be  too  late  !  "  (when  she  thought  it 
over  afterwards,  it  occurred  to  her  that  she  ought 
to  have  wondered  at  this,  but  at  the  time  it  alL 
seemed  quite  natural);  but  when  the  Rabbit 
actually  took  a  watch  out  of  lis  waistcoat  pocket, 
and  looked  at  it,  and  then  hurried  on,  Alice  started 
to  her  feet,  for  it  flashed  across  her  mind  that  she 
had  never  before  seen  a  rabbit  with  either  a  waist- 
coat-pocket or  a  watch  to  take  out  of  it,  and, 
burning  with   curiosity,  she  ran  across  the  field 


RABBIT-HOLE.  6 

after  it,  and  was  just  in  time  to  see  it  pop  down 
a  lan>e  rabbit-hole  under  the  hedsre. 

In  another  moment  down  went  Alice  after  it, 
never  once  considering:  how  in  the  world  she  was 
to  eret  out  as;ain. 

The  rabbit-hole  went  straight  on  like  a  tunnel 
for  some  way,  and  then  dipped  suddenly  down,  so 
suddenly  that  Alice  had  not  a  moment  to  think 
about  stopping  herself  before  she  found  herself 
falling  down  what  seemed  to  be  a  very  deep  well. 

Either  the  well  was  very  deep  or  she  fell  very 
slowly,  for  she  had  plenty  of  time  as  she  went 
down  to  look  about  her,  and  to  wonder  what  was 
going  to  happen  next.  First,  she  tried  to  look 
down  and  make  out  what  she  was  coining  to,  but 
it  was  too  dark  to  see  anything:  then  she  looked 
at  the  sides  of  the  well,  and  noticed  that  they 
were  filled  with  cupboards  and  bookshelves  :  here 
and  there  she  saw  maps  and  pictures  hung  upon 
pegs.  She  took  down  a  jar  from  one  of  the 
shelves  as  she  passed  ;.  it  was  labelled  "ORANGE 
MARMALADE,"  but  to  her  great  disappoint- 
ment it  was- empty  :   she  did   not  like  to  drop  the 


4  DOWN   THE 

jar  for  fear  of  killing  somebody  underneath,  so 
managed  to  put  it  into  one  of  the  cupboards  as 
she  fell  past  it. 

"  Well !  "  thought  Alice  to  herself,  "  after  such 
a  fall  as  this,  I  shall  think  nothing  of  tumbling 
down  stairs  !  How  brave  they'll  all  think  me  at 
home  !  Why,  I  wouldn't  say  anything  about  it, 
even  if  I  fell  off  the  top  of  the  house !  "  (Which 
was  very  likely  true.) 

Down,  down,  down.  Would  the  fall  never 
come  to  an  end  ?  "  I  wonder  how  many  miles 
I've  fallen  by  this  time?"  she  said  aloud.  "I 
must  be  2fettin£  somewhere  near  the  centre  of 
the  earth.  Let  me  see :  that  would  be  four 
thousand  miles  down,  I  think — "  (for  you  see, 
Alice  had  learnt  several  things  of  this  sort  in  her 
lessons  in  the  schoolroom,  and  though  this  was 
not  a  very  good  opportunity  for  showing  off  her 
knowledge,  as  there  was  no  one  to  listen  to  her, 
still  it  was  good  practice  to  say  it  over)  "  — yes, 
that's  about  the  right  distance — but  then  I  wonder 
what  Latitude  or  Longitude  I've  2;ot  to?" 
(Alice  had  not  the  slightest  idea  what  Latitude 


RABBIT-HOLE.  5 

was,  or  Longitude  either,  but  she  thought  they 
were  nice  grand  words  to  say.) 

Presently  she  began  again.  "  I  wonder  if  I 
shall  fall  right  through  the  earth  !  How  funny 
it'll  seem  to  come  out  among  the  people  that 
walk  with  their  heads  downwards!  The  Anti- 
pathies, I  think — "  (she  was  rather  glad  there  was 
no  one  listening  this  time,  as  it  didn't  sound  at  all 
the  right  word)  " — but  I  shall  have  to  ask  them 
what  the  name  of  the  country  is,  you  know.  Please, 
Ma'am,  is  this  New  Zealand  or  Australia  ?  "  (and 
she  tried  to  curtsy  as  she  spoke — fancy  curtsying 
as  you're  falling  through  the  air  !  Do  you  think 
you  could  manage  it  ?)  "  And  what  an  ignorant 
little  girl  she'll  think  me  for  asking !  No,  it'll 
never  do  to  ask :  perhaps  I  shall  see  it  written  up 
somewhere." 

Down,  down,  down.  There  was  nothing  eise 
to  do,  so  Alice  soon  bes-an  talking:  ao;ain. 
"  Dinah'll  miss  me  very  much  to-night,  I  should 
think  !  "  (Dinah  was  the  cat/)  "  I  hope  they'll 
remember  her  saucer  of  milk  at  tea-time.  Dinah 
my  dear  !     I  wish  you  were  down  here  with  me ! 


DOWN   TTTE 


There  are  no  mice  in  the  air,  I'm  afraid,  but  you 
might  catch  a  bat,  and  that's  very  like  a  mouse, 
you  know.  But  do  cats  eat  bats,  I  wonder  ?  " 
And  here  Alice  began  to  get  rather  sleepy  and 
went  on  saying  to  herself,  in  a  dreamy  sort  of 
way,  "  Do  cats  eat  bats  ?  Do  cats  eat  bats  ? " 
and  sometimes,  "  Do  bats  eat  cats  ? "  for,  you 
sec,  as  she  couldn't  answer  either  question,  it 
didn't  much  matter  which  way  she  put  it.  She 
felt  that  she  was  dozing  off,  and  had  just  begun 
to  dream  that  she  was  walking  hand  in  hand 
with  Dinah,  and  was  saying  to  her  very  earnestly, 
"  Now,  Dinah,  tell  me  the  truth :  did  you  ever 
cat  a  bat  ?  "  when  suddenly,  thump !  thump ! 
down  she  came  upon  a  heap  of  sticks  and  dry 
leaves,  and  the  fall  was  over. 

Alice  was  not  a  bit  hurt,  and  she  jumped  up 
on  to  her  feet  in  a  moment :  she  looked  up,  but 
it  wras  all  dark  overhead;  before  her  was  an- 
other long  passage,  and  the  White  Rabbit  was 
still  in  sight,  hurrying  down  it.  There  was 
not  a  moment   to  be   lost :  away  went  Alice  like 


ttABBIT-HOLE.  7 

the  wind,  and  was  just  in  time  to  hear  it  say,  as 
it  turned  a  corner,  "  Oh  my  ears  and  whiskers, 
how  late  it's  getting!"  She  was  close  behind 
it  when  she  turned  the  corner,  but  the  Rabbit 
was  no  lono-er  to  be  seen  :  she  found  herself  in 
a  long,  low  hall,  which  was  lit  up  by  a  now  of 
lamps  hanging  from  the  roof. 

There  were  doors  all  round  the  hall,  but  they 
were  all  locked,  and  when  Alice  had  been  all 
the  way  down  one  side  and  up  the  other,  trying 
every  door,  she  walked  sadly  down  the  middle, 
wondering  how  she  was  ever  to  cret  out  ao-ain. 

Suddenly  she  came  upon  a  little  three-legged 

table,  all  made  of  solid  glass  ;   there  was  nothing 

on  it  but    a    tiny  golden  key,  and  Alice's    first 

idea  was   thr.t   this   might   belong  to  one  of  the 

doors    of    the    hall ;    but    alas  !  either    the  locks 

were   too  large,  or  the    key  was  too    small,   but 

at  any  rate  it' would  not  open  any  of  them* 
However,  on    the   second   time  round,  she  came 


DOWN  THE 


upon  a  low  cur- 
tain she  had  not 
noticed  before, 
and  behind  it 
was  a  little  door 
about  fifteen 
inches  high ;  she 
tried  the  little 
golden  key  in 
the  lock,  and  to 
her  great  delight  it  fitted  ! 

Alice  opened  the  door  and  found  that  it  led 
into  a  small  passage  not  much  larger  than  a 
rat  hole :  she  knelt  down  and  looked  alono-  the 
passage  into  the  loveliest  garden  you  ever  saw. 
How  she  longed  to  get  out  of  that  dark  hall, 
and  wander  about  anion 2"  those  beds  of  bright 
flowers  and  those  cool  fountains,  but  she  could 
not  even  get  her  head  through  the  doorway ; 
"and  even  if  my  head  would  go  through,"  thought 
poor  Alice,  "  it  would   be   of  very  little    use  with- 


RAHBTT-HOLE. 


out  my  shoulders.  Oh,  how  I  wish  I  could 
shut  up  like  a  telescope  !  I  think  I  could, 
if  I  only  knew  how  to  begin."  For,  you 
see,  so  many  out-of-the-way  things  had  hap- 
pened lately  that  Alice  had  begun  to  think 
that  very  few  things  indeed  were  really  impos- 
sible. 

There  seemed  to  be  no  use  in  waiting  by  the 
little  door,  so  she  went  back  to  the  table,  half 
hoping  she  might  find  another  key  on  it,  or  at 
any  rate  a  book  of  rules  for  shutting  people  up 
like  telescopes  :  this  time  she  found  a  little 
bottle  on  it,  ("  which  certainly  was  not  here  be- 
fore," said  Alice,)  and  tied  round  the  neck  of 
the  bottle  was  a  paper  label  with  the  words 
li  DRINK  ME"  beautirully  printed  on  it  in 
large  letters. 

It  was  all  very  well  to  say  "  Drink  me,"  but 
the  wise  little  Alice  was  not  going  to  do  that  in 
a  hurry  :  "  no,  I'll  look  first,"  she  said,  "  and 
see  whether  it's  marked  'poison '  or  not : "  for 
she    had  read  several    nice  little  stories    about 


10 


DOWN    THE 


children  who  had  got  burnt,  and  eaten  up  by 
wild  beasts,  and  other  unpleasant  things,  all 
because  they  would  not  remember  the  simple 
rules     their    friends     had    taught    them,     such 

as,  that  a  red-hot 
poker  will  burn 
you  if  you  hold  it 
too  long  ;  and  that 
if  you  cut  your 
finger  very  deeply 
with  a  knife,  it 
usually  bleeds  ;  and 
she  had  never  for- 
gotten that,  if  you 
drink  much  from 
a  bottle  marked 
"  poison,"  it  is  al- 
most certain  to  dis- 
agree with  you  sooner  or  later. 

However,  this  bottle  was  not  marked  "  poi- 
son," so  Alice  ventured  to  taste  it,  and  finding 
it  very  nice,    (it  had,  in    fact,  a  sort    of    mixed 


RABBIT-HOLE.  11 

flavor  of  cherry-tart,  custard,  pine-apple,  roast 
turkey,  toffy,  and  hot  buttered  toast),  she  very 
soon  finished  it  off. 


"  What  a  curious  feeling  !  "  said  Alice,  "  I  must 
be  shutting  up  like  a  telescope." 

And  do  it  was  indeed :  she  was  now  only 
ten  inches  hum,  and  her  face  brightened  up 
at  the  thought  that  she  was  now  the  right  size 
for  going  through  the  little  door  into  that 
lovely  garden.  First,  however,  she  waited  for 
a  few  minutes  to  see  if  she  was  going  to  shrink 
any  further:  she  felt  a  little  nervous  about  this, 
"for  it  might  end,  you  know,"  said  Alice  to 
herself,  "  in  my  going  out  altogether,  like  a 
candle.  I  wonder  what  I  should  be  like  then  ?  " 
And    she    tried   to  fancy    what    the  flame   of  a 


12  DOWN  THE 

candle  looks  like  after  the  candle  is  blown 
out,  for  she  could  not  remember  ever  having 
seen  such  a  thin^. 

After  a  while,  finding  that  nothing  more 
happened,  she  decided  on  going  into  the  gar- 
den at  once,  but,  alas  for  poor  Alice !  when 
she  got  to  the  door,  she  found  she  had  for- 
gotten the  little  golden  key,  and  when  she  went 
back  to  the  table  for  it,  she  found  she  could  not 
possibly  reach  it:  she  could  see  it  quite  plainly 
through  the  glass,  and  she  tried  her  best  to 
climb  up  one  of  the  legs  of  the  table,  but  it  was 
too  slippery,  and  when  she  had  tired  herself  out 
with  trying,  the  poor  little  thing  sat  down  and 
cried. 

"  Come,  there's  no  use  in  crying  like  that !  " 
said  Alice  to  herself,  rather  sharply,  "  I  advise 
you  to  leave  off  this  minute  ! "  She  generally 
gave  herself  very  good  advice,  (though  she 
very  seldom  followed  it,)  and  sometimes  she 
scolded  herself  so  severely  as  to  bring  tears 
into  her  eyes,  and  once  she  remembered  trying 
to  box  her  own  ears  for  having  cheated   herself 


EABBIT-HOLE.  13 

in  a  game  of  croquet  she  was  playing  against 
herself,  for  this  curious  child  was  very  fond  of 
pretending  to  be  two  people.  "  But  it's  no  use 
now,"  thought  poor  Alice,  "  to  pretend  to  be  two 
people !  Why,  there's  hardly  enough  of  me  left 
to  make  one  respectable  person  !  " 

Soon  her  eye  fell  on  a  little  glass  box  that  was 
lying  under  the  table  :  she  opened  it,  and  found 
in  it  a  very  small  cake,  on  which  the  words  "  EAT 
ME"  were  beautifully  marked  in  currants.  "Well, 
I'll  eat  it,"  said  Alice,  "  and  if  it  makes  me  grow 
larger,  I  can  reach  the  key  ;  and  if  it  makes  me 
grow  smaller,  I  can  creep  under  the  door ;  so 
either  way  I'll  get  into  the  garden,  and  I  don't 
care  which  happens  !  " 

he  ate  -a  little  bit,  and  said  anxiously  to  her- 
self "  Which  way  ?  Which  way  ?  "  holding  her 
hand  on  the  top  of  her  head  to  feel  which  way 
it  was  growing,  and  she  was  quite  surprised  to 
find  that  she  remained  the  same  size  :  to  be  sure, 
this  is  what  generally  happens  when  one  eats 
cake,  but  Alice  had  got  so  much  into  the  way  of 
expecting  nothing  but   out-of-the-way  things  to 


14  DOWN   THE   RABBIT-HOLE. 

happen,  that  it  seemed  quite  dull  and  stupid  for 
life  to  go  on  in  the  common  way. 

So  she  set  to  work,  and  very  soon  finished  of 
the  cake. 


15 


CHAPTER  II. 


THE  POOL    OF    TEARS. 

•'  Curiouser  and  cu- 
riouser !  "  cried  Alice 
(she  was  so  much  sur- 
prised, that  for  the 
moment  she  quite  for- 
got how  to  speak  good 
English)  ;  "  now  I'm 
opening  out  like  the 
largest  telescope  that 
ever  was  !  Good-bye, 
feet !  "  (for  when  she 
looked  down  at  her 
feet,  they  seemed  to 
be  almost  out  of  sight, 
they  were  getting  so 
far  off)  "  Oh,  my  poor 
little   feet,    I  wonder 


16  THE   POOL    . 

who  will  put  on  your  shoes  and  stockings  for  you 
you  now,  dears?  I'm  sure  /shan't  be  able!  I 
shall  be  a  great  deal  too  far  off  to  trouble  my- 
self about  you :  you  must  manage  the  best  way 
you  can ; — but  I  must  be  kind  to  them,"  thought 
Alice,  "  or  perhaps  they  won't  walk  the  way  I 
want  to  go  !  Let  me  see  :  I'll  give  them  a  new 
pair  of  boots  every  Christmas." 

And  she  went  on  planning  to  herself  how  she 
would  manage  it.  "  They  must  go  by  the  car- 
rier," she  thought ;  "  and  how  funny  it'll  seem, 
sending  presents  to  one's  own  feet !  And  how 
odd  the  directions  will  look  ! 

Alice s  Right  Foot,  Esq., 
Hearthrug, 

near  the  Feiider, 

{with  Alice  s  love) 

Oh  dear,  what  nonsense  I'm  talking !  " 

Just  at  this  moment  her  head  struck  against  the 
roof  of  the  hall :  in  fact  she  was  now  rather  more 
than  nine  feet  high,  and  she  at  once  took  up  the 
little  golden  key  and  hurried  off  to  the  garden  door. 


OF   TEARS.  17 

Poor  Alice  !  It  was  as  much  as  she  could  do, 
lying  down  on  one  side,  to  look  through  into 
the  garden  with  one  eye ;  but  to  get  through  was 
more  hopeless  than  ever :  she  sat  down  and  be- 
gan to  cry  again. 

"  You  oucrht  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself,"  said 
Alice,  "  a  great  girl  like  you,"  (she  might  well  say 
this,)  "to  go  on  crying  in  this  way!  Stop  this 
moment,  I  tell  you  !  "  But  she  went  on  all  the 
same,  shedding  gallons  of  tears,  until  there  was  a 
large  pool  all  round  her,  about  four  inches  deep 
and  reaching  half  down  the  hall. 

After  a  time  she  heard  a  little  pattering  of  feet 
in  the  distance,  and  she  hastily  dried  her  eyes  to 
see  what  was  coming.  It  was  the  White  Rabbit 
returning,  splendidly  dressed,  with  a  pair  of  white 
kid  gloves  in  one  hand  and  a  laro-e  fan  in  the 
other:  he  came  trotting  along  in  a  great  hurry, 
muttering  to  himself  as  he  came,  "  Oh  !  the 
Duchess,  the  Duchess  !  Oh  !  won't  she  be  sav- 
age if  I've  kept  her  waiting !  "  Alice  felt  so  des- 
perate that  she  was  ready  to  ask  help  of  any  oen  ; 


18 


THE  POOL 


so,  when  the  Rabbit  came  near  her,  she  began, 

in   a  low,  timid  voice,  "  If  you  please,  sir " 

The  Rabbit  started  violently,  dropped  the  white 
kid  gloves  and  the  fan,  and  skurried  away  into 
the  darkness  as  hard  as  he  could  go. 


OF    TEAi'.S  10 

Alice  took  up  the  fan  and  gloves,  and,  as  the 
hall  was  very  hot,  she  kept  fanning  herself  all  the 
time  she  went  on  talking :  "  Dear,  dear  !  How 
queer  everything  is  to-day  !  And  yesterday  things 
went  on  just  as  usual.  I  wonder  if  I've  been 
changed  in  the  night  ?  Let  me  think  :  was  I  the 
same  when  I  got  up  this  morning  ?  I  almost 
think  I  can  remember  feeling  a  little  different- 
But  if  I'm  not  the  same,  the  next  question  is, 
Who  in  the  world  am  I  ?  Ah,  that's  the  great 
puzzle!"  And  she  began  thinking  over  all  the 
children  she  knew,  that  were  of  the  same  age  as 
herself,  to  see  if  she  could  have  been  changed  for 
any  of  them. 

"  I'm  sure  I'm  not  Ada,"  she  said,  "  for  her  hair 
goes  in  such  long  ringlets,  and  mine  doesn't  go 
in  ringlets  at  all  ;  and  I'm  sure  I  can't  be  Mabel, 
for  I  know  all  sorts  of  things,  and  she,  oh  !  she 
knows  such  a  very  little  !  Besides,  shes  she,  and 
/  'm  I,  and — oh  dear,  how  puzzling  it  all  is  !  I'll 
try  if  I  know  all  the  things  I  used  to  know.  Let 
me  see :  four  times  five  is  twelve,  and  four  times 
six    is    thirteen,    and    four    times     seven    is — oh 


20  THE  POOL 

dear !  I  shall  never  get  to  twenty  at  that 
rate  !  However,  the  Multiplication  Table  don't 
signify :  let's  try  Geography.  London  is  the 
capital  of  Paris,  and  Paris  is  the  capital  of  Rome, 
and  Rome — no,  that's  all  wrong,  I'm  certain !  I 
must  have  been  changed  for  Mabel !  I'll  try  and 
say  '  How  doth  the  little — '  "  and  she  crossed  her 
hands  on  her  lap,  as  if  she  were  saying  lessons, 
and  began  to  repeat  it,  but  her  voice  sounded 
hoarse  and  strange,  and  the  words  did  not  come 
the  same  as  they  used  to  do : — 


"  How  doth  the  little  crocodile 
Improve  his  shining  tail, 
And  pour  the  zvatcrs  of  the  Nile 
On  every  golden  scale  ! 


How  cheerfully  he  seems  to  grin, 
How  neatly  spreads  his  claws, 

And  welcomes  little  fishes  in 
With  gently  smiling  jaws  !  " 


OF   TEARS.  21 

"  I'm  sure  those  are  not  the  right  words,"  said 
poor  Alice,  and  her  eyes  filled  with  tears  again  as 
she  went  on,  "  I  must  be  Mabel  after  all,  and  I 
shall  have  to  go  and  live  in  that  poky  little  house, 
and  have  next  to  no  toys  to  play  with,  and  oh ! 
ever  so  many  lessons  to  learn  !  No,  I've  made  up 
my  mind  about  it :  if  I'm  Mabel,  I'll  stay  down  here! 
It'll  be  no  use  their  putting  their  heads  down  and 
saying,  '  Come  up  again,  dear  ! '  I  shall  only  look 
up  and  say,  '  Who  am  I,  then  ?  Tell  me  that 
first,  and  then,  if  I  like  being  that  person,  I'll 
come  up  :  if  not,  I'll  stay  clown  here  till  I'm  some- 
body else' — but,  oh  dear  !  "  cried  Alice  with  a 
sudden  burst  of  tears,  "  I  do  wish  they  would  put 
their  heads  down  !  I  am  so  very  tired  of  being 
all  alone  here  !  " 

As  she  said  this,  she  looked  down  at  her  hands, 
and  was  surprised  to  see  that  she  had  put  on  one 
of  the  Rabbit's  little  white  kid  gloves  while  she 
was  talking.  "  How  can  I  have  done  that  ?  "  she 
thought.  I  must  be  growing  small  again."  She 
got  up  and  went  to  the  table  to  measure  herself 
by  it,  and  found  that,  as  nearly  as  she  could  guess, 


22  THE  POOL 

she  was  now  about  two  feet  high,  and  was  going 
on  shrinking  rapidly:  she  soon  found  out  that 
the  cause  of  this  was  the  fan  she  was  holding, 
and  she  dropped  it  hastily,  just  in  time  to  save 
herself  from  shrinking  away  altogether. 

"  That  was  a  narrow  escape  !  "  said  Alice,  a 
good  deal  frightened  at  the  sudden  change,  but  very 
glad  to  find  herself  still  in  existence;  "  and  now 
for  the  garden  !  "  and  she  ran  with  all  speed  back 
to  the  little  door:  but  alas!  the  little  door  was 
shut  again,  and  the  little  golden  key  was  lying 
on  the  glass  table  as  before,  "  and  things  are 
worse  than  ever,"  thought  the  poor  child,  "  for  I 
never  was  so  small  as  this  before,  never !  And  I 
declare  it's  too  bad,  that  it  is !  " 

As  she  said  these  words  her  foot  slipped,  and 
in  another  moment,  splash  !  she  was  up  to  her 
chin  in  salt  water.  Her  first  idea  was  that  she 
had  somehow  fallen  into  the  sea,  "  and  in  that 
case  I  can  go  back  by  railway,"  she  said  to  her- 
self. (Alice  had  been  to  the  seaside  once  in  her 
life,  and  had  come  to  the  general  conclusion,  that 
wherever  you  go  to  on  the  English  coast  you  find 


OF   TEARS. 


23 


a  number  of  bathing  machines  in  the  sea,  some 
children  digging  in  the  sand  with  wooden  spades, 
then  a  row  of  lodging  houses,  and  behind  them  a 
railway  station.)  However  she  soon  made  out 
that  she  was  in  the  pool  of  tears  which  she  had 
wept  when  she  was  nine  feet  high. 

"  I  wish  I  hadn't  cried  so  much  ! "  said  Alice, 
as  she  swam  about,  trying  to  find  her  way  out, 
"  I  shall  be   punished  for   it  now,  I   suppose,   by 


24  THE  POOL 

being  drowned  in  my  own  tears !  That  will  be 
a  queer  thing,  to  be  sure  !  However,  everything 
is  queer  to-day." 

Just  then  she  heard  something  splashing  about 
in  the  pool  a  little  way  off,  and  she  swam  nearer 
to  make  out  what  it  was  :  at  first  she  thought  it 
must  be  a  walrus  or  hippopotamus,  but  then  she 
remembered  how  small  she  was  now,  and  she 
soon  made  out  that  it  was  only  a  mouse,  that  had 
slipped  in  like  herself. 

"  Would  it  be  of  any  use,  now,"  thought  Alice, 
"  to  speak  to  this  mouse  ?  Everything  is  so  out- 
of-the-way  down  here,  that  I  should  think  very 
likely  it  can  talk :  at  any  rate  there's  no  harm  in 
trying."  So  she  began :  "  O  Mouse,  do  you 
know  the  way  out  of  this  pool  ?  I  am  very  tired 
of  swimming  about  here,  O  Mouse!"  (Alice 
thought  this  must  be  the  right  way  of  speaking  to 
a  mouse  :  she  had  never  done  such  a  thing  be- 
fore, but  she  remembered  having  seen  in 
her  brothers  Latin  Grammar,  "  A  mouse — 
of  a  mouse — to  a  mouse — a  mouse — O  mouse!  ") 
The   Mouse   looked  at   her   rather  inquisitively, 


OF   TEARS.  25 

and  seemed  to  her  to  wink  with  one  of  its  little 
eyes,  but  it  said  nothing. 

"Perhaps  it  doesn't  understand  English," 
thought  Alice ;  "  I  daresay  it's  a  French  mouse, 
come  over  with  William  the  Conqueror."'  (For, 
with  all  her  knowledge  of  history,  Alice  had  no 
very  clear  notion  how  long  ago  anything  had 
happened.)  So  she  began  again  :  "  Ou  est  ma 
chatte  ? "  which  was  the  first  sentence  in  her 
French  lesson-book.  The  Mouse  gave  a  sudden 
leap  out  of  the  water,  and  seemed  to  ouiver 
all  over  with  fright.  "  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon  !  " 
cried  Alice  hastily,  afraid  that  she  had  hurt  the 
poor  animal's  feelings.  "  I  quite  forgot  you 
didn't  like  cats."' 

"  Not  like  cats  !  "  cried  the  Mouse,  in  a  shrill, 
passionate  voice.  "  Would  you  like  cats  if  you 
were  me  ?  " 

"  Well,  perhaps  not,"  said  Alice  in  a  sooth- 
ing tone  :  "  don't  be  angry  about  it.  And  yet 
I  wish  I  could  show  you  our  cat  Dinah :  I 
think  you'd   take   a   fancy   to   cats  if   you   could 


2G 


THE  POOL 


only  see   her.     She    is  such  a  dear  quiet  thine," 
Alice  went  on,  half  to  herself,  as  she  swam  lazily 


about  in  the  pool,  "  and  she  sits  purring  so 
nicely  by  the  fire,  licking  her  paws  and  wash- 
ing her  face— and  she  is  such  a  nice  soft  thino- 
to  nurse— and  she's  such  a  capital  one  for  catch 

ing  mice oh,  I  beg  your  pardon  ! "  cried  Alice 

again,  for  this  time  the  Mouse  was  bristling 
all  over,  and  she  felt  certain  it  must  be  really 
offended.  "  We  won't  talk  about  her  any  more 
if  you'd  rather  not." 


OF    TEAKS.  27 

"  We,  indeed !  "  cried  the  Mouse,  who  was 
trembling  clown  to  the  end  of  his  tail.  "  As  if 
/  would  talk  on  such  a  subject!  Our  family 
always  hated  cats :  nasty,  low,  vulgar  things ! 
Don't  let  me  hear  the  name  a^ain  !  " 

"  I  won  t  indeed !  "  said  Alice,  in  a  great 
hurry  to  change  the  subject  of  conversation. 
"Are  you — are  you  fond — of — of  dogs  ?  "  The 
Mouse  did  not  answer,  so  Alice  went  on  eagerly: 
"  There  is  such  a  nice  little  dog  near  our  house- 
I  should  like  to  show  you!  A  little  bright- 
eyed  terrier,  you  know,  with  oh !  such  long 
curlv  brown  hair !  And  it'll  fetch  things  when 
you  throw  them,  and  it'll  sit  up  and  beg  for 
its  dinner,  and  all  sorts  of  things — I  can't  re- 
member half  of  them — and  it  belongs  to  a 
farmer,  you  know,  and  he  says  it's  so  useful, 
it's  worth  a  hundred  pounds  !  He  says  it  kills 
all  the  rats  and — oh  dear !  "  cried  Alice  in  a 
sorrowful  tone.  "  I'm  afraid  I've  offended  it 
again ! "  For  the  Mouse  was  swimming  away 
from  her  as  hard  as  it  could  go,  and  making 
quite  a  commotion  in  the  pool  as  it  went. 


28  THE  TOOL   OF   TEARS. 

So  she  called  softly  after  it:  "Mouse  dear! 
Do  come  back  again,  and  we  won't  talk  about 
cats  or  clogs  cither,  if  you  don't  like  them!" 
When  the  Mouse  heard  this,  it  turned  round 
and  swam  slowly  back  to  her :  its  face  was 
quite  pale  (with  passion,  Alice  thought),  and 
it  said  in  a  low,  trembling  voice,  "  Let  us  get 
to  the  shore,  and  then  I'll  tell  you  my  history, 
ana  you'll  understand  why  it  is  I  hate  cats  and 
dogs." 

It  was  high  time  to  go,  for  the  pool  was 
getting  quite  crowded  with  the  birds  and  ani- 
mals that  had  fallen  into  it :  there  was  a  Duck 
and  a  Dodo,  a  Lory  and  an  Eaglet,  and  several 
other  curious  creatures.  Alice  led  the  way,  and 
the  whole  party  swam  to  the  shore. 


CHAPTER  III. 


A    CAUCUS-RACE     AND     A     LONG     TALE, 


They  were  indeed  a  queer-looking  party  that 
assembled  on  the  bank — the  birds  with  draggled 
feathers,  the  animals  with  their  fur  clinging  close 


30  A   CAUCUS-BACB 

to  them,  and  all  dripping  wet,  cross,  and  uncom- 
fortable. 

The  first  question  of  course  was,  how  to  get 
dry  again:  they  had  a  consultation  about  this, 
and  after  a  few  minutes  it  seemed  quite  natural 
to  Alice  to  find  herself  talking  familiarly  with 
them,  as  if  she  had  known  them  all  her  life. 
Indeed,  she  had  quite  a  long  argument  with  the 
Lory,  who  at  last  turned  sulky,  and  would  only 
say,  "  I  am  older  than  you,  and  must  know  better ;  " 
and  this  Alice  would  not  allow,  without  knowing 
how  old  it  was,  and  as  the  Lory  positively  re- 
fused to  tell  its  age,  there  was  no  more  to  be 
said. 

At  last  the  Mouse,  who  seemed  to  be  a  person 
of  some  authority  among  them,  called  out,  "Sit 
down,  all  of  you,  and  listen  to  me!  Ill  soon 
make  you  dry  enough  !  "  They  all  sat  down  at 
once,  in  a  large  ring,  with  the  Mouse  in  the 
middle.  Alice  kept  her  eyes  anxiously  fixed  on 
it,  for  she  felt  sure  she  would  catch  a  bad  cold  if 
she  did  not  get  dry  very  soon. 

"  Ahem  !  "  said  the  Mouse  with  an  important 


AND   A   LONG   TALE.  31 

air,  "are  you  all  ready?  This  is  the  dryest  thing 
I  know.  Silence  all  round,  if  you  please  !  '  Wil- 
liam the  Conqueror,  whose  cause  was  favored  by 
the  pope,  was  soon  submitted  to  by  the  English, 
who  wanted  leaders,  and  had  been  of  late  much 
accustomed  to  usurpation  and  conquest.  Edwin 
and  Morcar,  the  earls  of  Mercia  and  Northum- 
na — 

"  Ugh !  "  said  the  Lory,  with  a  shiver. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon  ?  "  said  the  Mouse,  frown- 
ing, but  very  politely  :  "  Did  you  speak  ?  " 

"  Not  I  !  "  said  the  Lory,  hastily. 

"  I  thought  you  did,"  said  the  Mouse. — "  I  pro- 
ceed. '  Edwin  and  Morcar,  the  earls  of  Mercia 
and  Northumbria,  declared  for  him  ;  and  even 
Stigand,  the  patriotic  archbishop  of  Canterbury, 
found  it  advisable — ' ' 

"   Found  what?  "  said  the  Duck. 

"  Found  //,"  the  Mouse  replied  rather  crossly  : 
"  of  course  you  know  what  '  it '  means." 

"  I  know  what  '  it '  means  well  enough  when 
/find  a  thing,"  said  the  Duck  :  "  it's  generally  a 
frog  or  a  worm.  The  question  is,  what  did  the 
archbishop  find  ?  " 


32  A   CAT7CUS-EACE 

The  Mouse  did  not  notice  this  question,  but 
hurriedly  went  on,  "  ' — found  it  advisable  to  go 
with  Edgar  Atheling  to  meet  William  and  offer 
him  the  crown.  William's  conduct  at  first  was 
moderate.  But  the  insolence  of  his  Normans — ' 
How  are  you  getting  on  now,  my  dear?  "  it  con- 
tinued, turning  to  Alice  as  it  spoke. 

"  As  wet  as  ever,"  said  Alice  in  a  melancholy 
tone :  "  it  doesn't  seem  to  dry  me  at  all." 

"  In  that  case,"  said  the  Dodo  solemnly,  rising 
to  its  feet,  "  I  move  that  the  meeting  adjourn, 
for  the  immediate  adoption  of  more  energetic 
remedies — " 

"  Speak  English  ! "  said  the  Eaglet.  "  I  don't 
know  the  meaning  of  half  those  long  words,  and 
what's  more,  I  don't  believe  you  do  either  !  "  And 
the  Eaglet  bent  down  its  head  to  hide  a  smile: 
some  of  the  other  birds  tittered  audibly. 

"  What  I  was  going  to  say,"  said  the  Dodo  in 
an  offended  tone,  "  was,  that  the  best  thing  to  get 
us  dry  would  be  a   Caucus-race." 

"  What  is  a  Caucus-race  ?  "  said  Alice  ;  not 
that  she  much   wanted    to   know,  but   the   Dodo 


AND   A   LONG   TALE.  33 

had  paused  as  if  it  thought  that  somebody  ought 
to  speak,  and  no  one  else  seemed  inclined  to  say 
anything. 

"  Why,"  said  the  Dodo,  "  the  best  way  to  ex- 
plain it  is  to  do  it."  (And  as  you  might  like  to 
try  the  thing  yourself,  some  winter  day,  I  will  tell 
you  how  the  Dodo  managed  it.) 

First  it  marked  out  a  race-course,  in  a  sort 
of  circle,  ("  the  exact  shape  doesn't  matter,"  it 
said,)  and  then  all  the  party  were  placed  along  the 
course,  here  and  there.  There  was  no  "  One, 
two,  three,  and  away,"  but  they  began  running 
when  they  liked,  and  left  off  when  they  liked,  so 
that  it  was  not  easy  to  know  when  the  race  was 
over.  However,  when  they  had  been  running 
half-an-hour  or  so,  and  were  quite  dry  again,  the 
Dodo  suddenly  called  out,  "  The  race  is  over  !  " 
and  they  all  crowded  round  it,  panting,  and  ask- 
ing, "  But  who  has  won  ?  " 

This  question  the  Dodo  could  not  answer 
without  a  great  deal  of  thought,  and  it  sat  for 
a  long  time  with  one  finger  pressed  upon  its 
forehead,   (the  position  in  which  you   usually  see 


34  A   CAUCUS-RACE 

Shakespeare,  in  the  pictures  of  him,)  while  the 
rest  waited  in  silence.  At  last  the  Doclo  said, 
"  Everybody  has  won,  and  all  must  have 
prizes." 

"  But  who  is  to  give  the  prizes  ?  "  quite  a  chorus 
of  voices  asked. 

"  Why,  she,  of  course,"  said  the  Doclo,  pointing 
to  Alice  with  one  ringer;  and  the  whole  party 
at  once  crowded  round  her,  calling  out  in  a  con- 
fused way,  "  Prizes  !   Prizes  !  " 

Alice  had  no  idea  what  to  do,  and  in  despair 
she  put  her  hand  into  her  pocket,  and  pulled  out 
a  box  of  comfits,  (luckily  the  salt  water  had  not 
got  into  it,  and  handed  them  round  as  prizes. 
There  was  exactly  one  a-piece,  all  round. 

"  But  she  must  have  a  prize  herself,  you  know," 
said  the  Mouse. 

"  Of  course,"  the  Dodo  replied  very  gravely. 
"  What  else  have  you  got  in  your  pocket  ?  "  he 
went  on,  turning  to  Alice. 

"  Only  a  thimble,"  said  Alice  sadly. 

"  Hand  it  over  here,"  said  the  Dodo. 

Then  they  all  crowded   round   her  once  more, 


AND  A  LONG   TALE. 


35 


while  the  Dodo  solemnly  presented  the  thimble, 
saying,  "  We  beg  your  acceptance  of  this  elegant 
thimble  ;  "  and,  when  it  had  finished  this  short 
speech,  they  all  cheered. 


36  A   CAUCUS-HACE 

Alice  thought  the  whole  thing  very  absurd, 
but  they  all  looked  so  grave  that  she  did  not  dare 
to  laugh,  and  as  she  could  not  think  of  anything 
to  say,  she  simply  bowed,  and  took  the  thimble, 
looking  as  solemn  as  she  could. 

The  next  thing  was  to  eat  the  comfits  :  this 
caused  some  noise  and  confusion,  as  the  large 
birds  complained  that  they  could  not  taste  theirs, 
and  the  small  ones  choked  and  had  to  be  patted 
on  the  back.  However  it  was  over  at  last,  and 
they  sat  down  again  in  a  ring,  and  begged  the 
Mouse  to  tell  them  something  more. 

"  You  promised  to  tell  me  your  history,  you 
know,'1  said  .Alice,  "and  why  it  is  you  hate — C 
and  D,"  she  added  in  a  whisper,  half  afraid  that 
it  would  be  offended  again. 

•'  Mine  is  a  long  and  a  sad  tale ! "  said  the 
Mouse,  turning  to  Alice,  and  sicjiinsr. 

"  It  is  a  long  tail,  certainly,"  said  Alice,  look- 
ing down  with  wonder  at  the  Mouse's  tail; 
"but  why  do  you  call  it  sad?"  And  she  kept  on 
puzzling  about   it  while  the  Mouse  was  speaking, 


AND   A   LONG  TALE.  37 


so  that  her  idea  of  the   tale  was  something  like 


£> 


this  : "  Fury  said  to 


a  mouse,  That 
he  met 
in  the 
house, 
'  Let  us 
both  go 
to  law  : 
/  will 
prosecute 
you.— 
Come,  I'll 
take  no 
denial  ; 
We  inn 

have  a 
trial : 
For 
really 
this 
morning 
I've 
nothing 
to  do, ' 
Said  the 
mouse  to 
the  cur, 
'  Such  a 
trial 
dear  sir, 
With  no 
jury  or 
judge, 
would  be 
wasting 

our  breath.' 
'I'll  be 
judge, 
I'll  be 
jury,' 
faaid 
cunning 

old  Fury  : 
'I'll  try 

the  whole 
cause, 
ana 
condemn 
you 
to 
death.' »» 


38  A  CAUCUS-RACE 

"  You  are  not  attending !  "  said  the  Mouse  to 
Alice,  severely.     "  What  are  you  thinking  of?  " 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  Alice  very  humbly  . 
"you  had  got  to  the  fifth  bend,  I  think? " 

"  I  had  not !  "  cried  the  Mouse,  sharply  and 
very  angrily. 

"  A  knot !  "  said  Alice,  always  ready  to  make 
herself  useful,  and   looking  anxiously  about  her. 

"  Oh  do  let  me  help  to  undo  it !  " 

"  I  shall  do  nothing  of  the  sort,"  said  the  Mouse, 
getting  up  and  walking  away.  "  You  insult  me 
by  talking  such  nonsense  !  " 

"  I  didn't  mean  it !  "  pleaded  poor  Alice.  "  But 
you're  so  easily  offended,  you  know ! " 

The  Mouse  only  growled  in  reply. 

"Please  come  back,  and  finish  your  story!" 
Alice  called  after  it ;  and  the  others  all  joined  in 
chorus,  "  Yes,  please  do !  "  but  the  Mouse  only 
shook  its  head  impatiently,  and  walked  a  little 
quicker. 

"  What  a  pity  it  wouldn't  stay !  "  sighed  the 
Lory,  as  soon  as  it  was  quite  out  of  sight ;  and 
an  old  crab  took  the  opportunity  of  saying  to  her 


AND   A  LONG  TALE.  39 

daughter.  "  Ah,  my  dear  !  Let  this  be  a  lesson 
to  you  never  to  lose  your  temper!  "  "  Hold  your 
tongue,  Ma  ! "  said  the  young  crab,  a  little  snap- 
pishly. "  You're  enough  to  try  the  patience  of 
an  oyster  !  " 

"  I  wish  I  had  our  Dinah  here,  I  know  I  do !  " 
said  Alice  aloud,  addressing  nobody  in  particular. 
"  She'd  soon  fetch  it  back !  " 

"  And  who  is  Dinah,  if  I  might  venture  to  ask 
the  question  ?  ':  said  the  Lory. 

Alice  replied  eagerly,  for  she  was  always  ready 
to  talk  about  her  pet.  "  Dinah's  our  cat.  And 
she's  such  a  capital  one  for  catching  mice,  you 
can't  think  !  And  oh,  I  wish  you  could  see  her 
after  the  birds !  Why  she'll  eat  a  little  bird  as 
soon  as  look  at  it  I  " 

This  speech  caused  a  remarkable  sensation 
among  the  party.  Some  of  the  birds  hurried 
off  at  once  :  one  old  magpie  began  wrapping  it- 
self up  very  carefully,  remarking,  "  I  really  must 
be  getting  home ;  the  night-air  doesn't  suit  my 
throat !  "  and  a  canary  called  out  in  a  trembling 
voice   to  its  children,  "  Come  away,  my  dears  1 


40  A   CAUCUS-RACE  AND   A   LONG  TALE. 

It's  high  time  you  were  all  in  bed !  "  On  various 
pretexts  they  all  moved  off,  and  Alice  was  soon 
left  alone. 

"  I  wish  I  hadn't  mentioned  Dinah !  "  she  said 
to  herself  in  a  melancholy  tone.  "  Nobody  seems 
to  like  her,  down  here,  and  I'm  sure  she's  the  best 
cat  in  the  world !  Oh,  my  dear  Dinah  !  I  won- 
der if  I  shall  ever  see  you  any  more  ! "  And  here 
poor  Alice  began  to  cry  again,  for  she  felt  very 
lonely  and  low-spirited.  In  a  little  while,  how- 
ever, she  again  heard  a  little  pattering  of  footsteps 
in  the  distance,  and  she  looked  up  eagerly,  half 
hoping  that  the  Mouse  had  changed  his  mind, 
and  was  coming  back  to  finish  his  story. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE  RABBIT  SENDS  IN  A  LITTLE  BILL. 

It  was  the  White  Rabbit,  trotting  slowly  back 
again,  and  looking  anxiously  about  as  it  went,  as 
if  it  had  lost  something  ;  and  she  heard  it  mut- 
tering to  itself,  "  The  Duchess  !  The  Duchess  ! 
Oh  my  dear  paws  !  Oh  my  fur  and  whiskers  ! 
She'll  get  me  executed,  as  sure  as  ferrets  are  fer- 
rets !  Where  can  I  have  dropped  them,  I  won- 
der ! "  Alice  guessed  in  a  moment  that  it  was 
looking  for  the  fan  and  the  pair  of  white  kid 
gloves,  and  she  very  good-naturedly  began  hunt- 


42  THE   IlARBIT    SENDS 

ing  about  for  them,  but  they  were  nowhere  to  be 
seen — everything  seemed  to  have  changed  since 
her  swim  in  the  pool,  and  the  great  hall,  with  the 
glass  table  and  the  little  door,  had  vanished  com- 
pletely. 

Very  soon  the  Rabbit  noticed  Alice,  as  she 
went  hunting  about,  and  called  out  to  her  in  an 
angry  tone,  "  Why,  Mary  Ann,  what  are  you  do- 
ing out  here  ?  Run  home  this  moment,  and 
fetch  me  a  pair  of  gloves  and  a  fan  !  Quick, 
now!"  And  Alice  was  so  much  frightened  that 
she  ran  off  at  once  in  the  direction  it  pointed  to, 
without  trying  to  explain  the  mistake  that  it  had 
made. 

':  He  took  me  for  his  housemaid,"  she  said  to 
herself  as  she  ran.  "  How  surprised  he'll  be  when 
he  finds  out  who  I  am  !  But  I'd  better  take  him 
his  fan  and  gloves — that  is,  if  I  can  find  them." 
As  she  said  this,  she  came  upon  a  neat  little 
house,  on  the  door  of  which  was  a  bright 
brass  plate  with  the  name  "  W.  RABBIT," 
engraved  upon  it.  She  went  in  without  knock- 
ing,  and    hurried    upstairs,    in    great    fear     lest 


IN"  A   LITTLE   BILL.  43 

she  should  meet  the  real  Mary  Ann,  and  be 
turned  out  of  the  house  before  she  had  found  the 
fan  and  gloves. 

"  How  queer  it  seems,"  Alice  said  to  herself, 
"  to  be  going  messages  for  a  rabbit !  I  suppose 
Dinah'll  be  sending  me  on  messages  next!" 
And  she  began  fancying  the  sort  of  thing  that 
would  happen  :  "  '  Miss  Alice  !  Come  here  di- 
rectly, and  get  ready  for  your  walk  ! '  '  Coming- 
in  a  minute,  nurse  !  But  I've  got  to  watch  this 
mousehole  till  Dinah  comes  back,  and  see  that 
the  mouse  doesn't  get  out'  Only  I  don't  think," 
Alice  went  on,  "  that  they'd  let  Dinah  stop  in 
the  house  if  it  began  ordering  people  about  like 
that!" 

By  this  time  she  had  found  her  way  into 
a  tidy  little  room  with  a  table  in  the  window, 
and  on  it  (as  she  had  hoped)  a  fan  and  two  or 
three  pairs  of  tiny  white  kid  gloves  :  she  took 
up  the  fan  and  a  pair  of  the  gloves,  and  was 
just  going  to  leave  the  room,  when  her  eye  fell 
upon  a  little  bottle  that  stood  near  the  looking- 
glass.     There  was  no   label   this   time  with   the 


44  THE   IlABBIT   SENDS 

words  "  DRINK  ME,"  but  nevertheless  she  un- 
corked it  and  put  it  to  her  lips.  "  I  know 
something  interesting  is  sure  to  happen,"  she 
said  to  herself,  "  whenever  I  eat  or  drink  any- 
thing ;  so  I'll  just  see  what  this  bottle  does. 
I  do  hope  it'll  make  me  grow  large  again,  for 
really  I'm  quite  tired  of  being  such  a  tiny 
little  thing!" 

It  did  so  indeed,  and  much  sooner  than  she 
had  expected;  before  she  had  drunk  half  the 
bottle,  she  found  her  head  pressing  against  the 
ceiling,  and  had  to  stoop  to  save  her  neck  from 
being  broken.  She  hastily  put  down  the  bottle, 
saying  to  herself,  "  That's  quite  enough — I  hope 
I  shan't  grow  any  more — As  it  is,  I  can't  get 
out  at  the  door — I  do  wish  I  hadn't  drunk  quite 
so  much  !  " 

Alas !  It  was  too  late  to  wish  that !  She 
went  on  growing  and  growing,  and  very  soon 
had  to  kneel  down  on  the  floor;  in  another 
minute  there  was  not  even  room  for  this,  and 
she  tried  the  effect  of  lying  down,  with  one 
elbow  against  the  door,  and  the  other  arm  curled 


IN   A   LITTLE   BILL. 


& 


round  her  head.  Still  she  went  on  growing, 
and,  as  a  last  resource,  she  put  one  arm  out  of 
the  window,  and  one  foot  up  the  chimney,  and 
said  to  herself,  "  Now  I  can  do  no  more,  what- 
ever happens.      What  will  become  of  me  ?  " 

Luckily  for  Alice,  the  little  magic  bottle  had 
now  had  its  full  effect,  and  she  grew  no  larger : 
still  it  was  very  uncomfortable,  and,  as  there 
seemed    to    be    no    sort    of   chance   of  her   ever 


46  THIS  RABBIT   SENDS 

getting  out  of  the  room  again,  no  wonder  she 
felt  unhappy. 

"  It  was  much  pleasanter  at  home,"  thought 
poor  Alice,  "  when  one  wasn't  always  growing 
larger  and  smaller,  and  being  ordered  about  by 
mice  and  rabbits.  I  almost  wish  I  hadn't  oone 
down  that  rabbit-hole — and  yet — and  yet — it's 
rather  curious,  you  know,  this  sort  of  life  !  I 
do  wonder  what  can  have  happened  to  me ! 
When  I  used  to  read  fairy-tales,  I  fancied  that 
kind  of  thing  never  happened,  and  now  here  I 
am  in  the  middle  of  one  !  There  ought  to  be 
a  book  written  about  me,  that  there  ought ! 
And  when  I  grow  up,  I'll  write  one — but  I'm 
grown  up  now,"  she  added  in  a  sorrowful  tone, 
•'  at  least  there's  no  room  to  grow  up  any  more 
here. 

"  But  then,"  thought  Alice,  "  shall  I  never 
get  any  older  than  I  am  now  ?  That'll  be  a 
comfort,  one  way — never  to  be  an  old  woman 
— but  then — always  to  have  lessons  to  learn ! 
Oh,  I  shouldn't  like  that/" 

"  Oh,  you  foolish   Alice  !  "    she  answered  her- 


IN   A   LITTLE   BILL.  47 

self.  "  How  can  you  learn  lessons  in  here  ? 
Why,  there's  hardly  room  for  you,  and  no  room 
at  all  for  any  lesson-books  ! " 

And  so  she  went  on,  taking  first  one  side  and 
then  the  other,  and  making  quite  a  conversation 
of  it  altogether,  but  after  a  few  minutes  she 
heard  a  voice  outside,  and  stopped  to  listen. 

"  Mary  Ann  !  Mary  Ann  !  "  said  the  voice, 
"  fetch  me  my  gloves  this  moment !  "  Then  came 
a  little  pattering  of  feet  on  the  stairs.  Alice 
knew  it  was  the  Rabbit  coming  to  look  for  her, 
and  she  trembled  till  she  shook  the  house,  quite 
forgetting  that  she  was  now  about  a  thousand 
times  as  large  as  the  Rabbit,  and  had  no  reason 
to  be  afraid  of  it. 

Presently  the  Rabbit  came  up  to  the  door, 
and  tried  to  open  it,  but  as  the  door  opened 
inwards,  and  Alice's  elbow  was  pressed  hard 
against  it,  that  attempt  proved  a  failure.  Alice 
heard  it  say  to  itself,  "  Then  I'll  go  round  and 
get  in  at  the  window." 

"  That  you  won't !  "  thought  Alice,  and,  after 
waiting  till  she  fancied  she  heard  the    Rabbit 


48 


THE   BABBIT    SENDS 


just    under    the    window   she   suddenly    spread 

out  her  hand,  and 
made  a  snatch  in  the 
air.  She  did  not  get 
hold  of  anything,  but 
she  heard  a  little 
shriek  and  a  fall, 
and  a  crash  of  bro- 
ken glass,f  rom  which 
she  concluded  that 
it  was  just  possible 
it  had  fallen  into  a 
cucumber-frame,  or 
something  of  the 
sort. 

Next  came  an  angry  voice — the  Rabbit's — 
"Pat!  Pat!  Where  are  you?"  And  then  a 
voice  she  had  never  heard  before,  "  Sure  then, 
I'm  here  !     Digging  for  apples,  yer  honor! " 

"  Digging    for    apples,    indeed ! "     said     the 
Rabbit   angrily.     "  Here !     Come    and  help  me 
out   of  this"  !     (Sounds   of   more  broken  glass.) 
"  Now  tell  me,   Pat,  what's  that  in  the  win- 
dow? 


IN    A    LITTLE    BILL.  49 

"  Sore,  It's  an  arm,  yer  honor ! "  (He  pro- 
nounced it "  arrum.") 

''  An  arm,  you  goose  !  Who  ever  saw  one  that 
size?     Why,  it  fills  the  whole  window!  " 

"  Sure,  it  does,  yer  honor :  but  it's  an  arm  for 
all  that." 

"  Well,  it's  got  no  business  there,  at  any  rate  : 
go  and  take  it  away  !  " 

There  was  a  long  silence  after  this,  and  Alice 
could  only  hear  whispers  now  and  then,  such  as, 
"  Sure,  I  don't  like  it,  yer  honor,  at  all  at  all ! ' 
"  Do  as  I  tell  you,  you  coward  !  "  and  at  last  she 
spread  out  her  hand  again  and  made  another 
snatch  in  the  air.  This  time  there  were  two  little 
shrieks  and  more  sounds  of  broken  glass.  "What 
a  number  of  cucumber  frames  there  must  be  !  " 
thought  Alice.  "  I  wonder  what  they'll  do  next ! 
As  for  pulling  me  out  of  the  window,  I  only  wish 
they  could  !  "  I'm  sure /don't  want  to  stay  in  here 
any  longer !  " 

She  waited  for  some  time  without  hearing  any- 
thing more :  at  last  came  a  rumbling  of  little 
cart-wheels,  and  the  sound  of  a  good  many  voices 


50  THE   RABBIT   SENDS 

all  talking  together :  she  made  out  the  words, 
"  Where's  the  other  ladder  ? — Why,  I  hadn't  to 
bring;  but  one  :  Bill's  £jot  the  other — Bill !  fetch 
it  here,  lad  ! — Here,  put  'em  up  at  this  corner — 
No,  tie  'em  together  first — they  don't  reach  half 
high  enough  yet — Oh  !  they'll  do  well  enough  ; 
don't  be  particular — Here,  Bill !  catch  hold  of 
this  rope — Will  the  roof  bear  ? — Mind  that 
loose  slate — Oh,  it's  coming  down !  Heads 
below!  "  (a  loud  crash) — "  Now,  who  did  that  ? — 
It  was  Bill,  I  fancy — Who's  to  £o  down  the 
chimney? — Nay,  /shan't !  You  do  it ! — That  I 
won't  then  ! — Bill's  got  to  go  down — Here,  Bill ! 
the  master  says  you've  got  to  go  down  the 
chimney !  " 

"  Oh,  so  Bill's  got  to  come  down  the  chim- 
ney has  he?"  said  Alice  to  herself.  "Why, 
they  seem  to  put  everything  upon  Bill!  I 
wouldn't  be  in  Bill's  place  for  a  good  deal : 
this  fireplace  is  narrow,  to  be  sure,  but  I  think  I 
can  kick  a  little  " 

She  drew  her  foot  as  far  down  the  chimney  as 
she  could,  and  waited  till  she  beard  a  little  animal 


IN    A    LITTLE    BILL. 


51 


pened  to  you  ? 


(she  couldn't  guess  of 
what  sort  it  was)  scratch- 
ing and  scrambling 
about  in  the  chimney 
close  above  her :  then, 
saying  to  herself,  "  This 
is  Bill,"  she  gave  one 
sharp  kick,  and  waited  to 
see  what  would  happen 
next. 

The  first  thing  she 
heard  was  a  general 
chorus  of  "  There  goes 
Bill  ?  "  then  the  Rabbit's 
voice  alone,  "  Catch  him, 
you  by  the  hedge !  "  then 
silence,  and  then  an- 
other confusion  of  voices 
- — "  Hold  up  his  head 
— Brandy  now  —  Don't 
choke  him — How  was  it, 
old  fellow  ?  What  hap- 
Tell  us  all  about  it !  " 


52  THE   RABBIT    SEXDS 

Last  came  a  little  feeble  squeaking  voice, 
("  That's  Bill,"  thought  Alice,)  "  Well,  I  hardly 
know — No  more,  thank'ye,  I'm  better  now — but 
I'm  a  deal  too  flustered  to  tell  you  — all  I  know 
is,  something  comes  at  me  like  a  jack-in-the-box, 
and  up  I  goes  like  a  sky-rocket !  " 

"  So  you  did,  old  fellow !  "  said  the  others. 

"  We  must  burn  the  house  down !  "  said  the 
Rabbit's  voice,  and  Alice  called  out  as  loud  as 
she  could,  "  If  you  do,  I'll  set  Dinah  at  you  !  " 

There  was  a  dead  silence  instantly,  and  Alice 
thought  to  herself,  "  I  wonder  what  they  will  do 
next!  If  they  had  any  sense,  they'd  take  the  roof 
off."  After  a  minute  or  two  they  began  moving 
about  again,  and  Alice  heard  the  Rabbit  say,  "  A 
barrowful  will  do,  to  begin  with." 

"  A  barrowful  of  what?'''1  thought  Alice;  but 
she  had  not  long  to  doubt,  for  the  next  moment 
a  shower  of  little  pebbles  came  rattling  in  at  the 
window,  and  some  of  them  hit  her  in  the  face. 
'.'  I'll  put  a  stop  to  this,"  she  said  to  herself,  and 
shouted  out,  "  You'd  better  not  do  that  again !  " 
which  produced  another  dead  silence. 


IN    A    LITTLE    BILL. 


Alice  noticed  with  some  surprise  that  the 
pebbles  were  all  turning  into  little  cakes  as  they 
lav  on  the  floor,  and  a  bright  idea  came  into  her 
head.  "  If  I  eat  one  of  these  cakes,"  she  thought, 
"  it's  sure  to  make  some  change  in  my  size  :  and 
as  it  can't  possibly  make  me  larger,  it  must  make 
me  smaller,  I  suppose." 

So  she  swallowed  one  of  the  cakes,  and  was 
delighted  to  find  that  she  began  shrinking 
directly.  As  soon  as  she  was  small  enough  to 
get  through  the  door,  she  ran  out  of  the  house, 
and  found  quite  a  crowd  of  little  animals  and 
birds  waiting  outside.  The  poor  little  Lizard, 
Bill,  was  in  the  middle,  being  held  up  by  two 
guinea-pigs,  who  were  giving  it  something  out 
of  a  bottle.  They  all  made  a  rush  at  Alice  the 
moment  she  appeared,  but  she  ran  off  as  hard 
as  she  could,  and  soon  found  herself  safe  in  a 
thick  wood. 

"  The  first  thing  I've  got  to  do,"  said  Alice  to 
herself,  as  she  wandered  about  in  the  wood,  "is 
to  grow  to  my  right  size   again ;  and  the  second 


5-1  THE   RABBIT   SENDS 

thing  is  to  find  my  way  into  that  lovely  garden.  I 
think  that  will  be  the  best  plan." 

It  sounded  an  excellent  plan,  no  doubt,  and 
very  neatly  and  simply  arranged  ;  the  only  diffi- 
culty was,  that  she  had  not  the  smallest  idea  how 
to  set  about  it ;  and  while  she  was  peering  about 
anxiously  among  the  trees,  a  little  sharp  bark 
just  over  her  head  made  her  look  up  in  a  great 
hurry. 

An  enormous  puppy  was  looking  down  at 
her  with  large  round  eyes,  and  feebly  stretching 
out  one  paw.  trying  to  touch  her.  "  Poor  little 
thing !  "  said  Alice  in  a  coaxing  tone,  and  she 
tried  hard  to  whistle  to  it,  but  she  was  terribly 
frightened  all  the  time  at  the  thought  that  it 
might  be  hungry,  in  which  case  it  would  be  very 
likely  to  eat  her  up  in  spite  of  all  her  coaxing. 

Hardly  knowing  what  she  did,  she  picked 
up  a  little  bit  of  stick,  and  held  it  out  to  the 
puppy  ;  whereupon  the  puppy  jumped  into  the 
air  off  all  its  feet  at  once,  with  a  yelp  of 
delight,  and  rushed  at  the  stick,  and  made  be- 
lieve   to    worry  it;    then    Alice    dodged    behind 


nST   A   LITTLE   BILL. 


55 


a  great  thistle,  to  keep  herself  from  being  run 
over,  and,  the  moment  she  appeared  on  the 
other  side,  the  puppy  made   another   rush  at  the 


56  THE   HABBIT    SENDS 

stick,  and  tumbled  head  over  heels  in  its  hurry 
to  get  hold  of  it ;  then  Alice,  thinking  it  was 
very  like  having  a  game  of  play  with  a  cart- 
horse, and  expecting  every  moment  to  be  tram- 
pled under  its  feet,  ran  round  the  thistle  again; 
then  the  puppy  began  a  series  of  short  charges 
at  the  stick,  running  a  very  little  way  forwards 
each  time  and  a  long  way  back,  and  bark- 
ing hoarsely  all  the  while,  till  at  last  it  sat 
clown  a  good  way  off,  panting,  with  its  tongue 
hanging  out  of  its  mouth,  and  its  great  eyes  half 
shut. 

This  seemed  to  Alice  a  good  opportunity  for 
making  her  escape,  so  she  set  off  at  once,  and 
ran  till  she  was  quite  tired  and  out  of  breath, 
and  till  the  puppy's  bark  sounded  quite  faint  in 
the  distance. 

"  And  yet  what  a  dear  little  puppy  it  was  !  " 
said  Alice,  as  she  leant  against  a  buttercup  to 
rest  herself,  and  fanned  herself  with  one  of  the 
leaves ;  "  I  should  have  liked  teaching  it  tricks 
very  much,  if— if  I'd  enly  been  the  right  size 
to  doit!     Oh   dear!     I'd  nearly   forgotten   that 


IN   A    LITTLE  BILL.  57 

I've  got  to  grow  up  again !  Let  me  see — how 
is  it  to  be  managed  ?  I  suppose  I  ought  to  eat 
or  drink  something  or  other;  but  the  great 
question  is,  what  ?  " 

The  great  question  certainly  was,  what? 
Alice  looked  all  round  her  at  the  flowers  and 
the  blades  of  grass,  but  she  could  not  see  any- 
thing: that  looked  like  the  rio-ht  thins-  to  eat 
or  drink  under  the  circumstances.  There  was  a 
large  mushroom  growing  near  her,  about  the 
same  height  as  herself,  and  when  she  had  looked 
under  it.  and  on  both  sides  of  it,  and  behind  it, 
it  occurred  to  her  that  she  misht  as  well  look  and 
see  what  was  on  the  top  of  it. 

She  stretched  herself  up  on  tiptoe,  and  peeped 
over  the  edge  of  the  mushroom,  and  her  eyes 
immediately  met  those  of  a  large  blue  cater- 
pillar, that  was  sitting  on  the  top  with  its  arms 
folded,  quietlv  smoking  a  long  hookah,  and  taking 
not  the  smallest  notice  of  her  or  of  anything 
else. 


CHAPTER  V. 


ADVICE    FROM    A    CATERPILLAR. 


The  Caterpillar  and  Alice  looked  at  each 
other  for  some  time  in  silence :  at  last  the 
Caterpillar  took  the  hookah  out  of  its  mouth, 
and    addressed    her    in    a  languid,    sleepy  voice. 


ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR.  59 

"Who  are  you  ?"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

This  was  not  an  encouraging  opening  for  a 
conversation.  Alice  replied,  rather  shyly,  "  I — I 
hardly  know,  sir,  just  at  present — at  least  I  know 
who  I  was  when  I  got  up  this  morning,  but  I 
think  I  must  have  been  changed  several  times 
since  then." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  "  said  the  Cater- 
pillar sternly.     "  Explain  yourself !  " 

"  I  can't  explain  myself^  I'm  afraid,  sir," 
said  Alice,  "  because  I'm  not  myself,  you 
see." 

"  I  don't  see,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  I'm  afraid  I  can't  put  it  more  clearly," 
Alice  replied  very  politely,  "  for  I  can't  under- 
stand it  myself  to  begin  with ;  and  being  so 
many  different  sizes  in  a  day  is  very  confus- 
ing. 

"  It  isn't,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  perhaps  you  haven't  found  it  so  yet," 
said  Alice;  "but  when  you  have  to  turn  into  a 
chrysalis — you  will    some    day,  you    know — and 


GO  ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR. 

then  after  that  into  a  butterfly,  I  should  think 
you'll  feel  it  a  little  queer,  won't  you  ? '' 

c;  Not  a  bit,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  perhaps  your  feelings  may  be  differ- 
ent," said  Alice;  "all  I  know  is,  it  would  feel 
very  queer  to  mc."_ 

"  You  ?  "  said  the  Caterpillar  contemptuously. 
"  Who  are  you  ?  " 

Which  brought  them  back  asfain  to  the  be- 
ginning  of  the  conversation.  Alice  felt  a  little 
irritated  at  the  Caterpillar's  making  such  very 
short  remarks,  and  she  drew  herself  up  and  said, 
very  gravely,  "  I  think  you  ought  to  tell  me  who 
you  are,  first." 

"  Why  ?  "  said  the  Caterpillar. 

Here  was  another  puzzling  question  ;  and,  as 
Alice  could  not  think  of  any  good  reason,  and 
as  the  Caterpillar  seemed  to  be  in  a  very  un- 
pleasant state  of  mind,  she  turned  away. 

':  Come  back  ! "  the  Caterpillar  called  after  her. 
"  I've  something  important  to  say! " 

This  sounded  promising,  certainly:  Alice 
turned  and  came  back  again. 


ADVICE    FROM    A    CATERPILLAR.  31 

£;  Keep  your  temper,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 
'':  Is    that   all?"   said   Alice,   swallowing  down 
her  anger  as  well  as  she"  could. 

"  No,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

Alice  thought  she  might  as  well  wait,  as  she 
had  nothing  else  to  do,  and  perhaps  after  all  it 
might  tell  her  something  worth  hearing.  For 
some  minutes  it  puffed  away  without  speaking, 
but  at  last  it  unfolded  its  arms,  took  the  hookah 
out  of  its  mouth  again,  and  said,  ll  So  you  think 
you're  changed,  do  you  ?  " 

"I'm  afraid  I  am,  sir,"  said  Alice;  "I  can't 
remember  things  as  I  used — and  I  don't  keep 
the  same  size  for  ten  minutes  together!  " 

"Can't  remember  what  things  ?"•  said  the 
Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  I've  tried  to  say  '  How  doth  the  little 
busy  bee,' but  it  all  came  different ! "  Alice  re- 
plied in  a  very  melancholy  voice. 

"  Repeat  '  You  arc  old,  Father  William^  "  said 
the  Caterpillar. 

Alics  mldecl  her  hands,  and  began  ;— ■ 


62 


ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR. 


"  You  are  old,  father  William"  the  young  man  said, 
"  And  yotir  hair  has  become  very  white ; 

And  yet  you  incessantly  stand  on  your  head- 
Do  you  think,  at yozir  age,  it  is  right?" 


"  In  my  youth"  father  William  replied  to  /its  sou, 
"  I  feared  it  might  injure  the  brain  ; 

But  now  that  I'm  perfectly  sure  I  have  none, 
Why,  I  do  it  again  and  again" 


ADVICE    PROM    A   CATERPILLAR 


03 


"  You  are  old"  said  the  youth,  "  as  I  mentioned  be- 
fore, 

And  have  grown  most  uncommonly  fat ; 
Yet  you  turned  a  back-somersault  in  at  the  door — 

Pray,  what  is  the  reason  of  that  ?  y 

"  In  my  youth,"  said  the  sage,  as  he  shook  his  gray 
lochs, 

"  /  kept  all  my  limbs  very  supple 
By  the  use  of  this  ointment — one  shilling  the  box — ■ 

Allow  me  to  sell  you  a  coupler 


64  ADVICE  FROM   A   CATERPILLAR. 

spirit" 


11  You  are  old"  said  the  youth,  "  and  your  jaws  are 
too  weak 

For  anything  tougher  than  suet ; 
Yet  you  finished  the  goose,  with  the  doues  and  the 
beak : 
Pray,  how  did  you  manage  to  do  it?  "  i 

"■In  my  youth,"  said  his  father,  "  I took  to  the  lazv, 
And  argued  each  case  with  my  wife; 

And  the  muscular  strength,  whichit gave  to  my  jaw, 
Has  lasted  the  rest  of  my  lifer 


ADVICE   FllOM    A    CATERPILLAR. 


G5 


:;.;£- 


e/^h 


vfowm 


"  1W  rt/r  oldr  said  the  youth ;  "  one  would  hardly 

suppose 
That  your  eye  was  as  steady  as  ever; 
Yet  yon  balanced  an  eel  en  the  end  of  your  nose — 
What  made  you  so  awfully  clever?  ' 

u  I  have   answered  three  questions,   and  that  is 
enough" 

Said  his  father  ;  "  doii  t  give  yourself  airs  ! 
Do  you  thin  :  I  can  listen  all  day  to  such  stuff? 

Be  off,  or  I'll  kick  you  down  stairs  !  " 


66  ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR. 

"  That  is  not  said   right,"  said  the   Caterpillar. 

"  Not  quite  right,  I'm  afraid,"  said  Alice 
timidly ;  "  some  of  the  words  have  got  altered." 

"It  is  wrono-  from  be^innintj  to  end,"  said  the 
Caterpillar  decidedly,  and  there  was  silence  for 
some  minutes. 

The  Caterpillar  was  the  first  to  speak. 

"  What  size  do  you  want  to  be  ?  "  it  asked. 

"  Oh,  I'm  not  particular  as  to  size,"  Alice 
hastily  replied;  "  only  one  doesn't  like  changing 
so  often,  you  know." 

"  I  dorit  know,"  said  the  Caterpillar. 

Alice  said  nothing :  she  had  never  been  so 
much  contradicted  in  all  her  life  before,  and  she 
felt  that  she  was  losing  her  temper. 

"  Are  you  content  now  ?  "  said  the  Caterpillar. 

"  Well,  I  should  like  to  be  a  little  larger,  sir, 
if  you  wouldn't  mind,"  said  Alice  :  "  three  inches 
is  such  a  wretched  height  to  be." 

"  It  is  a  very  good  height  indeed ! "  said  the 
Caterpillar  angrily,  rearing  itself  upright  as  it 
spoke  (it  was  exactly  three  inches  high). 

"  But     I'm     not     used   to    it !  "  pleaded    poor 


ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR.  (37 

Alice  in  a  piteous  tone.  .And  she  thought  to 
herself,  "  I  wish  the  creature  wouldn't  be  so 
easily  offended !  " 

"  You'll  get  used  to  it  in  time,"  said  the 
Caterpillar ;  and  it  put  the  hookah  into  its 
mouth  and  began  smoking  again. 

This  time  Alice  waited  patiently  until  it 
chose  to  speak  again.  In  a  minute  or  two  the 
Caterpillar  took  the  hookah  out  of  its  mouth, 
and  yawned  once  or  twice,  and  shook  itself. 
Then  it  got  down  off  the  mushroom,  and  crawled 
away  into  the  grass,  merely  remarking  as  it  went, 
"  One  side  will  make  you  grow  taller,  and  the 
other  side  will  make  you  grow  shorter." 

"  One  side  of  what?  The  other  side  of 
what?  "  thought  Alice  to  herself. 

"  Of  the  mushroom,"  said  the  Caterpillar,  j-ust 
as  if  she  had  asked  it  aloud ;  and  in  another 
moment  it  was  out  of  si^ht. 

Alice  remained  looking  thoughtfully  at  the 
mushroom  for  a  minute,  trying  to  make  out 
which  were  the  two  sides  of  it ;  and,  as  it  was 
perfectly   round,  she   found   this   a   very  difficult 


68  ADVICE    FROM    A   CATERPILLAR.     ■ 

question.  However,  at  last  she  stretched  her 
arms  round  it  as  far  as  they  would  go,  and  broke 
off  a  bit  of  the  edge  with  each  hand. 

"  And  now  which  is  which  ?  "  she  said  to  her- 
self, and  nibbled  a  little  of  the  right-hand  bit  to 
fry  the  effect:  the  next  moment  she  felt  a  vio- 
lent blow  underneath  her  chin  ;  it  had  struck 
her  foot ! 

She  was  a  good  deal  frightened  by  this  very 
sudden  change,  but  she  felt  that  there  was  no 
time  to  be  lost,  as  she  was  shrinking  rapidly ; 
so  she  set  to  work  at  once  to  eat  some  of  the 
other  bit.  Her  chin  was  pressed  so  closely 
against  her  foot,  that  there  was  hardly  room  to 
open  her  mouth  ;  but  she  did  it  at  last,  and 
managed  to   swallow  a  morsel  of  the  left-hand 

bit. 


*  *  *  *  * 

;'  Come,  my  head's  free  at  last !  "  said  Alice  in 
a  tone  of  delight,  which  changed  into  alarm  in 
another      moment,  when     she     found    that    her 


ADVICE  FROM   A   CATERPILLAR.  69 

shoulders  were  nowhere  to  be  found  :  all  she 
could  see,  when  she  looked  down,  was  an  im- 
mense length  of  neck,  which  seemed  to  rise  like 
a  stalk  out  of  a  sea  of  green  leaves  that  lay  far 
below  her. 

"  What  can  all  that  green  stuff  be  ?  "  said 
Alice.  "  And  where  have  my  shoulders  got  to  ? 
And  oh,  my  poor  hands,  how  is  it  I  can't  see 
you  ? "  She  was  moving  them  about  as  she 
spoke,  but  no  result  seemed  to  follow,  except  a 
little  shaking  among  the  distant  green  leaves. 

As  there  seemed  to  be  no  chance  of  getting 
her  hands  up  to  her  head,  she  tried  to  get  her 
head  down  to  them,  and  was  delighted  to  find 
that  her  neck  would  bend  about  easily  in  any 
direction,  like  a  serpent  She  had  just  succeeded 
in  curving  it  down  into  a  graceful  zigzag,  and 
was  going  to  dive  in  among  the  leaves,  which 
she  found  to  be  nothing  but  the  tops  of  the 
trees  under  which  she  had  been  wandering,  when 
a  sharp  hiss  made  her  draw  back  in  a  hurry  ;  a 
large  pigeon  had  flown  into  her  face,  and  was 
beating  her  violently  with  its  wings. 


70  ADVICE   FKOM  A   CATERPILLAR.     • 

"  Serpent !  "  screamed  the  Pigeon. 

"  I'm  not  a  serpent !  "  said  Alice  indignantly. 
"  Let  me  alone  !  " 

"  Serpent,  I  say  again!"  repeated  the  Pigeon, 
but  in  a  more  subdued  tone,  and  added  with  a 
kind  of  sob,  "  I've  tried  every  way,  and  nothing 
seems  to  suit  them  ! " 

"  I  haven't  the  least  idea  what  you're  talking 
about,"  said  Alice. 

"  I've  tried  the  roots  of  trees,  and  I've  tried 
banks,  and  I've  tried  hedges,"  the  Pigeon  went 
on,  without  attending  to  her ;  "  but  those  ser- 
pents !     There's  no  pleasing  them  !  " 

Alice  was  more  and  more  puzzled,  but  she 
thought  there  was  no  use  in  saying  anything 
more  till  the  Pigeon  had  finished. 

"  As  if  it  wasn't  trouble  enough  hatching: 
the  eggs,"  said  the  Pigeon,  "  but  I  must  be  on 
the  look-out  for  serpents  night  and  day!  Why, 
I  haven't  had  a  wink  of  sleep  these  three 
weeks  !  " 

"  I'm  very  sorry  you've  been  annoyed,"  said 
Alice,  who  was  beginning  to  see  its  meaning. 


ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR.  71 

"  And  just  as  I'd  taken  the  highest  tree  in 
the  wood,"  continued  the  Pigeon,  raising  its 
voice  to  a  shriek  "  and  just  as  I  was  thinking 
I  should  be  free  of  them  at  last,  they  must  needs 
come  wriggling  down  from  the  sky !  Ugh  ! 
Serpent !  " 

"  But  I'm  not  a  serpent,  I  tell  you  !  "  said  Alice, 

I  m  a 1  m  a ■ 

"  Well  !  What  are  you  ?  "  said  the  Pigeon. 
"  I  can  see  you're  "trying  to  invent  something!  " 

"  I — I'm  a  little  girl,"  said  Alice,  rather  doubt- 
fully, as  she  remembered  the  number  of  changes 
she  had  gone  through  that  day. 

"A  likely  story  indeed !"  said  the  Pigeon  in 
a  tone  of  the  deepest  contempt.  "  I've  seen  a 
good  many  little  girls  in  my  time,  but  never  cue 
with  such  a  neck  as  that!  No,  no!  You're  a 
serpent ;  and  there's  no  use  denying  it.  I  sup- 
pose you'll  be  telling  me  next  that  you  never 
tasted  an  egg !  " 

"  I  have  tasted  eggs,  certainly,"  said  Alice,  who 
was  a  very  truthful  child;  "but  little  girls  cat 
eggs  quite  as  much  as  serpents  do,  you  know." 


72  ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR. 

"I  don't  believe  it,"  said  the  Pigeon;  ''but  if 
they  do,  why  then  they're  a  kind  of  serpent, 
that's  all  I  can  say." 

This  was  such  a  new  idea  to  Alice,  that 
she  was  quite  silent  for  a  minute  or  two,  which 
gave  the  Pigeon  the  opportunity  of  adding, 
"  You're  looking  for  eggs,  I  know  that  well 
enough  ;  and  what  does  it  matter  to  me  whether 
you're  a  little  girl  or  a  serpent  ? " 

"  It  matters  a  good  deal  to  me"  said  Alice 
hastily;  "but  I'm  not  looking  for  eggs,  as  it 
happens  ;  and  if  I  was,  I  shouldn't  want  yours  : 
I  don't  like  them  raw.'' 

"  Well,  be  eff,  then ! "  said  the  Pigeon  in  a 
sulky  tone,  as  it  settled  down  again  into  its 
nest.  Alice  crouched  down  among  the  trees  as 
well  as  she  could,  for  her  neck  kept  getting 
entangled  among  the  branches,  and  every  now 
and  then  she  had  to  stop  and  untwist  it.  After 
a  while  she  remembered  that  she  still  held  the 
pieces  of  mushroom  in  her  hands,  and  she  set 
to  work  very  carefully,  nibbling  first  at  one 
and  then  at   the  other,  and  growing   sometimes 


ADVICE   FROM   A   CATERPILLAR.  73 

taller  and  sometimes  shorter,  until  she  had  suc- 
ceeded in  brinsnno:  herself  down  to  her  usual 
height. 

It  was  so  long  since  she  had  been  anything 
near  the  right  size,  thai,  ft  felt  quite  strange 
at  first,  but  she  got  used  to  it  in  a  few  min- 
utes, and  began  talking  to  herself  as  usual. 
"  Come,  there's  half  my  plan  done  now  !  How 
puzzling  all  these  changes  are  !  I'm  never  sure 
what  I'm  going  to  be,  from  one  minute  to  an- 
other !  However,  I've  got  back  to  my  right 
size :  the  next  thing  is,  to  get  into  that  beau- 
tiful garden — how  is  that  to  be  done,  I  wcn- 
der  ?  "  As  she  said  this,  she  came  suddenly  upon 
an  open  place,  with  a  little  house  in  it  about 
four  feet  high.  "  Whoever  lives  there,"  thought 
Alice,  "  it'll  never  do  to  come  upon  them  this 
size  :  why,  I  should  frighten  them  out  of  their 
wits  !"  So  she  began  nibbling  at  the  right-hand 
bit  again,  and  did  not  venture  to  go  near  the 
house  till  she  had  bought  herself  down  to  nine 
inches  high. 


CHAPTER   VI. 


PIG    AND    PEPPER. 


For  a  minute  or  two  she  stood  looking  at  the 
house,  and  wondering  what  to  do  next,  when  sud- 
denly a  footman  in  livery  came  running  out  of 
the  wood — (she  considered  him  to  be  a  footman 
because  he  was  in  livery  :  otherwise,  judging  by 
his  face  only,  she  would  have  called  him  a  fish)  - 
and  rapped  loudly  at  the  door  with  his  knuckles. 
It  was  opened  by  another  footman  in  livery,  with 
a  round  face  and  large  eyes  like  a  frog  ;-  and  both 
footmen,  Alice  noticed,  had  powdered  hair  that 
curled  all  over  their  heads.     She  felt  very  curious 


PIG   AND    PEPPER 


75 


to  know  what  it  was   all   about,  and  crept  a  little 
way  out  of  the  wood  to  listen. 

The  Fish-Footman  began  by  producing  from 
under  his  arm  a  great  letter,  nearly  as  large  as 
himself,  and  this  he  handed  over  to  the  other, 
saying  in  a  solemn  tone,  "  For  the  Duchess.    An 


76  PIG   AND   PEPPER. 

invitation  from  the  Queen  to  play  croquet."  The 
Frog- Footman  repeated,  in  the  same  solemn  tone, 
only  changing  the  order  of  the  words  a  little, 
"  From  the  Queen.  An  invitation  for  the  Duch- 
ess to  play  croquet." 

Then  they  both  bowed  low,  and  their  curls  got 
entangled  together. 

Alice  laughed  so  much  at  this  that  she  had  to 
run  back  into  the  wood  for  fear  of  their  hearing 
her,  and  when  she  next  peeped  out  the  Fish- 
Footman  was  gone,  and  the  other  was  sitting  on 
the  ground  near  the  door,  staring  stupidly  up  into 
the  sky. 

Alice  went  timidly  up  to  the  door,  and 
knocked. 

"  There's  no  sort  of  use  in  knocking,"  said 
the  Footman,  "  and  that  for  two  reasons.  First, 
because  I'm  on  the  same  side  of  the  door  as 
you  are ;  secondly,  because  they're  making  such 
a  noise  inside,  no  one  could  possibly  hear  you." 
And  certainly  there  was  a  most  extraordinary 
noise  going  on  within — a  constant  howling 
and  sneezing,  and   every   now  and  then   a  great 


PIG   AND   PEPPER.  77 

crash,  as  if  a  dish  or  kettle  had  been  broken  to 
pieces. 

"  Please,  then,"  said  Alice,  "  how  am  I  to  get 
in? 

"  There  might  be  some  sense  in  your  knock- 
ing," the  Footman  went  on  without  attending  to 
her,  "  if  we  had  the  door  between  us.  For  in- 
stance, if  you  were  inside,  you  might  knock,  and 
I  could  let  you  out,  you  know."  He  was  looking 
up  into  the  sky  all  the  time  he  was  speaking, 
and  this  Alice  thought  decidedly  uncivil.  "  But 
perhaps  he  can't  help  it,"  she  said  to  herself ; 
"  his  eyes  are  so  very  nearly  at  the  top  of  his 
head.  But  at  any  rate  he  might  answer  ques- 
tions—How am  I  to  get  in  ?  "  she  repeated, 
aloud. 

"  I  shall  sit  here,"  the  Footman  remarked,  "  till 
to-morrow " 

At  this  moment  the  door  of  the  house  opened, 
and  a  large  plate  came  skimming  out,  straight  at 
the  Footman's  head:  it  just  grazed  his  nose,  and 
broke  to  pieces  against  one  of  the  trees  behind 
him. 


78  PIG   AiTD   PEPPER. 


-or   next  day,  maybe,"  the   footman  con- 


tinued in  the  same  tone,  exactly  as  if  nothing  had 
happened. 

"  How  am  I  to  sjet  in?"  Alice  asked  aoain  in 
a  louder  tone, 

11  Are  you  to  get  in  at  all  ?  '  said  the  Footman, 
u  That's  the  first  question,  you  know." 

It  was,  no  doubt :  only  Alice  did  not  like  to  be 
told  so.  "  It's  really  dreadful,"  she  muttered  to 
herself,  "  the  way  all  the  creatures  argue.  It's 
enough  to  drive  one  crazy !  " 

The  Footman  seemed  to  think  this  a  good  op- 
portunity for  repeating  his  remark,  with  varia- 
tions. "  I  shall  sit  here,"  he  said,  "  on  and  off, 
for  days  and  days." 

"  But  what  am  /  to  do  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Anything  you  like,"  said  the  Footman,  and 
began  whistling. ' 

"Oh,  there's  no  use  in  talking  to  him,"  said 
Alice  desperately  :  "  he's  perfectly  idiotic  !  "  And 
she  opened  the  door  and  went  in. 

The  door  led  right  into  a  large  kitchen,  which 
was  full  of  smoke  from  one  end  to  the  other:  the 


PIG    AND    PEPPER. 


79 


Duchess  was  sitting  on  a  three-legged  stool  in  the 
middle,  nursing  a  baby;  the  cook  was  leaning 
over  the  fire,  stirring  a  large  cauldron  which 
seemed  to  be  full  of  soup. 

"  There's  certainly  too  much  pepper  in  that 
soup!"  Alice  said  to  herself,  as  well  as  she  could 
for  sneezing. 


80  PIG    AND   PEPPER. 

There  was  certainly  too  much  of  it  in  the  air. 
Even  the  Duchess  sneezed  occasionally  ;  and  as 
for  the  baby,  it  was  sneezing  and  howling  alter- 
nately without  a  moments  pause.  The  only  two 
creatures  in  the  kitchen  that  did  not  sneeze, 
were  the  cook,  and  a  large  cat  which  was  sitting 
on  the  hearth  and  grinning  from  ear  to  ear. 

1  Please,  would  you  tell  me,"  said  Alice,  a  little 
timidly,  for  she  was  not  quite  sure  whether  it  was 
good  manners  for  her  to  speak  first,  "why  your 
cat  grins  like  that  ?  " 

"  It's  a  Cheshire  cat,"  said  the  Duchess,  "  and 
that's  why.     Pis: !  " 

She  said  the  last  word  with  such  sudden  vio- 
lence that  Alice  quite  jumped  ;  but  she  saw  in 
another  moment  that  it  was  addressed  to  the 
baby,  and  not  to  her,  so  she  took  courage,  and 
went  on  again  : — 

"  I  didn't  know  that  Cheshire  cats  always 
grinned  ;  in  fact,  I  didn't  know  that  cats  could 
grin." 

"  They  all  can,"  said  the  Duchess  ;  "  and  most 
of  'em  do." 


PIG   AND   PEPPER.  81 

"  I  don't  know  of  any  that  do,"  Alice  said  very 
politely,  feeling  quite  pleased  to  have  got  into  a 
conversation. 

"You  don't  know  much,"  said  the  Duchess; 
"  and  that's  a  fact." 

Alice  did  not  at  all  like  the  tone  of  this 
remark,  and  thought  it  would  be  as  well  to 
introduce  some  other  subject  of  conversation. 
While  she  was  trying  to  fix  on  one,  the  cook 
took  the  cauldron  of  soup  off  the  fire,  and  at 
once  set  to  work  throwing  everything  within 
her  reach  at  the  Duchess  and  the  baby — the 
fire-irons  came  first ;  then  followed  a  shower 
of  saucepans,  plates,  and  dishes.  The  Duchess 
took  no  notice  of  them,  even  when  they  hit  her ; 
and  the  baby  was  howling  so  much  already,  that 
it  was  quite  impossible  to  say  whether  the  blows 
hurt  it  or  not. 

"  Oh,  please  mind  what  you're  doing  !  "  cried 
Alice,  jumping  up  and  down  in  an  agony  of 
terror.  "  Oh,  there  goes  hisfirecious  nose !  "  as 
an  unusually  large  saucepan  flew  close  by  it,  and 
very  nearly  carried  it  off. 


82  PIG   AND   PEPPER. 

"  If  everybody  minded  their  own  business," 
said  the  Duchess  '  in  a  hoarse  growl,  "  the  world 
would  go  round  a  deal  faster  than  it  does." 

"  Which  would  not  be  an  advantage,"  said 
Alice,  who  felt  very  glad  to  get  an  opportunity 
of  showing  off  a  little  of  her  knowledge.  "Just 
think  what  work  it  would  make  with  the  day 
and  night !  You  see  the  earth  takes  twenty-four 
hours  to  turn  round  on  its  axis " 

"  Talking  of  axes,"  said  the  Duchess,  "  chop 
off  her  head  !  " 

Alice  glanced  rather  anxiously  at  the  cook,  to 
see  if  she  meant  to  take  the  hint;  but  the 
cook  was  busily  stirring  the  soup,  and  seemed 
not  to  be  listening,  so  she  went  on  again : 
"Twenty-four  hours,  I  think;  or  is  it  twelve? 
I " 

"  Oh,  don't  bother  me?  said  the  Duchess;  "  I 
never  could  abide  figures."  And  with  that  she 
be^an  nursing  her  child  a2,ain.  sino;mor  i  sort  of 
lullaby  to  it  as  she  did  so,  and  giving  it  a  violent 
shake  at  U12  end  of  every  line: — 


PIG   AND   PEPPER.  83 

**  Speak  roughly  to  your  little  boy, 
And  beat  him  when  he  sneezes  ; 
lie  only  does  it  to  annoy, 
Because  he  knows  it  teases? 

Chorus. 

(in  which  the  cook  and  the  baby  joined)  : — 
"  Wow  !   wow  !    wcw  !  " 

While  the  Duchess  sangr  the  second  verse  oi 
the  song,  she  kept  tossing  the  baby  violently  up 
and  down,  and  the  poor  little  thing  howled  so, 
that  Alice  could  hardly  hear  the  words  :— 

"  /  speak  severely  to  my  boy, 
I  beat  him  when  he  sneezes  ; 
For  he  can  thoroughly  enjoy 
The  pepper  when  he  pleases  /  " 

Chorus. 
"  Wow  !   wow  !   wow  !  " 


84  PIG  AND   PEPPER. 

"  Here  !  you  may  nurse  it  a  bit,  if  you  like  !" 
said  the  Duchess  to  Alice,  flinging  the  baby  at 
her  as  she  spoke.  "  I  must  go  and  get  ready  to 
play  croquet  with  the  Queen,"  and  she  hurried 
out  of  the  room.  The  cook  threw  a  frying-pan 
after  her  as  she  v/ent,  but  it  just  missed  her. 

Alice  caught  the  baby  with  some  difficulty, 
as  it  was  a  queer-shaped  little  creature,  and  held 
out  its  arms  and  legs  in  all  directions,  "  just  like 
a  star-fish,"  thought  Alice.  The  poor  little  thing 
was  snorting  like  a  steam-engine  when  she 
caught  it,  and  kept  doubling  itself  up  and 
straightening  itself  out  again,  so  that  altogether, 
for  the  first  minute  or  two,  it  was  as  much  as 
she  could  dp  to  hold  it. 

As  soon  as  she  had  made  out  the  proper  way 
of  nursing  it,  (which  was  to  twist  it  up  into  a 
sort  of  knot,  and  then  keep  tight  hold  of  its 
right  ear  and  left  foot,  so  as  to  prevent  its 
undoing  itself,)  she  carried  it  out  into  the  open 
air.  "  If  I  don't  take  this  child  away  with  me," 
thought  Alice,  "  they're    sure   to  kill   it  in  a  day 


PIG    AND    PEPPER.  85 

or  two :  wouldn't  it  be  murder  to  leave  it 
behind  ?  "  She  said  the  last  words  out  loud,  and 
the  little  thing  grunted  in  reply  (it  had  left  off 
sneezing  by  this  time*.  "  Don't  grunt,"  said  Alice  : 
"that's  not  at  all  a  proper  way  of  expressing  your- 
self." 

The  baby  grunted  again,  and  Alice  looked 
very  anxiously  into  its  face  to  see  what  was  the 
matter  with  it.  There  could  be  no  doubt  that 
it  had  a  very  turn-up  nose,  much  more  like  a 
snout  than  a  real  nose;  also  its  eyes  were  get- 
ting extremely  small,  for  a  baby;  altogether 
Alice  did  not  like  the  look  of  the  thing  at  all, 
" — but  perhaps  it  was  only  sobbing,"  she  thought, 
and  looked  into  its  eyes  again,  to  see  if  there 
were  any  tears. 

No,  there  were  no  tears.  "  If  you're  going  to 
turn  into  a  pig,  my  dear,"  said  Alice,  seriously, 
"  I'll  have  nothing  more  to  do  with  you.  Mind 
now  !  "  The  poor  little  thing  sobbed  again,  (cr 
grunted,  it  was  impossible  to  say  which,)  and 
they  went  on  for  some  while  in  silence. 


8fi 


PIG   AND   PEPPER. 


Alice   was  just  beginning  to   think  to  herself, 

'  Now,    what    am    I    to    do    with    this    creature 

when  I  get  it   home  ?  "  when    it  grunted  again, 

so  violently,  that  she 

looked  down  into  its 

face  in    some  alarm. 
> 
This  time  there  could 

be  no  mistake  about 
it:  it  was  neither 
more  nor  less  than 
a  pig,  and  she  felt 
that  it  would  be 
quite  absurd  for  her 
to  carry  it  any  fur- 
ther. * 


So  she  set  the 
little  creature  down,  and  felt  quite  relieved  to 
see  it  trot  away  quietly  into  the  wood.  "  If 
it  had  grown  up,"  she  said  to  herself,  "  it  would 
have  been  a  dreadfully  ugly  child ;  but  it  makes 
rather  a  handsome  pig,  I  think."  And  she  be- 
gan thinking  over  other  children  she  knew,  who 


PIG    AND   PEPPER.  87 

might  do  very  well  as  pigs,  and  was  just  saying 
to  herself,  "  if  one   only  knew  the   right  way  to 

change  them -"  when  she  was  a  little  startled 

by  seeing  the  Cheshire  Cat  sitting  on  a  bough  of 
a  tree  a  few  yards  off. 

The  Cat  only  grinned  when  it  saw  Alice.  It 
looked  good-natured,  she  thought ;  still  it  had 
very  long  claws  and  a  great  many  teeth,  so  she 
felt  it  ought  to  be  treated  with  respect. 

"  Cheshire  Puss,"  she  began,  rather  timidly,  as 
she  did  not  at  all  know  whether  it  would  like  the 
name  :  however,  it  only  grinned  a  little  wider. 
"  Come,  it's  pleased  so  far,"  thought  Alice,  and 
she  went  on,  "  Would  you  tell  me,  please,  which 
way  I  ought  to  walk  from  here  ?  " 

"  That  depends  a  good  deal  on  where  you  want 
to  get  to,"  said  the  Cat. 

"  I  don't  much  care  where "  said  Alice. 

"  Then  it  doesn't  matter  which  way  you  walk," 
said  the  Cat. 

" — so  long  as  I  get  somezvhere"  Alice  added 
as  an  explanation. 


88  PIG   AND   PEPPER. 

"  Oh,  you're  sure  to  do  that,"  said  the  Cat,  "  if 
you  only  walk  long  enough." 

Alice  felt  that  this  could  not  be  denied,  so  she 
tried  another  question.  "  What  sort  of  people 
live  about  here  ?  " 

"  In  that  direction,"  the  Cat  said,  waving  its 
right  paw  round,  "lives  a  Hatter;  and  in  that 
direction,"  waving  the  other  paw,  "  lives  a  March 
Hare.  Visit  either  you  like:  they're  both 
mad." 

"  But  I  don't  want  to  go  among  mad  people," 
Alice  remarked. 

"  Oh,  you  can't  help  that,"  said  the  Cat :  "  we're 
all  mad  here.     I'm  mad.     You're  mad." 

"  How  do  you  know  I'm  mad  ? "  said  Alice. 

"You  must  be,"  said  the  Cat,  "or  you 
wouldn't  have  come  here." 

Alice  didn't  think  that  proved  it  at  all ;  how- 
ever, she  went  on  ;  "  and  how  do  you  know  that 
you're  mad  ?  " 

"  To  begin  with,"  said   the   Cat,    "  a  dog's   not 
mad.     You  grant  that  ?  " 
I  suppose  so,"  said  Alice. 


PIG    AND    PEPPER. 


89 


**->, 


"  "  V %>-  JPJft-  . ^-fv. 


"  Well  then,"  the  Cat 
went  on,  "  you  see  a  dog 
growls  when  it's  angry. 
and  wags  its  tail  when  it's 
pleased.  Now  /  growl 
when  I'm  pleased,  and  wag 
my  tail  when  I'm  angry. 
Therefore  I'm  mad." 

"  /  call  it  purring,  not 
growling,"  said  Alice. 

"  Call  it  what  you  like." 
said  the  Cat.  "  Do  you 
croquet  with  the  Queen  to-day  ? " 


90  PIG    AND   PEPPER. 

"  I  should  like  it  very  much,"  said  Alice,  "  but 
I  haven't  been  invited  vet.1' 

J 

"  You'll  see  me  there,"  said  the  Cat,  and  van- 
ished. 

Alice  was  not  much  surprised  at  this,  she 
was  getting  so  well  used  to  queer  things  hap- 
pening. While  she  was  still  looking  at  the 
place  where  it  had  been,  it  suddenly  appeared 
again. 

"  By-the-bye,  what  became  of  the  baby  ? "  said 
the  Cat.     "  I'd  nearly  forgotten  to  ask." 

"  It  turned  into  a  pig,"  Alice  answered  very 
quietly,  just  as  if  the  Cat  had  come  back  in  a 
natural  way. 

11  I  thought  it  would,"  said  the  Cat,  and  van- 
ished again. 

Alice  waited  a  little,  half  expecting  to  see  it 
again,  but  it  did  not  appear,  and  after  a  minute 
or  two  she  walked  on  in  the  direction  in  which 
the  March  Hare  was  said  to  live.  "  I've  seen 
hatters  before,"  she  said  to  herself :  "  the  March 
Hare  will  be  much  the  moct  interesting,  and 
perhaps  as  this  is  May  it  won't  be  raving  mad — 


PIG    AND    PEPPER. 


£H 


Vv~Cv^kg' 


""3  <r  '^*Vr- 


at  least  not  so  mad  as  it  was  in  March."  As 
she  said  this,  she  looked  up,  and  there  was  the 
Cat  again,  sitting  on  a  branch  of  a  tree. 

"  Did  you  say  pig,  or  fig  ?  "  said  the  Cat. 

"  I  said  pig,"  replied  Alice  ;  "  and  I  wish  you 
wouldn't  keep  appearing  and  vanishing  so  sud- 
denly :  you  make  one  quite  giddy." 

"  All  right,"  said  the  Cat ;  and  this  time  it 
vanished  quite  slowly,  beginning  with  the  end 
of  the  tail,  and  ending  with  the  grin,  which  re- 
mained some  time  after  the  rest  of   it    had  gone. 

"  Well !    I've  often  seen  a  cat  without  a  grin," 


92  PIG   AND   PEPPER. 

thought  Alice;  "but  a  grin  without  a  cat! 
It's  the  most  curious  thing  I  ever  saw  in  all  my 
life  !  " 

She  had  not  gone  much  farther  "before  she 
came  in  sight  of  the  house  of  the  March  Hare  ; 
she  thought  it  must  be  the  ri^ht  house,  because 
the  chimneys  were  shaped  like  ears  and  the  roof 
was  thatched  with  fur.  It  was  so  larp-e  a  house, 
that  she  did  not  like  to  go  nearer  till  she  had 
nibbled  some  more  of  the  left-hand  bit  of  mush- 
room, and  raised  herself  to  about  two  feet  high: 
even  then  she  walked  up  towards  it  rather 
timidly,  saying  to  herself,  "  Suppose  it  should  be 
raving  mad  after  all  !  I  almost  wish  I'd  gone  to 
see  the  Hatter  instead  !  " 


CHAPTER  VII. 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY. 


There  was  a  tabic  set  out  under  a  tree  in 
front  of  the  house,  and  the  March  Hare  and  the 
Hatter  were'  having  tea  at  it :  a  Dormouse  was 
sitting  between  them,  fast  asleep,  and  the  other 
two  were  using  it  as  a  cushion,  resting  their 
elbows  on  it,  and  talking  over  its  head.  "  Very 
uncomfortable  for  the  Dormouse,'  thought  Alice; 
"  only,  as  it's  asleep,  I  suppose  it  doesn't  mind." 

The  table  was  a  large  one,  but  the  three  were 
all  crowded  together  at  one  corner  of  it:  "No 
room !     No  room  !  "  they  cried  out  when  they 


94  A  MAD   TEA-PAKTY. 

saw  Alice  coming.  "  There's  plenty  of  room  !  " 
said  Alice  indignantly,  and  she  sat  down  in  a 
large  arm-chair  at  one  end  of  the  table. 

"  Have  some  wine,"  the  March  Hare  said  in 
an  encouraoinor  tone. 

Alice  looked  all  round  the  table,  but  there  was 
nothing  on  it  but  tea.  "  I  don't  see  any  wine," 
she  remarked. 

"  The^e  isn't  any,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Then  it  wasn't  very  civil  of  you  to  offer  it," 
said  Alice  angrily. 

"  It  wasn't  very  civil  of  you  to  sit  clown  with- 
out beinsr  invited,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  I  didn't  know  it  was  your  table,"  said 
Alice  ;  "  it's  laid  for  a  great  many  more  than 
three." 

"  Your  hair  wants  cutting,"  said  the  Hatter. 
He  had  been  looking  at  Alice  for  some  time 
with  great  curiosity,  and  this  was  his  first 
speech. 

u  You  should  learn  not  to  make  personal 
remarks,"  Alice  said  with  some  severity :  "  it's 
very  rude." 


A   MAD  TEA-PARTY. 


The  I  latter  opened  his  eyes  very  wide  on  hear- 
ing this  ;  but  all  he  said  was,  "  Why  is  a  raven 
like  a  writing-desk  ?'" 

"  Come,  we  shall  have  some  fun  now ! " 
thought  Alice.  "  I'm  glad  they've  begun  asking 
riddles —  I  believe  I  can  guess  that,"  she  added 
aloud. 

"  Do  you  mean  that  you  think  you  can  find 
out  the  answer  to  it  ?  "  said  the  March  Hare. 


9G  A    MAD   TEA-PARTY. 

"  Exactly  so,"  said  Alice. 

"  Then  you  should  say  what  you  mean,"  the 
March  Hare  went  on. 

"  I  do,"  Alice  hastily  replied  ;  "  at  least — at 
least  I  mean  what  I  say — that's  the  same  thing, 
you  know." 

"  Not  the  same  thing:  a  bit !  "  said  the  Hatter. 
"Why,  you  might  just  as  well  say  that  '  I  see 
what  I  eat '  is  the  same  thing  as  '  I  eat  what  I 
see   ! 

"  You  might  just  as  well  say,"  added  the  March 
Hare,  "  that  '  I  like  what  I  get '  is  the  same  thing 
as  '  I  get  what  I  like  ' !  " 

"  You  might  just  as  well  say,'  added  the  Dor- 
mouse, who  seemed  to  be  talking  in  his  sleep, 
"  that  '  I  breathe  when  I  sleep  '  is  the  same  thing 
as  '  I  sleep  when  I  breathe  ' ! " 

"  It  is  the  same  thing  with  you,"  said  the 
Hatter,  and  here  the  conversation  dropped,  and 
the  party  sat  silent  for  a  minute,  while  Alice 
thought  over  all  si  could  remember  about  ravens 
and  writing-desks,  which  wasn't  much. 

The  Hatter  was  the   first  to  break  the  silence. 


A   MAD   TEA-PARTY.  97 

"  What  day  of  the  month  is  it?  "  he  said,  turn- 
ins:  to  Alice:  he  had  taken  his  watch  out  of 
his  pocket,  and  was  looking  at  it  uneasily,  shak- 
ing it  every  now  and  then,  and  holding  it  to  his 
ear. 

Alice  considered  a  little,  and  said,  "  The 
fourth." 

k  Two  clays  wrong !  "  sighed  the  Hatter.  "  I 
told  you  butter  wouldn't  suit  the  works!"  he 
added,  looking  angrily  at  the  March  Hare. 

'•  It  was  the  best  butter,"  the  March  Hare 
meekly  replied. 

"  Yes,  but  some  crumbs  must  have  got  in  as 
well,"  the  Hatter  grumbled  :  "  you  shouldn't  have 
put  it  in  with  the  bread-knife." 

The  March  Hare  took  the  watch  and  looked 
at  it  gloomily  :  then  he  dipped  it  into  his  cup  of 
tea,  and  looked  at  it  again  :  but  he  could  think 
of  nothing  better  to  say  than  his  first  remark,  "  It 
was  the  best  butter,  you  know." 

Alice  had  been  looking  over  his  shoulder  with 
some    curiosity.     "  What  a   funny   watch    "  she 


98  A  MAD   TEA-PARTY. 

remarked.  "  It  tells  the  day  of  the  month,  and 
doesn't  tell  what  o'clock  it  is! " 

u  Why  should  it  ? "  muttered  the  Hatter. 
"  Does  your  watch  tell  you  what  year  it  is?  " 

"  Of  course  not,"  Alice  replied  „very  readily  : 
"  but  that's  because  it  stays  the  same  year  for 
such  a  long  time  together." 

"  Which  is  just  the  case  with  mine?  said  the 
Hatter. 

Alice  felt  dreadfully  puzzled.  The  Hatter's  re- 
mark seemed  to  her  to  have  no  sort  of  meaning 
in  it,  and  yet  it  was  certainly  English.  "  I  don't 
quite  understand  you,"  she  said,  as  politely  as  she 
could. 

"  The  Dormouse  is  asleep  again,"  said  the 
Hatter,  and  he  poured  a  little  hot  tea  on  to  its 
nose. 

The  Dormouse  shook  its  Lead  impatiently, 
and  said,  without  opening  its  eyes,  "  Of  course, 
of  course  :  just  what  I  was  going  to  remark 
myself." 

"  Have  you  guessed  the  riddle  yet?  "  the  Hatter 
said,  turning  to  Alice  again. 


A    MAD   TEA-PARTY.  00 

"  No,  I  give  it  up,"  Alice  replied  :  "  what's  the 
answer  ? " 

"  I  haven't  the  slightest  idea,"  said  the 
Hatter. 

"  Nor  I,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

Alice  sighed  wearily.  "  I  think  you  might 
do  something  better  with  the  time,"  she  said, 
"  than  wasting  it  in  asking;  riddles  that  have  no 
answers." 

"  If  you  knew  Time  as  well  as  I  do,"  said  the 
Hatter,  "you  wouldn't  talk  about  wasting  it.  It's 
him" 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  mean,"  said  Alice. 

"  Of  course  you  don't !  "  the  Hatter  said,  tossing 
his  head  contemptuously.  "  I  dare  say  you  never 
even  spoke  to  Time  !  " 

"  Perhaps  not,"  Alice  cautiously  replied  :  "  but 
I  know  I  have  to  beat  time  when  I  learn 
music." 

"  Ah  !    that   accounts  for   it,"  said  the  Hatter. 
"  He    won't    stand    beating.      Now,    if    you  only 
kept   on   good  terms   witli    him,  he'd   do  almost       \ 
anything    you    liked    with    the    clock.       For    in-  \ 


S 


100  A  MAD   TEA-PAKTY. 

stance,  suppose  it  were  nine  o'clock  in  the  morn- 
ing, just  time  to  begin  lessons  :  you'd  only  have 
to  whisper  a  hint  to  Time,  and  round  goes  the 
clock  in  a  twinkling !  Half-past  one,  time  for 
dinner ! " 

("  I  only  wish  it  was,"  the  March  Hare  said  to 
itself  in  a  whisper.) 

"  That  would  be  grand,  certainly,"  said  Alice 
thoughtfully :  "  but  then — I  shouldn't  be  hungry 
for  it,  you  know/' 

lt  Not  at  first,  perhaps,"  said  the  Hatter :  "  but 
you  could  keep  it  to  half-past  one  as  long  as  you 
liked." 

"  Is  that  the  way  you  manage  ?  "  Alice 
asked. 

The  Hatter  shook  his  head  mournfully.     "  Not 

I  "  he  replied.     "  We  quarrelled  last  March 

just  before  he  went  mad,  you  know "  (point- 
ing with  his  teaspoon  at  the  March  Hare,)  " 

it  was  at  the  great  concert  given  by  the  Queen  of 
Hearts,  and  I  had  to  sing." 


A   MAD   TEA-PAftTY, 


101 


1  Twinkle,  twinkle^  little  bat  I 
How  I  wonder  what  you  re  at!1 

You  know  the  song  perhaps  ?  " 

"  I've  heard  something  like  it,"  said  Alice. 

"  It  goes  on,  you  know,"  the  Hatter  continued, 

"  in  this  way  ■ — 


'  Up  above  the  world y 'ott 'fly, 
Like  a  tea-tray  in  the  sky. 

Twinkle,  twinkle- 


102  A   MAD   TEA  PARTY. 

Here  the  Dormouse  shook  itself,  and  began 
singing  in  its   sleep,  "  Twinkle,  twinkle,  twinkle, 

twinkle "  and  went  on  so  long  that  they  had 

to  pinch  it  to  make  it  stop. 

"  Well,  Td  hardly  finished  the  first  verse," 
said  the  Hatter,  "when  the  Queen  bawled  out 
1  He's  murdering  the  time  !     Off  with  his  head  !'  " 

"  How  dreadfully  savage !  "  exclaimed  Alice. 

"  And  ever  since  that,"  the  Hatter  went  on  in 
a  mournful  tone,  "  he  won't  do  a  thing  I  ask  i 
It's  always  six  o'clock  now." 

A  bright  idea  came  into  Alice's  head.  "  Is 
that  the  reason  so  many  tea-things  are  put  out 
here  ? "   she  asked. 

"  Yes,  that's  it,"  said  the  Hatter  with  a  sigh  : 
"  it's  always  tea-time,  and  we've  no  time  to  wash 
the  things  between  whiles." 

"  Then  you  keep  moving  around,  I  suppose  ?  " 
said  Alice. 

"  Exactly  so,"  said  the  Hatter  :  "  as  the  things 
get  used  up." 

"  But  when  you  come  to  the  beginning  again  ?  " 
Alice  ventured  to  ask. 


A   MAD    TEA-PAKTY.  103 

"Suppose  we  change  the  subject,"  the  March 
Hare  interrupted,  yawning.  "  I'm  getting  tired 
of  this.  I  vote  the  young  lady  tells  us  a 
story." 

"  I'm  afraid  I  don't  know  one,"  said  Alice, 
rather  alarmed  at  the  proposal. 

"  Then  the  Dormouse  shall ! "  they  both   cried. 

"  Wake  up,  Dormouse  !  "  And  they  pinched  it 
on  both  sides  at  once. 

'■  The  Dormouse  slowly  opened  his  eyes.  "  I 
wasn't  asleep,"  he  said  in  a  hoarse,  Teeble  voice : 
"  I  heard   every  word  you   fellows  were  saying." 

"  Tell  us  a  story  !  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Yes,  please  do  !  "  pleaded  Alice. 

"  And  be  quick  about  it,"  added  the  Hatter, 
"  or  you'll  be  asleep  again  before  it's  done.'' 

"  Once  upon  a  time  there  were  three  little 
sisters,"  the  Dormouse  began  in  a  great  Lurry  ; 
"and  their  names  were  Elsie,  Lacie,  and  Tiilie , 
and  they  lived  at  the  bottom  of  a  well " 

"What  did  they  live  on?"  said  Alice,  who 
always  took  a  great  interest  in  questions  of  eat- 
ing and  drinking. 


104  A  MAD   TEA  PARTY. 

"  They  lived  on  treacle,"  said  the  Dormouse, 
after  thinking  a  minute  or  t»wo. 

"  They  couldn't  have  done  that,  you  know," 
Alice  gently  remarked  :  "  they'd  have  been  ill." 

"  So  they  were,"  said  the  Dormouse;  "very  ill." 

Alice  tried  a  little  to  fancy  to  herself  what 
such  an  extraordinary  way  of  living  would  be 
like,  but  it  puzzled  her  too  much,  so  she  went 
on :  "  But  why  did  they  live  at  the  bottom  of  a 
well  ?  " 

"  Take  some  more  tea,"  the  March  Hare  said 
to  Alice,  very  earnestly. 

"  I've  had  nothing  yet,"  Alice  replied  in  an 
offended  tone,  "  so  I  can't  take  more." 

"  You  mean,  you  can't  take  /ess"  said  the 
Hatter;  "it's  very  easy  to  take  more  than 
nothing." 

"  Nobody  asked  your  opinion,"  said  Alice. 

"  Who's  making  personal  remarks  now  ?  "  the 
Hatter  asked  triumphantly 

Alice  did  not  quite  know  what  to  say  to  this: 
so  she  helped  herself  to  some  tea  and  bread-and- 
butter,  and  then    turned  to  the   Dormouse,  and 


A   MAD   TEA-PARTY.  10£ 

repeated  her  question.  "  Why  did  they  live  al 
the  bottom  of  a  well  ?  " 

The  Dormouse  again  took  a  minute  or  twc 
to  think  about  it,  and  then  said,  "  It  was  a  treacle- 
well." 

"There's  no  such  thing:!"  Alice  was  beo-in- 
ning  very  angrily,  but  the  Hatter  and  the  March 
Hare  went  "  Sh  !  sh !  "  and  the  Dormouse  sulkily 
remarked,  "  If  you  can't  be  civil,  you'd  better 
finish  the  story  for  yourself." 

"  No,  please  go  on ! "  Alice  said,  very  humbly: 
"  I  won't  interrupt  you  again.  I  dare  say  there 
may  be  one" 

"  One,  indeed  ! "  said  the  Dormouse  indignant- 
ly. However,  he  consented  to  go  on.  "  And 
so  these  three  little  sisters— they  were  learning 
.to  draw,  you  know " 

"  What  did  they  draw  ?  "  said  Alice,  quite  for- 
getting her  promise. 

"  Treacle,"  said  the  Dormouse,  without  con- 
sidering- at  all  this  time. 

"  I  want  a  clean  cup,"  interrupted  the  Hatter: 
"  let's  all  move  one  place  on." 


10G  A   MAD  TEA-PARTY. 

He  moved  on  as  he  spoke,  and  the  Dormouse 
followed  him  :  the  March  Hare  moved  into  the 
Dormouse's  place,  and  Alice  rather  unwillingly 
took  the  place  of  the  March  Hare.  The  Hatter 
was  the  only  one  who  got  any  advantage  from 
the  change  :  and  Alice  was  a  good  deal  worse 
off  than  before,  as  the  March  Hare  had  just  up- 
set the  milk-jug  into  his  plate. 

Alice  did  not  wish  to  offend  the  Dormouse 
again,  so  she  began  very  cautiously:  "  But  I 
don't  understand.  Where  did  they  draw  the 
treacle  from  ? " 

"  You  can  draw  water  out  of  a  water-well," 
said  the  Hatter ;  "so  I  should  think  you  could 
draw  treacle  out  of  a  treacle-well —  eh,  stupid  ?" 

"  But  they  were  in  the  well,"  Alice  said  to 
the  Dormouse,  not  choosing  to  notice  this  last 
remark. 

"  Of  course  they  were,"  said  the  Dormouse, — 
"  well  in." 

This  answer  so  confused  poor  Alice,  that  she 
let  the  Dormouse  <ro  on  for  some  time  without 
interrupting  it. 


A  MAD   TEA-PARTY.  1     I 

"  They  were  learning  to  draw,"  the  Dormouse 
went  on,  yawning  and  rubbing  its  eyes,  for  it 
was  getting  very  sleepy ;  "  and  they  drew  all 
manner  of  things — everything  that  begins  with 
an  M " 

';  Why  with  an  M  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Why  not?  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

Alice  was  silent. 

The  Dormouse  had  closed  its  eyes  by  this 
time,  and  was  going  off  into  a  doze,  but,  on 
being  pinched  by  the    Hatter,  it  woke  up  again 

with  a    little    shriek,    and    went    on :    " that 

begins  with  an  M,  such  as  mousetraps,  and  the 
moon,  and  memory,  and  muchness-  you  know 
you  say  things  are  '  much  of  a  muchness  ' — did 
you  ever  see  such  a  thing  as  a  drawing  of  a 
muchness  ?  " 

'■  Really,  now  you  ask  me,"  said  Alice,  very 
much  confused,  "  I  don't  think " 

"  Then  you  shouldn't  talk,"  said  the  Hatter. 

This  piece  of  rudeness  was  more  than  Alice 
could  bear :  she  got  up  in  great  disgust,  and 
walked  off:  the   Dormouse  fell  asleep  instantly, 


108 


A   MAD  TEA-PARTY. 


and  neither  of  the  others  took  the  least  notice 
of  her  going,  though  she  looked  back  once  or 
twice,  half  hoping  that  they  would  call  after 
her:  the  last  time  she  saw  them,  they  were 
trying   to    put    the   Dormouse    into  the    teapot. 

"  At  any  rate  I'll  never  go-  there  again  !  "  said 
Alice  as  she  picked  her  way  through  the  wood. 

"  It's  the  stupidest  tea-party  I  ever  was  at  in 
all  my  life  !  " 

Just  as  she  said  this,  she  noticed  that  one 
of  the  trees   had   a  door  leading   right    into  it. 


A  MAD  TEA-PARTY.  109 

"  That's  very  curious  ! "  she  thought.  "  But 
everything's  curious  to-day.  I  think  I  may  as 
well  go  in  at  once."     And  in  she  went. 

Once  more  she  found  herself  in  the  long  hall, 
and  close  to  the  little  glass  table.  "  Now,  I'll 
manage  better  this  time,"  she  said  to  herself,  and 
began  by  taking  the  little  golden  key,  and 
unlocking  the  door  that  led  into  the  garden. 
Then  she  set  to  work  nibbling  at  the  mushroom 
(she  had  kept  a  piece  of  it  in  her  pocket)  till  she 
was  about  a  foot  high  :  then  she  walked  down 
the  little  passage :  and  then — she  found  herself 
at  last  in  the  beautiful  garden,  among  the  bright 
flower-beds  and  the  cool  fountains. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  QUEEN'S  CROQUET  GROUND. 

A  large,  rose-tree  stood  near  the  entrance  ot 
the  garden :  the  roses  growing  on  it  were  white, 
but  there  were  three  gardeners  at  it,  busily  paint- 
ing them  red.  Alice  thought  this  a  very  curious 
thing,  and  she  went  nearer  to  watch  them,  and 
just  as  she  came  up  to  them  she  heard  one  of 
them  say,  "  Look  out  now,  Five !  Don't  go 
splashing  paint  over  me  like  that !  " 

"  I  couldn't  help  it,"  said  Five  in  a  sulky  tone; 
"  Seven  jogged  my  elbow." 


THE   QUEEN'S    CROQUET    GROUND. 


Ill 


On  which  Seven  looked  up  and  said,  "  That's 
right,  Five  !     Always  lay  the  blame  on  others  !  " 

"  Youd better  not  talk!  "  said  Five.  "  I  heard 
the  Queen  say  only  yesterday  you  deserved  to  be 
beheaded !  " 

"  What  for  ?  " 
said  the  one  who 
had  spoken  first. 

"  That's  none 
of  your  business, 
Two!"  said  Seven. 

"  Yes,  it  is  his 
business  ! "  said 
Five,  "  and  I'll 
tell  him — it  was 
for  bringing  the 
cook  tulip-roots 
instead  of  onions." 

Seven  flunsr 
down  his  brush,  and  had  ust  begun,  "  Well,  of 
all  the  unjust  things — "  when  his  eye  chanced  to 
fall  upon  Alice,  as  she  stood  watching  them, 
and   he  checked   himself   suddenly :   the   others 


<e&&£i 


WPmyr 


112  .  THE   QUEEN'S 

looked  round  also,  and  all  of  them  bowed 
low. 

"  Would  you  tell  me,  please,"  said  Alice, 
a  little  timidly,  "  why  you  are  painting  those 
roses  ?  " 

Five  and  Seven  said  nothing,  but  looked  at 
Two.  Two  began,  in  a  low  voice,  "  Why,  the 
fact  is,  you  see,  Miss,  this  here  ought  to  have 
been  a  red  rose-tree,  and  we  put  a  white  one 
in  by  mistake,  and  if  the  Queen  was  to  find  it 
out,  we  should  all  have  our  heads  cut  off,  you 
know.  So  you  see,  Miss,  we're  doing  our  best, 
afore  she  comes,  to — "  At  this  moment  Five, 
who  had  been  anxiously  looking:  across  the  sfar- 
den,  called  out  ''  The  Queen  !  The  Queen  !  "  and 
the  three  gardeners  instantly  threw  themselves 
flat  upon  their  faces,  There  was  a  sound  of 
many  footsteps,  and  Alice  looked  round,  eager  to 
see  the  Queen. 

First  came  ten  soldiers  carrying  clubs ;  these 
were  all  shaped  like  the  three  gardeners,  oblong 
and  flat,  with  their  hands  and  feet  at  the  cor- 
ners :  next   the   ten  courtiers ;  these  were  orna- 


CROQUET-GROUND,  113 

merited  all  over  with  diamonds,  and  walked  two 
and  two,  as  the  soldiers  did.  After  these  came 
the  royal  children ;  there  were  ten  of  them, 
and  the  little  dears  came  jumping  merrily  along 
hand  in  hand,  in  couples:  they  were  all  orna- 
mented with  hearts,  Next  came  the  guests, 
mostly  Kings  and  Queens,  and  among  them 
Alice  recognized  the  White  Rabbit":  it  was  talk- 
ing in  a  hurried  nervous  manner,  smiling  at 
everything  that  was  said,  and  went  by  without 
noticing  her.  Then  followed  the  Knave  of 
Hearts,  carrying  the  King's  crown  on  a  crimson 
velvet  cushion  ;  and,  last  of  all  t*nis  grand  pro- 
cession, came  THE  KING  AND  QUEEN  OF 
HEARTS. 

Alice  was  rather  doubtful  whether  she  ought 
not  to  lie  down  on  her  face  like  the  three 
gardeners,  but  she  could  not  remember  ever 
having  heard  of  such  a  rule  at  processions  ;  "  and 
besides,  what  would  be  the  use  of  a  procession," 
she  thought,  "  if  people  had  all  to  lie  down  on 
their  faces,  so  that  they  couldn't  see  it  ?  "  So  she 
stood  where  she  was,  and  waited. 


114  THE   QUEERS 

When  the  procession  came  opposite  to  Alice, 
they  all  stopped  and  looked  at  her,  and  the 
Queen  said  severely,  "  Who  is  this  ?  "  She  said 
it  to  the  Knave  of  Hearts,  who  only  bowed  and 
smiled  in  reply. 

"  Idiot !  "  said  the  Queen,  tossing  her  head 
impatiently  ;  and,  turning  to  Alice,  she  went  on, 
"  What's  your  name,  child  ?  " 

"  My  name  is  Alice,  so  please  your  Majesty," 
said  Alice  very  politely ;  but  she  added,  to 
herself,  "  Why,  they're  only  a  pack  of  cards, 
after  all.     I  needn't  be  afraid  of  them  !  " 

"And  who  are  these?  "  said  the  Queen,  point- 
ing to  the  three  gardeners  who  were  lying 
round  the  rose-tree  ;  for  you  see,  as  they  were 
lying  on  their  faces,  and  the  pattern  on  their 
backs  was  the  same  as  the  rest  of  the  pack, 
she  could  not  tell  whether  they  were  gardeners, 
or  soldiers,  or  courtiers,  or  three  of  her  own 
children. 

'•  How  should  1  know  ?  "  said  Alice,  surprised 
at  her  own  courage.     "  It's  no  business  of  miner 

The    Queen  turned    crimson  with    fury,  and, 


C  ROQUET-G  ROTJ  N  D . 


115 


after  s^arin^  at  her  for  a  moment  like  a  wild 
beast,  began  screaming,  "  Off  with  her  head  ! 
Off—" 


116  THE  QUEEN'S. 

"  Nonsense !  "  said  Alice,  very  loudly  and  de- 
cidedly, and  the  Queen  was  silent. 

The  king  laid  his  hand  upon  her  arm,  and 
timidly  said,  "  Consider,  my  dear :  she  is  only  a 
child ! " 

The  Queen  turned  angrily  away  from  him,  and 
said  to  the  Knave,  "  Turn  them  over !  " 

The  Knave  did  so,  very  carefully,  with  one 
foot. 

"  Get  up ! "  said  the  Queen  in  a  shrill,  loud 
voice,  and  the  three  gardeners  instantly  jumped 
up,  and  began  bowing  to  the  King,  the  Queen, 
the  royal  children,  and  everybody  else. 

11  Leave  off  that !  "  screamed  the  Queen.  "  You 
make  me  giddy."  And  then,  turning  to  the 
rose-tree,  she  went  on,  "  What  have  you  been 
doing  here  ? " 

"  May  it  please  your  Majesty,"  said  Two,  in  a 
very  humble  tone,  going  down  on  one  knee  as  he 
spoke,  "  we  were  trying — " 

"/see!"  said  the  Queen,  who  had  mean- 
while been  examining  the  roses.  "  Off  with 
their    heads !  "  and    the   procession    moved    on, 


CROQUET-GROUND.  117 

three  of  the  soldiers  remaining  behind  to  execute 
the  unfortunate  gardeners,  who  ran  to  Alice  for 
protection. 

"  You  shan't  be  beheaded  !  "  said  Alice,  and 
she  put  them  into  a  large  flower-pot  that  stood 
near.  The  three  soldiers  wandered  about  for  a 
minute  or  two,  looking  for  them,  and  then  quietly 
marched  off  after  the  others. 

"  Are  their  heads  off  ?  "  shouted  the  Queen. 

"  Their  heads  are  gone,  if  it  please  your 
Majesty!"  the  soldiers  shouted  in  reply. 

"  That's  right !  "  shouted  the  Queen.  "  Can 
you  play  croquet  ?  " 

The  soldiers  were  silent,  and  looked  at  Alice, 
as  the  question  was  evidently  meant  for  her. 

"  Yes  ! "  shouted  Alice. 

"  Come  on  then  !  "  roared  the  Queen,  and 
Alice  joined  the  procession,  wondering  very  much 
what  would  happen  next. 

"  It's — it's  a  very  fine  day ! "  said  a  timid 
voice  at  her  side.  She  was  walking  by  the  White 
Rabbit,  who  was  peeping  anxiously  into  her 
face. 


118         '  THE   QUEEN'S 

"  Very,"  said  Alice  : — "  where's  the  Duchess  ?  " 

"  Hush  !  Hush  !  "  said  the  Rabbit  in  a  low, 
hurried  tone.  He  looked  anxiously  over  his 
shoulder  as  he  spoke,  and  then  raised  himself 
upon  tiptoe,  put  his  mouth  close  to  her  ear,  and 
whispered,  "  She's  under  sentence  of  execution." 

"  What  for  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Did  you  say  « What  a  pity ! '  ?  "  the  Rabbit 
asked. 

"  No,  I  didn't,"  said  Alice :  "  I  don't  think  it's 
at  all  a  pity.     I  said  '  What  for  ? '  " 

"  She  boxed  the  Queen's  ears — "  the  Rabbit 
began.  Alice  gave  a  little  scream  of  laughter. 
"  Oh,  hush  !  "  the  Rabbit  whispered  in  a  frightened 
tone.  "  The  Queen  will  hear  you  !  You  see  she 
came  rather  late,  and  the  Queen  said — " 

"  Get  to  your  places!  "  shouted  the  Queen  in 
a  voice  of  thunder,  and  the  people  began  running 
about  in  all  directions,  umbling  up  against  each 
other :  however,  they  got  settled  down  in  a  min- 
ute or  two,  and  the  game  began. 

Alice  thought  she  had  never  seen  such  a 
curious    croquet-ground   in   her  life  :  it    was    all 


CROQUET-GROUND. 


119 


ridges  and  furrows  ;  the  croquet-balls   were  like 

hedgehogs,  and  the  mallets  live  flamingoes,  and 

the   soldiers    had    to 

double  themselves  up 

and    stand    on    their 

hands    and    feet,    to 

make  the  arches. 

The  chief  diffi- 
culty Alice  found  at 
first  was  in  managing 
her  flamingo :  she 
succeeded  in  getting  Jip|^|S; 
its  body  tucked  away, 
comfortably  enough,  ^ste^fS: 
under  her  arm,  with 
its  legs  hanging  down,  but  generally,  just  as  she 
had  got  its  neck  nicely  straightened  out,  and 
was  going  to  give  the  hedgehog  a  blow  with 
its  head,  it  would  twist  itself  round  and  look 
up  into  her  face,  with  such  a  puzzled  expression 
that  she  could  not  help  bursting  out  laughing : 
and  when  she  had  got  its  head  down,  and  was 
going  to  begin   again,  it  was  very  provoking  to 


120  THE   QUEEN'S 

find  that  the  hedgehog  had  unrolled  itself,  and 
was  in  the  act  of  crawling  away  :  besides  all  this, 
there  was  generally  a  ridge  or  a  furrow  in  the 
way  wherever  she  wanted  to  send  the  hedgehog 
to,  and,  as  the  doubled-up  soldiers  were  always 
getting  up  and  walking  off  to  other  parts  of  the 
ground,  Alice  soon  came  to  the  conclusion  that 
it  was  a  very  difficult  game  indeed. 

The  players  all  played  at  once  without  wait- 
ing for  turns,  quarrelling  all  the  while,  and 
fighting  for  the  hedgehogs  ;  and  in  a  very  short 
time  the  Queen  was  in  a  furious  passion,  and 
went  stamping  about,  and  shouting,  "  Off  with 
his  head  !  "  or  "  Off  with  her  head  !  "  about  once 
in  a  minute. 

Alice  began  to  feel  very  uneasy  :  to  be  sure, 
she  had  not  as  yet  had  any  dispute  with  the 
Queen,  but  she  knew  that  it  might  happen  any 
minute,  "  and  then,"  thought  she,  "  what  would 
become  of  me  ?  They're  dreadfully  fond  of  be- 
heading people  here  :  the  great  wonder  is,  that 
there's  any  one  left  alive  !  " 

She  was  locking  about  for  some  way  of  escape, 


CUOQUET-GItOUND.  121 

and  wondering  whether  she  could  get  away  with- 
out being  seen,  when  she  noticed  a  curious 
appearance  in  the  air  :  it  puzzled  her  very  much 
at  first,  but  after  watching  it  a  minute  or  two 
she  made  it  out  to  be  a  grin,  and  she  said  to  her- 
self, "  It's  the  Cheshire  Cat :  now  I  shall  have 
somebody  to  talk  to." 

"  How  are  you  getting  on  ?  "  said  the  Cat,  as 
soon  as  there  was  mouth  enough  for  it  to  speak 
with. 

Alice  waited  till  the  eyes  appeared,  and  then 
nodded.  "  It's  no  use  speaking  to  it,"  she 
thought,  "  till  its  ears  have  come,  or  at  least 
one  of  them."  In  another  minute  the  whole 
head  appeared,  and  then  Alice  put  down  her 
flamingo,  and  began  an  account  of  the  game, 
feeling  very  glad  she  had  some  one  to  listen  to 
her.  The  Cat  seemed  to  think  that  there  was 
enough  of  it  now  in  sight,  and  no  more  of  it 
appeared. 

"  I  don't  think  they  play  at  all  fairly,"  Alice 
began,  in  rather  a  complaining  tone,  "  and  they 
all  quarrel  so  dreadfully  one  can't  hear  one's-self 


122  THE  QUEEN'S 

speak — and  they  don't  seem  to  have  any  rules 
in  particular ;  at  least,  if  there  are,  nobody  at- 
tends to  them — and  you've  no  idea  how  confus- 
ing it  is  all  the  things  being  alive  ;  for  instance, 
there's  the  arch  I've  o^ot  to  go  through  next  walk- 
ing  about  at  the  other  end  of  the  ground — and  I 
should  have  croqueted  the  Queen's  hedgehog 
just  now,  only  it  ran  away  when  it  saw  mine 
coming !  " 

"  How  do  you  like  the  Queen  ?  "  said  the  Cat 
in  a  low  voice. 

"  Not  at  all,"  said  Alice :  "  she's  so  ex- 
tremely— "  Just  then  she  noticed  that  the 
Queen  was  close  behind  her,  listening :  so  she 
went  on  " — likely  to  win,  that  it's  hardly  worth 
while  finishing  the  game." 

The  Queen  smiled  and  passed  on. 

"  Who  are  you  talking  to  ? "  said  the  King, 
coming  up  to  Alice,  and  looking  at  the  Cat's 
head  with  great  curiosity. 

"  It's  a  friend  of  mine — a  Cheshire  Cat,"  said 
Alice  :  "  allow  me  to  introduce  it." 

"  I  don't  like   the  look   of   it   at  all,"  said   the 


CROQUET   GROUND.  1£3 

King :  "  however,  it  may  kiss  my  hand  if  it 
likes." 

"  I'd  rather  not,"  the  Cat  remarked. 

"Don't  be  impertinent,"  said  the  King,  "and 
don't  look  at  me  like  that !  "  He  got  behind 
Alice  as  he  spoke. 

"A  cat  may  look  at  a  king,"  said  Alice*  "  I've 
read  that  in  some  book,  but  I  don't  remember 
where." 

"  Well,  it  must  be  removed,"  said  the  King 
very  decidedly,  and  he  called  to  the  Queen,  who 
was  passing  at  the  moment,  "  My  dear !  I  wish 
you  would  have  this  cat  removed  !  " 

The  Queen  had  only  one  way  of  settling  all 
difficulties,  great  or  small.  "  Off  with  his  head  !  " 
she  said  without  even  looking  round. 

"  I'll  fetch  the  executioner  myself,"  said  the 
King  eagerly,  and  he  hurried  off. 

Alice  thought  she  might  as  well  go  back  and 
see  how  the  game  was  going  on,  as  she  heard 
the  Queen's  voice  in  the  distance,  screaming 
with  passion.  She  had  already  heard  her  sen- 
tence three  of  the    players    to  be    executed   for 


124  THE  queen's 

having  missed  their  turns,  and  she  did  not  like 
the  look  of  things  at  all,  as  the  game  was  in 
such  confusion  that  she  never  knew  whether  it 
was  her  turn  or  not.  So  she  went  off  in  search 
of  her  hedsrehosf. 

The  hedgehog  was  engaged  in  a  fight  with 
another  hedgehog,  which  seemed  to  Alice  an 
excellent  opportunity  for  croqueting  one  of  them 
with  the  other :  the  only  difficulty  was,  that 
her  flamingo  was  gone  across  to  the  other  side 
of  the  garden,  where  Alice  could  see  it  trying  in 
a  helpless  sort  of  way  to  fly  up  into  a  tree. 

By  .the  time  she  had  caught  the  flamingo  and 
brought  it  back,  the  fight  was  over,  and  both 
the  hedgehogs  were  out  of  sight :  "  but  it  doesn't 
matter  much,"  thought  Alice,  "  as  all  the  arches 
are  gone  from  this  side  of  the  ground."  So  she 
tucked  it  away  under  her  arm,  that  it  might  not 
escape  again,  and  went  back  to  have  a  little 
more  conversation  with  her  friend. 

When  she  got  back  to  the  Cheshire  Cat,  she 
was  surprised  to  find  quite  a  large  crowd  col- 
lected round  it :   there   was   a   dispute  going   on 


CUOQUKT    GROUND. 


125 


between  the  executioner,  the  King,  and  the 
Queen,  who  were  all  talking  at  once,  while  all 
the  rest  were  quite  silent,  and  looked  very 
uncomfortable. 

The    moment    Alice    appeared,    she    was    ap- 
pealed  to   by   all   three   to    settle    the    question, 


126  THE   QUEEN'S" 

and  they  repeated  their  arguments  to  her, 
though,  as  they  all  spoke  at  once,  she  found  it 
very  hard  to  make  out  exactly  what  they  said. 

The  executioner's  argument  was,  that  you 
couldn't  cut  off  a  head  unless  there  was  a  body 
to  cut  it  off  from  :  that  he  had  never  had  to  do 
such  a  thing  before,  and  he  wasn't  going  to 
begin  at  his  time  of  life. 

The  King's  argument  was,  that  anything  that 
had  a  head  could  be  beheaded,  and  that  you 
weren't  to  talk  nonsense. 

The  Queen's  argument  was,  that  if  something 
wasn't  done  about  it  in  less  than  no  time,  she'd 
have  everybody  executed,  all  round.  (It  was  this 
last  remark  that  had  made  the  whole  party  look 
so  grave  and  anxious.) 

Alice  could  think  of  nothing  else  to  say  but 
"  It  belongs   to   the   Duchess :  you'd  better   ask 

her  about  it." 

"  She's  in  prison,"  the  Queen  said  to  the  exe- 
cutioner :  "  fetch  her  here."  And  the  execu- 
tioner went  off  like  an  arrow. 

The  Cat's  head  began   fading  away  the  mo- 


CROQUET   GROUND.  127 

ment  he  was  gone,  and,  by  the  time  he  had  come 
back  with  the  Duchess,  it  had  entirely  disap- 
peared :  so  the  King  and  the  executioner  ran 
wildly  up  and  down  looking  for  it,  while  the 
rest  of  the  party  went  back  to  the  game. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

THE  MOCK  TURTLE'S  STORY. 

"  You  can't  think  how  glad  I  am  to  see  you 
again,  you  dear  old  thing !  "  said  the  Duchess, 
as  she  tucked  her  arm  affectionately  into  Alice's 
and  they  walked  off  together. 

Alice  was  very  glad  to  find  her  in  such  a 
pleasant  temper,  and  thought  to  herself  that 
perhaps  it  was  only  the  pepper  that  had  made 
her  so  savage  when  they  met  in  the  kitchen. 
"  When  Fm  a  Duchess,"  she  said  to  herself,  (not 
m  a  very  hopeful  tone   though,)   "  I  won't  have 


THE   MOCK   TURTLE'S    STORY.  129 

any  pepper  in  my  kitchen  at  all.  Soup  does 
very  well  without — Maybe  it's  always  pepper 
that  makes  people  hot-tempered,"  she  went  on, 
very  much  pleased  at  having  found  out  a  new 
kind  of  rule,  "  and  vinegar  that  makes  them  sour 
— and  camomile  that  makes  them  bitter — and — 
and  barley-sugar  and  such  tilings  that  make  chil- 
dren sweet-tc  .nperecl.  I  only  wish  people  knew 
that:  then  the\  wouldn't  be  so  stingy  about  it, 
you  know — " 

She  had  quite  forgotten  the  Duchess  by  this 
time,  and  was  a  little  startled  when  she  heard 
her  voice  close  to  her  ear.  "You're  thinking 
about  something,  my  dear,  and  that  makes  you 
forget  to  talk.  I  can't  tell  you  just  now  what 
the  moral  of  that  is,  but  I  shall  remember  it  hi  a 
bit." 

"  Perhaps  it  hasn't  one,"  Alice  ventured  to  re- 
mark. 

"  Tut,  tut,  child  !  "  said  the  Duchess.  "  Every- 
thing's got  a  moral,  if  only  you  can  find  it." 
And  she  squeezed  herself  up  closer  to  Alice's 
side  as  she  spoke. 


180 


THE   MOCK   TURTLES    STORY. 


Alice  did  not  much  like  her  keeping  so  close 
to  her:  first,  because  the  Duchess  was  very 
ugly,  and  secondly,  because  she  was  exactly  the 

ri^ht  heio-ht  to 
rest  her  chin  on 
Alice's  shoulder, 
and  it  was  an 
uncomfortably 
sharp  chin.  How- 
ever, she  did  not 
like  to  be  rude,  so 
she  bore  it  as  well 
as  she  could. 

"  The     game's 

iogng   on   rather 

better   now,    sJie 

said    by     way    of 

keeping     up    the 

conversation  a  little. 

'Tis  so,"  said  the  Duchess:  "and  the  moral 
of  that  is—  <  Oh,  'tis  love,  'tis  love,  that  makes 
the  world  go  round  !  '  " 

"  Somebody  said,"  Alice  whispered,  "that   it's 


THE    MOCK   TURTLE'S   STORY.  131 

done    by   everybody    minding    their    own     bus- 
mess  ! 

"  Ah,  well !  It  means  much  the  same  thing," 
said  the  Duchess,  digging  her  sharp  little  chin 
into  Alice's  shoulder  as  she  added,  "  and  the 
moral  of  that  is — '  Take  care  of  the  sense,  and 
the  sounds  will  take  care  of  themselves.' " 

"  How  fond  she  is  of  finding  morals  in  things  ! 
Alice  thought  to  herself. 

"  I  daresay  you're  wondering  why  I  don't  put 
my  arm  round  your  waist,"  said  the  Duchess 
after  a  pause :  "  the  reason  is,  that  I'm  doubtful 
about  the  temper  of  your  flamingo.  Shall  I  try 
the  experiment  ?  " 

"  He  might  bite,"  Alice  cautiously  replied,  not 
feeling  at  all  anxious  to  have  the  experiment 
tried. 

"  Very  true,"  said  the  Duchess  :  flamingoes 
and  mustard  both  bite.  And  the  moral  of  that 
is--—  '  Birds  of  a  feather  flock  together.'  " 

"  Only  mustard  isn't  a  bird."   Alice   remarked. 

';  Right,  as  usual,"  said  the  Duchess :  "  what 
a  clear  way  you  have  of  putting  things!  " 


132  THE  MOCK   TURTLE'S   STORY. 

"  It's  a  mineral,  I  think?  said  Alice. 

"  Of  course  it  is,"  said  the  Duchess,  who 
seemed  ready  to  agree  to  everything  that  Alice 
said ;  "  there's  a  large  mustard-mine  near  here. 
And  the  moral  of  that  is — '  The  more  there  is  of 
mine,  the  less  there  is  of  yours.' " 

"  h,  I  know !  "  exclaimed  Alice,  who  had  not 
attended  to  this  last  remark,  "  it's  a  vegetable.  It 
doesn't  look  like  one,  but  it  is." 

"  I  quite  agree  with  you,"  said  the  Duchess, 
"  and  the  moral  of  that  is — '  Be  what  you  would 
seem  to  be' — 'or  if  you  like  it  put  more 
simply — '  Never  imagine  yourself  not  to  be 
otherwise  than  what  it  might  appear  to  others 
that  what  you  were  or  might  have  been  was 
not  otherwise  than  what  you  had  been  would 
have  appeared  to  them  to  be  otherwise.  " 

"  I  think  I  should  understand  that  better," 
Alice  said  very  politely,  "  if  I  had  it  written 
down:  but  I  can't  quite  follow  it  as  you  say 
it." 

"  That's  nothing  to  what  I  could  say  if  I 
chose,"  the  Duchess  replied  in  a  pleased  tone. 


THE    MUCK    TURTLE'S    STORY.  133 

"  Pray  don't  trouble  yourself  to  say  it  any 
longer  than  that,"  said  Alice. 

Oh,  don't  talk  about  trouble!"  said  the 
Duchess.  "I  make  you  a  present  of  everything 
I've  said  as  yet." 

"  A  cheap  sort  of  present ! "  thought  Alice. 
"  I'm  glad  they  don't  give  birthday  presents 
like  that !  '  But  she  did  not  venture  to  say  it 
out  loud. 

"  Thinking  again  ?  "  the  Duchess  asked,  with 
another  dig  of  her  sharp  little  chin. 

"I've  a  right  to  think,"  said  Alice  sharply,  for 
she  was  beginning  to  feel  a  little  worried. 

"  lust  about  as  much  riq;ht,"  said  the  Duchess, 
"  as  pigs  have  to  ny :  and  the  m — " 

But  here,  to  Alice's  great  surprise,  the 
Duchess'  voice  died  away,  even  in  the  middle 
of  her  favorite  word  '  moral,'  and  the  arm 
that  was  linked  into  hers  began  to  tremble. 
Alice  looked  up,  and  there  stood  the  Queen  in 
front  of  them,  with  her  arms  folded,  frowning 
like  a  thunderstorm. 


134  THE   MOCK    TURTLES   STOIIY. 

"  A  fine  day,  your  Majesty ! ':  the  Duchess 
began  in  a  low,  weak  voice. 

''  Now,  I  give  you  fair  warning,"  shouted  the 
Queen,  stamping  on  the  ground  as  she  spoke ; 
"  either  you  or  your  head  must  be  off,  and  that 
in  about  half  no  time!     Take  your  choice!  " 

The  Duchess  took  her  choice,  and  was  gone 
in  a  moment. 

"  Lets  gro  on  with  the  orame,"  the  Oueen  said 
to  Alice,  and  Alice  was  too  much  .frightened  to 
say  a  word,  but  slowly  followed  her  back  to  the 
croquet-ground 

The  other  guests  had  taken  advantage  of  the 
Queen's  absence,  and  were  resting  in  the  shade  : 
however  the  moment  they  saw  her,  thev  hurried 
back  to  the  game,  the  Queen  merely  remark- 
ing that  a  moment's  delay  would  cost  them  their 
lives. 

All  the  time  they  were  playing  the  Queen 
never  left  off  quarrelling  with  the  other  players, 
and  shouting  'Off  with  his  head!"  or  "Off 
with  her    head  ! ;      Those  whom   she  sentenced 


THE   MOCK   TURTLE'S   STORY.  135 

were  taken  into  custody  by  the  soldiers,  who  of 
course  had  to  leave  off  being  arches  to  do  this, 
so  that  by  the  end  of  half  an  hour  or  so  there 
were  no  arches  left,  and  all  the  players,  except 
the  King,  the  Queen,  and  Alice,  were  in  custody, 
and  under  sentence  of  execution. 

Then  the  Queen  left  off,  quite  out  of  breath, 
and  said  to  Alice,  "  Have  you  seen  the  Mock 
Turtle  yet  ?  " 

"  No,"  said  Alice.  "  I  don't  even  know  what 
a  Mock  Turtle  is." 

"  It's  the  thing  Mock  Turtle  Soup  is  made 
from,"  said  the  Queen. 

"  I  never  saw  one,  or  heard  of  one,"  said  Alice. 

"  Come  on,  then,"  said  the  Queen,  "  and  he 
shall  tell  you  his  history." 

As  they  walked  off  together,  Alice  heard  the 
King  say  in  a  low  voice,  to  the  company  gener- 
ally, "  You  are  all  pardoned-"  "  Come,  that's  a 
good  thing  !  "  she  said  to  herself,  for  she  had 
felt  quite  unhappy  ?.t  the  number  HE  executions 
the  Queen  had  ordered. 


136 


THE   MOCK  TURTLE'S    STORY. 


They  very  soon  came  upon  a  Gryphon,  lying 
fast  asleep  in  the  sun.  (If  you  don't  know  what 
a  Gryphon  is,  look  at  the  picture.)  "  Up,  lazy 
thing!  "said  the  Queen,"  and  take  this  young 
lady  to  see  the  Mock  Turtle,  and  to  hear  his 
history.  I  miut  go  back  and  see  after  some 
executions  I  have  ordered ;  "  and  she  walked  off, 
leaving  Alice  alone  with  the  Gryphon.  Alice 
did  not  quite  like  the  look  of  the  creature,  but 
on  the  whole   she   thought  it  would  be  quite  as 


THE    -MOCK   TURTLE'S    STORY.  137 

safe  to  stay  with  it  as  to  go  after  that  savage 
Queen  :  so  she  waited. 

The  Gryphon  sat  up  and  rubbed  its  eyes : 
then  it  watched  the  Queen  till  she  was  out  of 
sight :  then  it  chuckled.  "  What  fun  !  "  said  the 
Gryphon,  half  to  itself,  half  to  Alice. 

"  What  is  the  fun  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Why,  she"  said  the  Gryphon.  "It's  ah  her 
fancy,  that :  they  never  executes  nobody,  you 
know.     Come  on  !  " 

K  Everybody  says  c  come  on  ! '  here,"  thought 
Alice,  as  she  went  slowly  after  it ;  "I  never  was 
so  ordered  about  before  in  all  my  life,  never! " 

They  had  not  gone  far  before  they  saw  the 
Mock  Turtle  in  the  distance,  sitting  sad  and 
lonely  on  a  little  ledge  of  rock,  and,  as  they 
came  nearer,  Alice  could  hear  him  sighing  as 
if  his  heart  would  break.  She  pitied  him  deeply. 
"  What  is  his  sorrow?"  she  asked  the  Gryphon, 
and  the  Gryphon  answered,  very  nearly  in  the 
same  words  as  before,  "  It's  all  his  fancy,  that: 
he  hasn't  got  no  s orrow,  you  know.     Come  on  !  " 

So   they  went  up   to    the   Mock   Turtle,  who 


138  THE   MOCK   TURTLE'S    STORY. 

looked  at  them  with  large  eyes  full  of  tears,  but 
said  nothing. 

"  This  here  young  lady,"  said  the  Gryphon, 
"  she  wants  for  to  know  your  history,  she  do." 

"  I'll  tell  it  her,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle  in  a 
deep,  hollow  tone :  "  sit  down  both  of  you,  and 
don't  speak  a  word  till  I've  finished." 

So  they  sat  down,  and  nobody  spoke  for  some 
minutes.  Alice  thought  to  herself,  "  I  don't  see 
how  he  can  ever  finish,  if  he  doesn't  begin." 
But  she  waited  patiently. 

"  Once,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle  at  last,  with  a 
deep  sigh,  "  I  was  a  real  Turtle." 

These  words  were  followed  by  a  very  long 
silence,  broken  only  by  an  occasional  exclama- 
tion of  "  Hjckrrh !  "  from  the  Gryphon,  and  the 
constant  heavy  sobbing  of  the  Mock  Turtle. 
Alice  was  very  nearly  getting  up  and  saying, 
"  Thank  you,  sir,  for  your  interesting  story," 
but  she  could  not  help  thinking  there  must  be 
more  to  come,  so  she  sat  still   and   said  nothing. 

"  When  we  were  little,"  the  Mock  Turtle  went 
on  at  last,  more   calmly,    though   still   sobbing  a 


THE    MOCK    TUUTLE'S    r'TOHY. 


139 


little  now  and  then,  "  we  went  to  school  in  the 
sea.  The  master  was  an  old  Turtle— we  used 
to  call  him  Tortoise  — " 


140  THE    MOCK   TURTLE'S    STORY. 

"  Why  did  you  call  him  Tortoise,  if  he  wasn't 
one  ?  "  Alice  asked. 

"  We  called  him  Tortoise  because  he  taught 
us,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle  angrily  ;  "  really  you 
are  very  dull !  " 

"  You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself  for 
asking  such  a  simple  question,"  added  the 
Gryphon ;  and  then  they  both  sat  silent  and 
looked  at  poor  Alice,  who  felt  ready  to  sink 
into  the  earth.  At  last  the  Gryphon  said  to  the 
Mock  Turtle,  "  Drive  on,  old  fellow!  Don't  be 
all  day  about  it ! "  and  he  went  on  in  these  words. 

"  Yes,  we  went  to  school  in  the  sea,  though 
you  mayn't  believe  it — " 

"  I  never  said  I  didn't!"  interrupted  Alice. 

M  You  did,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 

"  Hold  your  tongue !  "  added  the  Gryphon, 
before  Alice  could  speak  again.  The  Mock 
Turtle  went  on. 

"  We  had  the  best  of  educations — in  fact,  we 
went  to  school  every  day — " 

Tve  been    to  a  day-school   too,"  said   Alice ; 
"you  needn't  be  so  proud  as  all  that." 


THE   MOCK  TURTLE'S    STORY.  141 

"  With  extras  ?  "  asked  the  Mock  Turtle  a 
little  anxiously. 

"  Yes,"  said  Alice,  "  we  learned  French  and 
music." 

"  And  washing  ?  "  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 

"  Certainly  not !  "  said  Alice  indignantly. 

"  Ah  !  Then  yours  wasn't  a  really  good  school," 
said  the  Mock  Turtle  in  a  tone  of  great  relief. 
"  Now  at  ours  they  had  at  the  end  of  the  bill, 
'  French,  music,  and  washing — extra.' ' 

"  You  couldn't  have  wanted  it  much,"  said 
Alice ;  "  living  at  the  bottom  of  the  sea." 

"  I  couldn't  afford  to  learn  it,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle  with  a  sigh.  "  I  only  took  the  regular 
course." 

"What  was  that  ?  "  inquired  Alice. 

"  Reeling  and  Writhing,  of  course,  to  begin 
with,"  the  Mock  Turtle  replied  :  "  and  then  the 
different  branches  of  Arithmetic — Ambition,  Dis- 
traction, Uglification,  and  Derision." 

"  I  never  heard  of  '  Uglification.'  "  Alice  ven- 
tured to  say.     "  What  is  it  ? " 

The  Gryphon  lifted  up  both   its  paws   in  sur- 


142  THE   MOCK   TURTLE'S    STORY. 

prise.  "  Never  heard  of  Uglifying  !  "  it  exclaimed. 
"  You  know  what  to  beautify  is,  I  suppose  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  .Alice,  doubtfully  :  "  it  means — 
to — make — anything — prettier." 

"Well  then,"  the  Gryphon  went  on,  "if  you 
don't  know  what  to  uglify  is,  you  arc  a 
simpleton." 

Alice  did  not  feel  encouraged  to  ask  any 
more  questions  about  it,  so  she  turned  to  the 
Mock  Turtle,  and  said,  "  What  else  had  you  to 
learn  ?  " 

"  Well,  there  was  Mystery,"  the  Mock  Turtle 
replied,  counting  off  the  subjects  on  his  flappers,-  - 
"  Mystery,  ancient  and  modern,  with  Seaography  : 
then  Drawling — the  Drawling-master  was  an  old 
conger-eel,  that  used  to  come  once  a  week :  he 
taught  us  Drawling,  Stretching,  and  Fainting  in 
Coils." 

"  What  was  that  like  ?  "  said  Alice. 

"  Well,  I  can't  show  it  you,  myself,"  the  Mock 
Turtle  said  :  "  I'm  too  stiff.  And  the  Gryphon 
never  learnt  it." 

"  Hadn't   time,"  said   the   Gryphon  :   "  I    went 


THE    MOCK   TURTLE'S    STORY.  143 

to  the  Classical  master,  though.  He  was  an  old 
crab,  he  was.'' 

"  I  never  went  to  him,"  the  Mock  Turtle  said 
with  a  sigh  :  "  he  taught  Laughing  and  Grief, 
they  used  to  say." 

'•  So  he  did,  so  he  did,"  said  the  Gryphon, 
sighing  in  his  turn,  and  both  creatures  hid  their 
faces  in  their  paws. 

"  And  now  many  hours  a  day  did  you  do 
lessons?"  said  Alice,  in  a  hurry  to  change  the 
subject. 

"  Ten  hours  the  first  day,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle:  "  nine  the  next,  and  so  on." 

"  What  a  curious  plan  !  "  exclaimed  Alice. 

"  That's  the  reason  they're  called  lessons," 
the  Gryphon  remarked :  "  because  they  lessen 
from  day  to  day." 

Tii is  was  quite  a  new  idea  to  Alice,  and  she 
thought  it  over  a  little  before  she  made  her  next 
remark.  "  Then  the  eleventh  day  must  have 
been  a  holiday  ?  " 

"  Of  course  it  was,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 


144  THE   MOCK   TURTLE'S   STORY. 

"  And  how  did  you  manage  on  the  twelfth?" 
Alice  went  on  eagerly. 

"  That's  enough  about  lessons,"  the  Gryphort 
interrupted  in  a  very  decided  tone :  "  tell  her 
something  about  the  games  now." 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE  LOBSTER    QUADRILLE. 

The  Mock  Turtle  sighed  deeply,  and  drew 
the  back  of  one  flapper  across  his  eyes.  He 
looked  at  Alice  and  tried  to  speak,  but  for  a 
minute  or  two  sobs  choked  his  voice.  "  Same 
as  if  he  had  a  bone  in  his  throat, '  said  the 
Gryphon,  and  it  set  to  work  shaking  him  and 
punching  him  in  the  back.  At  last  the  Mock 
Turtle  recovered  his  voice,  and,  with  tears  run- 
ning down  his  cheeks,  he  went  on  again  : — 

"  You  may  not  have  lived  much  under  the 
sea — "  ("  I  haven't,"  said   Alice) — "  and  perhaps 


146  THE  LOBSTER 

you  were  never  even  introduced  to  a  lobster — " 
(Alice  began  to  say  "  I  once  tasted — "  but 
checked  herself  hastily,  and  said,  "  No,  never  ") — 
"  so  you  can  have  no  idea  what  a  delightful  thing 
a  Lobster-Quadrille  is !  " 

"  No,  indeed,"  said  Alice.  "  What  sort  of  a 
dance  is  it  ?  " 

11  Why,"  said  the  Gryphon,  "  you  first  form 
into  a  line  along  the  seashore — " 

"  Two  lines !  "  cried  the  Mock  Turtle.  "  Seals, 
turtles,  salmon,  and  so  on  :  then,  when  you've 
cleared  all  the  jelly-fish  out  of  the  way — " 

"  That  generally  takes  some  time,"  interrupted 
the  Gryphon. 

"  — you  advance  twice — " 

"  Each  with  a  lobster  as  a  partner ! "  cried  the 
Gryphon. 

"  Of  course,"  the  Mock  Turtle  said:  "  advance 
twice,  set  to  partners — " 

" — change  lobsters,  and  retire  in  same  order," 
continued  the  Gryphon. 

"Then,  you  know,"  the  Mock  Turtle  went  on, 

you  throw  the — " 


QUADRILLE.  147 

The  lobsters !  "  shouted  the  Gryphon,  with  n 
bound  into  the  air. 

" — as  far  out  to  sea  as  you  can — " 

"  Swim  after  them  !  "  screamed  the  Gryphon. 

"  Turn  a  somersault  in  the  sea !  "  cried  the 
Mock  Turtle,  capering  wildly  about. 

"  Change  lobsters  again !  "  yelled  the  Gryphon 
at  the  top  of  its  voice. 

"  Back  to  land  again,  and — that's  all  the  first 
figure,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle,  suddenly  dropping 
his  voice,  and  the  two  creatures,  who  had  been 
jumping  about  like  mad  things  all  this  time,  sat 
down  again  very  sadly  and  quietly,  and  looked 
at  Alice. 

"  It  must  be  a  very  pretty  dance,"  said  Alice 
timidly. 

"  Would  you  like  to  see  a  little  of  it  ?  "  said 
the  Mock  Turtle. 

"  Very  much  indeed,"  said  Alice. 

"  Come,  let's  try  the  first  figure  ! "  said  the 
Mock  Turtle  to  the  Gryphon.  "  We  can  do 
it  without  lobsters,  you  know.  Which  shall 
sing?" 


148 


THE   LOBSTER. 


"  Oh,  you  sing,"  said  the  Gryphon.  "  I've 
forgotten  the  words." 

So  they  began  solemnly  dancing  round  and 
round  Alice,  every  now  and  then  treading  on 
her  toes  when  they  passed  too  close,  and  waving 
their  fore-paws  to  mark  the  time,  while  the 
Mock  Turtle  sang  this,  very  slowly  and  sadly  : — 


QUADRILLE.  149 

"  Will  you  walk  a   little  faster  !  "   said  a  whiting 
to  a  snail, 

li  There  s  a  porpoise  elose  behind  us,  and  lies  tread- 
ing on  my  tail. 

See  how  eagerly   the   lobsters  and  the  turtles  all 
advance  ! 

They  are  waiting   on    the  shingle — will  you  come 
and  join  the  dance  ? 
Will  you,   won't  you,  will  you,  wont  you,  will 

you  join  the  dance  ? 
Will  vou,  worit  you,  will  you,  wont  you,  wont 
you  join  the  dance  ? 


"  You  can  really  have  no  notion  how  delightful  it 

will  be 
When   they   take  us   tip    and  throw  us,  with   the 

lobsters,  out  to  sea  I  " 
But  the  snail  replied  "  Too  far,  too  far  !  "   and 

gave  a  look  askance — 
Said  he  thanked  the  whiting  kindly,  but  he  would 

not  join  the  dance. 
Would  not,   could  not,    would  not,    could   not, 

would  not  join  the  dance. 
Would   not,  could  not,    would  not,   could  not, 

could  not  join  the  dance. 


150  THE  LOBSTER 

"  What  matters  it  lioiu  far  we  go  ?  "   his  seedy 

friend  replied, 
"  There  is  another  shore,  yoti  know,  upon  the  other 

side. 
The  further  off  from  England  the  nearer  is  to 

France;  , 
Then  turn  not  pale,   beloved  snail,  but  conic  and 

join  the  dance. 
Will  you,  won  t you,  will  you,  won  t  you,  will 

you  join  the  dance  ? 
Will  you,  won't  you,  will  you,  won't  you,  zvont 

you  join  the  dance  ?  " 

"  Thank  you,  it's  a  very  interesting  dance  to 
watch,"  said  Alice,  feeling  very  glad  that  it  was 
over  at  last ;  "  and  I  do  so  like  that  curious  song 
about  the  whiting  !  " 

"  Oh,  as  to  the  whiting,"  said  the  Mock 
Turtle,  "  they — you've  seen  them,  of  course  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  Alice,  "  I've  often  seen  them  at 
dinn — "  she  checked  herself  hastily. 

"  I  don't  know  where  Dinn  may  be,"  said  the 
Mock  Turtle,  "  but  if  you've  seen  them  so  often. 
of  course  you  know  what  they're  like." 

"  I    believe    so,"    Alice    replied     thoughtfully. 


QUADRILLE.  151 

"They  have  their  tails  in  their  mouths; — and 
they're  all  over  crumbs." 

"  You're  wrong  about  the  crumbs,"  saia  the 
Mock  Turtle :  "  crumbs  would  all  wash  off  in 
the  sea.  But  they  have  their  tails  in  their 
mouths  ;  and  th  i  reason  is — "  here  the  Mock 
Turtle  yawned  and  shut  his  eyes. — "  Tell  her 
about  the  reason  and  all  that,"  he  said  to  the 
Gryphon. 

"  The  reason  is,"  said  the  Gryphon,  "  that 
they  would  go  with  the  lobsters  to  the  dance. 
So  they  got  thrown  out  to  sea.  So  they  had  to 
fall  a  long  way.  So  they  got  their  tails  fast  in 
their  mouths.  So  they  couldn't  get  them  out 
as;ain.     That's  all." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Alice,  u  it's  very  interest- 
ins;.  I  never  knew  so  much  about  a  whiting 
before." 

"  I  can  tell  you  more  than  that,  if  you  like," 
said  the  Gryphon.  "  Do  you  know  why  it's 
called  a  whiting  ?  " 

"  I  never  thought  about  it,"  said  Alice, 
"Whv?" 


152  THE   LOBSTER 

"  //  does  the  boots  and  shoes,"  the  Gryphon 
replied  very  solemnly. 

Alice  was  thoroughly  puzzled.  "  Does  the 
boots  and  shoes ! "  she  repeated  in  a  wonder- 
in  <r  tone. 

"  Why,  what  are  your  shoes  done  with  ? " 
said  the  Gryphon.  "  I  mean,  what  makes  them 
so  shiny  ?  " 

Alice  looked  down  at  them,  and  considered  a 
little  before  she  gave  her  answer.  "  They're 
done  with  blacking  I  believe." 

"  Boots  and  shoes  under  the  sea,"  the  Gryphon 
went  on  in  a  deep  voice,  "  are  done  with  whiting. 
Now  you  know." 

"  And  what  are  they  made  of?"  Alice  asked 
in  a  tone  of  great  curiosity. 

"  Soles  and   eels,  of  course,"  the   Gryphon  re 
plied    rather    impatiently :     "  any   shrimp    could 
have  told  you  that." 

"  If  I'd  been  the  whiting,"  said  Alice,  whose 
thoughts  were  still  running  on  the  song,  "I'd 
have  said  to  the  porpoise,  'Keep  back,  please; 
we  eh  ,i't  want  you  with  us  'J  " 


QUADRILLE.  153 

They  were  obliged  to  have  him  with  them," 
the  Mock  Turtle  said :  "  no  wise  fish  would  2:0 
anywhere  without  a  porpoise." 

"  Wouldn't  it  really  ?  "  said  Alice  in  a  tone  of 
great  surprise. 

"  Of  course  not,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle : 
"  why,  if  a  fish  came  to  me,  and  told  me  he 
was  going  a  journey,  I  should,  say  '  With  what 
porpoise  ? ' 

"  Don't  you  mean  '  purpose  '  ?  "  said  Alice* 

"  I  mean  what  I  say,"  the  Mock  Turtle  re- 
plied in  an  offended  tone.  And  the  Gryphon 
added  "  Come,  let's  hear  some  of  your  adven- 
tures." 

"  I  could  tell  you  my  adventures — beginning 
from  this  morning,"  said  Alice  a  little  timidly: 
"  but  it's  no  use  going  back  to  yesterday,  because 
I  was  a  different  person  then." 

"  Explain  all  that,"  said  the  Mock  Turtle. 

"  No.  no !  the  adventures  first,"  said  the 
Gryphon  in  an  impatient  tone:  "explanations 
*  take  such  a  dreadful  time." 


154  THE   LOBSTER 

So  Alice  began  telling  them  her  adventures 
from  the  time  when  she  first  saw  the  White 
Rabbit :  she  was  a  little  nervous  about  it  just  at 
first,  the  two  creatures  got  so  close  to  her,  one 
on  each  side,  and  opened  their  eyes  and  mouths 
so  very  wide,  but  she  gained  courage  as  she 
went  on.  Her  listeners  were  perfectly  puiet  till 
she-  got  to  the  part  about  her  repeating  "  You  are 
old,  Father  William"  to  the  Caterpillar,  and  the 
words  all  coming  different,  and  then  the  Mock 
Turtle  drew  a  long  breath,  and  said,  "  That's 
very  curious." 

"  It's  all  about  as  curious  as  it  can  be, "  said 
the  Gryphon. 

"  It  all  came  different ! "  the  Mock  Turtle 
repeated  thoughtfully.  "  I  should  like  to  hear 
her  try  and  repeat  something  now.  Tell  her 
to  begin."  He  looked  at  the  Gryphon  as  if  he 
thought  it  had  some  kind  of  authority  over 
Alice. 

"Stand  up  and  repeat  '' 'Tzs  the  voice  of  the 
sluggard*  "  said  the  Gryphon. 


QUADRILLE. 


155 


"  How  the  creatures 
order  one  about,  and 
make  one  repeat  les- 
sons !"  thought  Alice. 
"  I  might  just  as  well 
be  at  school  at  once." 
However,  she  got  up 
and  began  to  repeat  I 
it,  but  her  head  was 
so  full  of  the  Lob- 
ster-Quadrille, that 
she  hardly  knew 
what  she  was  saying, 
and  the  words  came 
very  queer  indeed : — 


"'Tis  the  voice  of  the  lobster ;  I  heard  him  declare, 
1  You  have  baked  me  too  brown,  I  must  sugar  my 

hair.' 
As  a  duck  with  his  eyelids,  so  he  with  his  nose 
Trims  his  belt  and  his  buttons,  and  turns  out  his 
foes," 


156  THE   LOBSTER 

"  That's  different  from  what  /  used  to  say 
when  I  was  a  child,"  said  the  Gryphon. 

"  Well,  I  never  heard  it  before,"  said  the 
Mock  Turtle ;  "  but  it  sounds  uncommon  non- 
sense." 

Alice  said  nothing: :  she  had  sat  down  ao:ain 
with  her  face  in  her  hands,  wondering  if  any- 
thing would  ever  happen  in  a  natural  way 
again. 

"  I  should  like  to  have  it  explained,"  said  the 
Mock  Turtle. 

"  She  can't  explain  it,"  said  the  Gryphon 
hastily.     "  Go  on  with  the  next  verse." 

"  But  about  his  toes  ?  "  the  Mock  Turtle  per- 
sisted. "  How  could  he  turn  them  out  with  his 
nose,  you  know  ?  " 

"  It's  the  first  position  in  dancing,"  Alice  said ; 
but  she  was  dreadfully  puzzled  by  the  whole 
thing,  and  longed  to  change  the  subject. 

"  Go  on  with  the  next  verse,"  the  Gryphon  re- 
peated impatiently  :  "  it  begins  '  I  passed  by  his 
garden!  " 

Alice  did  not  dare  to  disobey,  though  she  felt 


QUADKILLE.  157 

sure  it  would  all  come  wrong,  and  she  went  on  in 
a  tremblino-  voice  ; — 

"  I  passed  by  his  garden,  and  marked,  with  one  eye, 
How  the  owi  and  the    oyster  were  sharing  the 
pie — 

"  What  is  the  use  of  repeating  all  that  stuff," 
the  Mock  Turtle  interrupted,  "  if  you  don't  ex- 
plain it  as  you  go  on  ?  It's  by  far  the  most  con- 
fusing thino-  /ever  heard  !  " 

"  Yes,  I  think  you'd  better  leave  off,"  said  the 
Gryphon,  and  Alice  was  only  too  glad  to  do 
so. 

"  Shall  we  try  another  figure  of  the  Lobster- 
Quadrille  ?  "  the  Gryphon  went  on.  "  Or  would 
you  like  the  Mock  Turtle  to  sing  you  a  song  ?  " 

"  Oh,  a  song,  please,  if  the  Mock  Turtle  would 
be  so  kind,"  Alice  replied  so  eagerly  that  the 
Gryphon  said,  in  a  rather  offended  tone,  "  Hm  ! 
No  accounting  for  tastes !  Sing  her  '  Turtle 
Soupl  will  you,  old  fellow?  " 

The  Mock  Turtle  sighed  deeply,  and  began,  in 
a  voice  sometimes  choked  with  sobs,  to  sing  this  : 


158  THE    LOBSTER 

"  Beautiful  Soup,  so  rich  and  green, 
Waiting  in  a  Jiot  tureen  ! 
Who  for  such  dainties  would  not  stoop? 
Soup  of  the  evening,  beautifil  Soup  ! 
Soup  of  the  evening,  beautiful  Soup  ! 

Beau — ootiful  Soo — oop  ! 

Bea?c — ootiful  Soo —  oop  / 
Soo — oop  of  the  e — c — evening, 

Beautiful,  beautiful  Soup  ! 

"  Beautiful  Soup  I     Who  cares  for  fish, 
Game,  or  any  other  dish  ? 
Who  would  not  give  all  else  for  two  p 
enuyworth  o?ily  of  beautiful  Soup  ? 
Pennyworth  only  of  beautiful  Soup  ? 

Boo — ootiful  Soo — oop  ! 

Boo — ootiful  Sov — oop  ! 
Soo — oop  of  the  e — e — evening, 

Beautiful,  beauti — FUL  SOUP  P* 

"  Chorus   again  !"  cried  the  Gryphon,  and  the 
Mock  Turtle  had  just  begun  to   repeat  it,  when 


QUADRILLE.  159 

a  cry  of  "  The  trial's  beginning  !  "  was   heard  in 
the  distance. 

"  Come  on  !  "  cried  the  Gryphon,  and,  taking 
Alice  by  the  hand,  it  hurried  on,  without  wait 
inor  for  the  end  of  the  sons:. 

"  What  trial  is  it  ?  "  Alice  panted  as  she  ran,  but 
the  Gryphon  only  answered  "  Come  on  !  "  and 
ran  the  faster,  while  more  and  more  faintly  came, 
carried  on  the  breeze  that  followed  them,  the 
melancholy  words  : — 

Soo — oop  of  the  e — e — evening, 
Beautiful,  beautiful  SouJ> !  " 


CHAPTER  XI. 

WHO    STOLE    THE    TARTS 

The  King-  and  Oueen  of  Hearts  were  seated 
on  their  throne  when  they  arrived,  with  a  great 
crowd  assembled  about  them — all  sorts  of  little 
birds  and  beasts,  as  well  as  the  whole  pack  of 
cards :  the  Knave  was  standing  before  them, 
in  chains,  with  a  soldier  on  each  side  to  guard 
him ;  and  near  the  King  was  the  White  Rabbit, 
with  a  trumpet  in  one  hand,  and  a  scroll  of 
parchment  in  the  other.  In  the  very  middle 
of   the   court   was   a   table,  wth    a  large  dish   of 


WHO   STOLE   THE   TARTS  161 

tarts  upon  it :  they  looked  so  good,  that  it 
made  Alice  quite  hungry  to  look  at  them — "  I 
wish  they'd  get  the  trial  done,"  she  thought, 
"  and  hand  round  the  refreshments  !  "  But  there 
seemed  to  be  no  chance  of  this,  so  she  began 
looking  at  everything  about  her  to  pass  away 
the  time. 

Alice  had  never  been  in  a  court  of  justice 
before,  but  she  had  read  about  them  in  books, 
and  she  was  quite  pleased  to  find  that  she  knew 
the  name  of  nearly  everything  there.  "  That's 
the  judge  !  "  she  said  to  herself,  "  because  of  his 
great  wig." 

The  judge,  by  the  way,  was  the  King,  and  as 
he  wore  his  crown  over  the  wig,  (look  at  the 
frontispiece  if  you  want  to  see  how  he  did  it,)  he 
did  not  look  at  all  comfortable,  and  it  was  cer- 
tainly not  becoming. 

"  And  that's  the  jury-box,"  thought  Alice, 
"  and  those  twelve  creatures,"  (she  was  obliged 
to  say  "creatures,"  you  see,  because  some  of 
them  were  animals,  and  some  were  birds,)  :'  I 
suppose    they    are    the   jurors."       She  said    this 


1(52  WHO   STOLE 

last  word  two  or  three  times  over  to  herself, 
being  rather  proud  of  it:  for  she  thought,  and 
rightly  too,  that  very  few  little  girls  of  her  age 
knew  the  meaning  of  it  at  all.  However,  "jury* 
men  "  would  have  done  just  as  well. 

The    twelve    jurors    were     all     writing   very 
busily    on    slates.      "  What    are     they   doing  ?  ' 
Alice  whispered  to   the   Gryphon.     "  They  can't 
have  anything  to  put  down  yet,  before  the  trial's 
begun." 

"  They're  putting  clown  their  names,"  the 
Gryphon  whispered  in  reply,  "  for  fear  they 
should  forget  them  before  the  end  of  the  trial." 

"  Stupid  things ! "  Alice  began  in  a  loud 
indignant  voice,  but  she  stopped  herself  hastily, 
for  the  White  Rabbit  cried  out,  "  Silence  in  the 
court  !  "  and  the  King  put  on  his  spectacles  and 
looked  anxiously  round,  to  make  out  who  was 
talking. 

Alice  could  see,  as  well  as  if  she  were  look- 
ing over  their  shoulders,  that  all  the  jurors  were 
writing  down   "stupid   things!  "on   their  slates 


THE   TABTS?  163 

and  she  could  even  make  out  that  one  of  them 
didn't  know  how  to  spell  "  stupid,"  and  that  he 
had  to  ask  his  neighbor  to  tell  him.  "  A  nice 
muddle  their  slates  '11  be  in  before  the  trial's 
over!  "  thought  Alice. 

One  of  the  jurors  had  a  pencil  that  squeaked. 
This,  of  course,  Alice  could  not  stand,  and  she 
went  round  the  court  and  got  behind  him,  and 
very  soon  found  an  opportunity  of  taking  it 
away.  She  did  it  so  quickly  that  the  poor 
little  juror  (it  was  Bill,  the  Lizard)  could  not 
make  out  at  all  what  had  become  of  it ;  so, 
after  hunting  all  about  for  it,  he  was  obliged  to 
write  with  one  finger  for  the  rest  of  the  day ; 
and  this  was  of  very  little  use,  as  it  left  no  mark 
on  the  slate. 

"  Herald,  read  the  accusation ! "  said  the 
King. 

On  this  the  White  Rabbit  blew  three  blasts 
on  the  trumpet,  and  then  unrolled  the  parch- 
ment scroll,  and  read  as  follows  ; — 


164 


"WHO   STOLE 


"  The  Queen  of  hearts,  she  made  some  tarts. 
All  on  a  summer  day : 
The  Knave  of  Hearts,  he  stole  those  tarts, 
And  took  them  quite  away  !  " 


"  Consider   your   verdict,"    the    King   said    to 
the  jury. 


THE   TARTS.  165 

"  Not  yet,  not  yet !  "  the  Rabbit  hastily  in- 
terrupted. "  There's  a  great  deal  to  come  before 
that !  " 

"Call  the  first  witness,"  said  the  King;  and 
the  White  Rabbit  blew  three  blasts  on  the 
trumpet,  and  called  out,  "  First  witness  !  " 

The  first  witness  was  the  Hatter.  He  came 
in  with  a  teacup  in  one  hand,  and  a  piece  of 
bread-and-butter  in  the  other.  "  I  beg  pardon, 
your  Majesty,"  he  began,  "for  bringing  these  in  : 
but  I  hadn't  quite  finished  my  tea  when  I  was 
sent  for." 

"  You  ousrht  to  have  finished,"  said  the  Kins:. 
"  When  did  you  begin  ?  " 

The  Hatter  looked  at  the  March  Hare,  who 
had  followed  him  into  the  court,  arm-in-arm 
with  the  Dormouse.  "  Fourteenth  of  March,  I 
think  it  was,"  he  said. 

"  Fifteenth,"  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  Sixteenth,"  added  the  Dormouse. 

"  Write  that  down,"  the  King  said  to  the 
jury,  and  the  jury  eagerly  wrote  down  all  three 
dates    on    their    slates,   and    then    nvdded    them 


166  WHO    STOLE 

up,  and  reduced  the  answer  to  shillings  and 
pence. 

"  Take  off  your  hat,"  the  King  said  to  the 
Hatter. 

"  It  isn't  mine,"  said  the  Hatter. 

"  Stolen  !  "  the  King  exclaimed,  turning  to 
the  jury,  who  instantly  made  a  memorandum  of 
the  fact. 

"  I  keep  them  to  sell,"  the  Hatter  added  as 
an  explanation :  "  I've  none  of  my  own.  I'm  a 
hatter." 

Here  the  Queen  put  on  her  spectacles,  and 
began  staring  hard  at  the  Hatter,  who  turned 
pale  and  fidgeted. 

"  Give  your  evidence,"  said  the  King ;  ''  and 
don't  be  nervous,  or  I'll  have  you  executed  on 
the  spot." 

This  did  not  seem  to  encourage  the  witness 
at  all :  he  kept  shifting  from  one  foot  to  the 
other,  looking  uneasily  at  the  Queen,  and  in 
his  confusion  he  bit  a  large  piece  out  of  his 
teacup  instead  of  the  bread-and-butter. 

Just  at  this  moment  Alice   felt  a  very  curious 


THE  TARTS.  1C7 

sensation,  which  puzzled  her  a  good  deal  until 
she  made  out  what  it  was  :  she  was  beginning 
to  grow  larger  again,  and  she  thought  at  first 
she  would  get  up  and  leave  the  court ;  but  on 
second  thoughts  she  decided  to  remain  where 
she  was  as  long  as  there  was  room  for  her. 

"  I  wish  you  wouldn't  squeeze  so,"  said  the 
Dormouse,  who  was  sitting  next  to  her.  "  I  can 
hardly  breathe." 

'*  I  can't  help  it,"  said  Alice  very  meekly: 
"  I'm  growing." 

"  You've  no  right  to  grow  here"  said  the  Dor- 
mouse. 

"  Don't  talk  nonsense,"  said  Alice  more  boldly  : 
'  you  know  you're  growing  too." 

"  Yes,  but  /  grow  at  a  reasonable  pace,"  said 
the  Dormouse  :  "  not  in  that  ridiculous  fashion." 
And  he  got  up  very  sulkily  and  crossed  over  to 
the  other  side  of  the  court. 

All  this  time  the  Queen  had  never  left  off 
staring  at  the  Hatter,  and,  just  as  the  Dormouse 
crossed  the  court,  she  said  to  one  of  the  officers 
of  the  court,  "  Bring  me  the  list  of  the  singers  in 


168 


WHO   STOLE 


the  last  concert 


on  which  the  wretched  Hatter 
trembled  so,  that  he 
shook  both  his  shoes 
off. 

"  Give      your      evi- 
dence,"  the    Kino:    re- 
peated     angrily,     "  or 
I'll  have  you  executed, 
j|f   whether  you're  nervous 


I'm  a  poor  man, 
your  Majesty,"  the 
Hatter  began  in  a 
trembling  voice,  "and 
I  hadn't  but  just  begun  my  tea — not  above 
a  week  or  so — and  what  with  the  bread-and- 
butter  getting  so  thin — and  the  twinkling  of  the 
tea •-" 


"  The  twinkling  of  what?  "  said  the  King. 
"  It  began  with  the  tea,"  the  Hatter  replied.   • 
"  Of  course  twinkling  begins  with  a  T  !  "  said 

the     King   sharply.     "  Do    you    take    me  for    a 

dunce  ?    Go  on  !  " 


THE   TARTS.  169 

"  I'm  a  poor  man,"  the  Hatter  went  on,  "  and 
most  things  twinkled  after  that — only  the  March 
Hare  said " 

•'  I  didn't !  "  the  March  Hare  interrupted  in  a 
great  hurry. 

"  You  did  !  "  said  the  Hatter. 

"  I  deny  it !  "  said  the  March  Hare. 

"  He  denies  it,"  said  the  King:  "  leave  out  that 
part." 

"  Well,  at  any  rate,  the  Dormouse  said — "  the 
Hatter  went  on,  looking  anxiously  round  to  see 
if  he  would  deny  it  too :  but  the  Dormouse 
denied  nothing,  being  fast  asleep. 

"  After  that,"  continued  the  Hatter,  "  I  cut 
some  more  bread-and-butter " 

"  But  what  did  the  Dormouse  say  ? "  one  of 
the  jury  asked. 

"  That  I  can't  remember,"  said  the  Hatter. 

"  You  must  remember,"  remarked  the  King, 
or  I'll  have  you  executed." 

"  The  miserable  Hatter  dropped  his  teacup  and 
bread-and-butter,  and  went  down   on  one  knee. 

"  I'm  a  poor  man,  your  Majesty,"  he  began. 


170  WHO   STOLE 

•  "  You're  a  very  poor  speaker"  said  the  King. 

Here  one  of  the  guinea-pigs  cheered,  and  was 
immediately  suppressed  by  the  officers  of  the 
court.  (As  that  is  rather  a  hard  word,  I  will 
just  explain  to  you  how  it  was  done.  They  had 
a  large  canvass  bag,  which  tied  up  at  the  mouth 
with  strings :  into  this  they  slipped  the  guinea- 
pig,  head  first,  and  then  sat  upon  it.) 

"  I'm  glad  I've  seen  that  done,"  thought 
Alice.  "  I've  so  often  read  in  the  newspapers, 
at  the  end  of  trials,  'There  was  some  attempt 
at  applause,  which  was  immediately  suppressed 
by  the  officers  of  the  court,'  and  I  never  under- 
stood what  it  meant  till  now." 

"  If  .that's  all  you  know  about  it,  you  may 
stand  down,"  continued  the  King. 

"  I  can't  go  no  lower,"  said  the  Hatter  :  "  I'm 
on  the  floor,  as  it  is." 

"  Then  you  may  sit  down,"  the  King  replied. 

Here  the  other  guinea-pig  cheered,  and  was 
suppressed. 

"  Come,  that  finishes  the  guinea-pigs ! "  thought 
Alice.     "  Now  we  shall  <ret  on  better." 


THE   TAitTS. 


171 


"  I'd    rather  finish   my   tea,"   said   the  Hatter, 
with    an   anxious   look  at  the   Queen,  who  was 


reading  the  list  of  singers. 


"  You  may  go,"  said  the  King,  and  the  Hatter 
hurriedly  left  the  court,  without  even  waiting  to 
put  his  shoes  on. 

" and  just  take  his  head   off  outside,"   the 

Queen  added  to  one  of  the  officers  ;  but  the 
Hatter  was  out  of  sight  before  the  officer  could 
get  to  the  door. 

"  Call  the  next  witness  !  "  said  the  King. 

The  next  witness  was  the  Duchess'  cook.  She 
carried  the  pepper-box  in  her  hand :  and  Alice 


172  WHO   STOLE 

guessed  who  it  was,  even  before  she  got  into  the 
court,  by  the  way  the  people  near  the  door  began 
sneezing  all  at  once. 

"  Give  your  evidence,"  said  the  King. 

"  Shan't,"  said  the  cook. 

The  King  looked  anxiously  at  the  White 
Rabbit,  who  said  in  a  low  voice,  "  Your  Majesty 
must  cross-examine  this  witness." 

"  Well,  if  I  must,  I  must,"  the  King  said  with 
a  melancholy  air,  and,  after  folding  his  arms  and 
frowning  at  the  cook  till  his  eyes  were  nearly 
out  of  sight,  he  said  in  a  deep  voice,  "  What  are 
tarts  made  of  ?  " 

"  Pepper,  mostly,"  said  the  cook. 

"  Treacle,"  said  a  sleepy  voice  behind  her. 

"  Collar  that  Dormouse  !  "  the  Queen  shrieked 
out.  "  Behead  that  Dormouse !  Turn  that  Dor- 
mouse out  of  court !  Suppress  him  !  Pinch  him  ! 
Off  with  his  whiskers !  " 

For  some  minutes  the  whole  court  was  in 
confusion,  getting  the  Dormouse  turned  out,  and, 
by  the  time  they  had  settled  down  again,  the 
cook  had  disappeared. 


THE   TARTS.  Yl'6 

"  Never  mind  !  "  said  the  King,  with  an  air 
of  great  relief.  "  Call  the  next  witness."  And  he 
added  in  an  undertone  to  the  Queen,  "  Really, 
my  dear,  you  must  cross-examine  the  next  wit- 
ness.    It  quite  makes  my  forehead  ache  !  " 

Alice  watched  the  White  Rabbit  as  he  fumbled 
over  the  list,  feeling  very  curious  to  see  what  the 
next  witness  would  be  like,  " — for  they  haven "t 
got  much  evidence  yet"  she  said  to  herself. 
Imagine  her  surprise,  when  the  White  Rabbit 
read  out,  at  the  top  of  his  shrill  little  voice,  the 
name  "  Alice ! " 


CHAPTER  XII. 


ALICE'S  EVIDENCE. 


"  Here  !  "  cried  Alice,  quite  forgetting  in  the 
flurry  of  the  moment  how  large  she  had  grown 
in  the  last  few  minutes,  and  she  jumped  up  in 
such  a  hurry  that  she  tipped  over  the  jury-box 
with  the  edge  of  her  skirt,  upsetting  all  the  jury- 
men on  to  the  heads  of  the  crowd  below,  and 
there  they  lay  sprawling  about,  reminding  her 
very  much  of  a  globe  of  gold-fish  she  had  acci- 
dentally upset  the  week  before. 

"  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon  !  "   she  exclaimed  in  a 


ALICE'S   EVIDENCE. 


175 


tone  of  great  dismay,  and  began  picking  them 
up  again  as  quickly  as  she  could,  for  the  acci- 
dent of  the  gold-fish  kept   running  in   her  head, 


170  ALICES   EVIDENCE. 

and  she  had  a  vague  sort  of  idea  that  they  must 
be  collected  at  once  and  put  back  into  the  jury- 
box,  or  they  would  die. 

u  The  trial  cannot  proceed,"  said  the  King  in 
a  very  grave  voice,  '*  until  all  the  jurymen  are 
back  in  their  proper  places — all"  he  repeated 
with  great  emphasis,  looking  hard  at  Alice  as  he 
said  so. 

Alice  looked  at  the  jury-box,  and  saw  that, 
in  her  haste,  she  had  put  the  Lizard  in  head 
downwards,  and  the  poor  little  thing  was  waving 
its  tail  about  in  a  melancholy  way,  being  quite 
unable  to  move.  She  soon  got  it  out  again,  and 
put  it  right ;  "  not  that  it  signifies  much,"  she 
said  to  herself;  "  I  should  think  it  would  be 
quite  as  much  use  in  the  trial  one  way  up  as  the 
other." 

As  soon  as  the  jury  had  a  little  recovered 
from  the  shock  of  being  upset,  and  their  slates 
and  pencils  had  been  found  and  handed  back  to 
them,  they  set  to  work  very  diligently  to  write 
put  a  history  of  the  accident,  all  except  the 
Lizard,   who   seemed  too  much  overcome  to  do 


ALTCE  S    EVIDENCE.  1    " 

anything  hut  sit  with  its  mouth  open,  gazing  up 
into  the  roof  of  the  court. 

':  What  do  you  know  about  this  busines  ?  " 
the  Kins:  said  to  Alice. 

"  Nothing,"  said  Alice. 

"  Nothing  whatever ?"  persisted  the  King. 

"  Nothing  whatever,"  said  Alice. 

"  That's  very  important,"  the  King  said,  turn- 
ing to  the  jury.  They  were  just  beginning  to 
write  this  down  on  their  slates,  when  the  White 
Rabbit  interrupted  :  "  ^important,  your  Majesty 
means,  of  course,"  he  said  in  a  very  respectful 
tone,  but  frowning  and  making  faces  at  him  as 
he  spoke. 

"  ^important,  of  course,  I  meant,"  the  King 
hastily  said,  and  went  on  to  himself  in  an  under- 
tone, "  important — unimportant — unimportant — 

important "  as  if  he  were  trying  which  word 

sounded  best. 

Some  of  the  jury  wrote  it  down  "  important," 
and  some  "  unimportant."  Alice  could  see  this, 
as   she    was     near    enough     to    look    over    their 


1(8  ALICE'S  EVIDENCE. 

slates;  "  but  it  doesn't  matter  a  bit,"  she  thought 
to  herself. 

At  this  moment  the  King,  who  had  been  for 
some  time  busily  writing  in  his  note-book,  called 
out  "  Silence ! "  and  read  out  from  his  book, 
"  Rule  Forty-two.  All  persons  7nore  than  a  mile 
high  to  leave  the  court? 

Every  body  looked  at  Alice. 

"I'm  not  a  mile  high,"  said  Alice. 

"  You  are,"  said  the  King. 

"  Nearly  two  miles  high,"  added  the  Queen. 

"  Well)  I  shan't  go,  at  any  rate,"  said  Alice; 
"  besides,  that's  not  a  regular  rule :  you  invented 
it  just  now." 

"  It's  the  oldest  rule  in  the  book,"  said  the 
King. 

"  Then  it  ought  to  be  Number  One,"  said  Alice. 

The  King  turned  pale,  and  shut  his  note-book 
hastily.  "  Consider  your  verdict,"  he  said  to  the 
jury,  in  a  low  trembling  voice. 

"  There's  more  evidence  to  come  yet,  please 
your  Majesty,"  said  the  White   Rabbit,  jumping 


ALICE'S    EVIDENCE.  I T 1* 

up  in  a  great  hurry;  "  this  paper  has  just  been 
picked  up." 

"  What's  in  it  ?  "  said  the  Queen. 

"  I  haven't  opened  it  yet,"  said  the  White 
Rabbit,  "  but  it  seems  to  be  a  letter,  written  by 
the  prisoner  to — to  somebody." 

"  It  must  have  been  that,"  said  the  King, 
"  unless  it  was  written  to  nobody,  which  isn't 
usual,  you  know." 

"  Who  is  it  directed  to?  "  said  one  of  the  jury- 
men. 

"  It  isn't  directed  at  all,"  said  the  White 
Rabbit;  "  in  fact,  there's  nothing  written  on-  the 
outside'.'  He  unfolded  the  paper  as  he  spoke, 
and  added,  "  It  isn't  a  letter  after  all :  it's  a  set  of 
verses." 

"  Are  they  in  the  prisoner's  handwriting  ?  " 
asked  another  of  the  jurymen. 

"  No,  they're  not,"  said  the  White  Rabbit, 
"  and  that's  the  queerest  thing  about  it."  (The 
jury  all  looked  puzzled.) 

"  He    must   have     imitated    somebody     else's 


180  ALICES    EVIDENCE. 

hand,"  said  the  King.     (The  jury   all  brightened 
up  again.) 

"  Please  your  Majesty,"  said  the  Knave, 
"  I  didn't  write  it,  and  they  can't  prove  I  did: 
there's  no  name  signed  at  the  end." 

"  If  you  didn't  sign  it,"  said  the  King,  "  that 
only  makes  the  matter  worse.  You  must  have 
meant  some  mischief,  or  else  you'd  have  signed 
your  name  like  an  honest  man." 

There  was  a  general  clapping  of  hands  at 
this :  it  was  the  first  really  clever  thing  the  King 
had  said  that  day. 

"  That  proves  his  guilt,"  said  the  Queen. 

"  It  proves  nothing  of  the  sort !  "  said  Alice. 
"  Why,  you  don't  even  know  what  they're 
about ! 

"  Read  them,"  said  the  King. 

The  White  Rabbit  put  on  his  spectacles. 
"  Where  shall  I  begin,  please  your  Majesty?"  he 
asked. 

"  Begin  at  the  beginning,"  the  King  said, 
gravely,  "  and  go  on  till  you  come  to  the  end  : 
then  stop." 


Alice's  evidence.  181 

These  were  the  verses  the  White  Rabbit  read : — 

"  They  told  me  you  had  ban  to  her,  . 

And  mentioned  me  to  him  : 
She  gave  me  a  food  character, 

But  said  I  could  not  swim. 

He  sent  them  word  I  had  not  gone 

( We  know  it  to  be  true)  : 
If  she  should  push  the  matter  on, 

IV hat  would  become  of  you  ? 

I  mve  her  one,  they  cave  him  two, 
You  cave  us  three  or  more  ; 

o 

They  all  returned  from  him  to  you, 
Though  the"  were  mine  before. 

If  I  or  she  should  chance  to  be 

Involved  in  this  affair, 
He  trusts  to  you  to  set  themfreey 

Exactly  as  we  were. 


182  Alice's  evidence. 

My  notion  was  that  you  had  been 
{Before  she  had  this  Jit) 

An  obstacle  that  came  between 
Him,  and  ourselves,  and  it. 


Doitt  let  him  know  she  liked  them  best 

For  this  must  ever  be 
A  secret,  kept  from  all  the  rest, 

Between  yourself  andme.,y 


"  That's  the  most  important  piece  of  evidence 
we've  heard  yet,"  said  the  King,  rubbing  his 
hands  ;    "  so  now  let  the  jury " 

"  If  any  one  of  them  can  explain  it,"  said 
Alice,  (she  had  grown  so  large  in  the  last  few 
minutes  that  she  wasn't  a  bit  afraid  of  interrupt- 
ing him,;  "  I'll  give  him  sixpence.  /  don't 
believe  there's  an  atom  of  meaning  in  it." 

The  jury  all  wrote  down  on  their  slates,  "She 
doesn't  believe   there's  an  atom  of  meaning  in 


ALICE'S   EVIDENCE.  183 

it,"  but  none  of  them  attempted  to  explain  the 
paper. 

"  If  there's  no  meaning  in  it,"  said  the  King, 
"  That  saves  a  world  of  trouble,  you  know,  as 
we  needn't  try  to  find  any.  And  yet  I  don't 
know,"  he  went  on,  spreading  out  the  verses 
on  his  knee,  and  looking  at  them  with  one 
eye  ;  "  I  seem  to  see  some  meaning  in  them, 
after  all.  ' — said  I  could  net  swim — '  you  can't 
swim,  can  you  ? "  he  added,  turning  to  the 
Knave. 

The  Knave  shook  his  head  sadly.  "  Do  I 
look  like  it  ?  "  he  said.  (Which  he  certainly  did 
not,  being  made  entirely  of  cardboard.) 

"  All  right,  so  far,"  said  the  King,  and  he 
went  on  muttering  over  the  verses  to  himself : 
"  '  We  know  it  to  be  true- — '  that's  the  jury,  of 
course —  '  I  gave  her  one,  they  gave  him  tzvo — ' 
why,  that  must  be  what  he  did  with  the  tarts, 
you  know — " 

"  But  it  goes  on  '  they  all  returned  from  him 
to  you ,'  "  said  Alice. 


184 


ALICE  S   EVIDENCE. 


"Why,  there  they 
are ! "  said  the  King 
triumphantly,  point- 
ing to  the  tarts  on  the 
table.  "  Nothing  can 
be  clearer  than  that. 
Then  again —  '  before 
she  had  this  fit — '  you 
never  had  fits,  my 
dear,  I  think?  "  he 
said  to  the  Queen. 

"  Never !  "  said  the 
Queen    furiously, 


throwing  an  inkstand  at  the  Lizard  as  she  spoke. 
(The  unfortunate  little  Bill  had  left  off  writing 
on  his  slate  with  one   finger,  as  \\z  found  it  made 


Alice's  evidence.  185 

no  mark  ;  but  he  now  hastily  began  again,  using 
the  ink,  that  was  trickling  down  his  face,  as  long 
as  it  lasted.) 

"  Then  the  words  don'tyf/  you,"  said  the 
King,  looking  round  the  court  with  a  smile. 
There  was  a  dead  silence. 

"  It's  a  pun  !  "  the  King  added  in  an  angry 
tone,  and  everybody  laughed.  "  Let  the  jury 
consider  their  verdict,"  the  King  said,  for  about 
the  twentieth  time  that  day. 

"  No,  no !  "  said  the  Queen.  "  Sentence  first 
— verdict  afterwards." 

"  Stuff  and  nonsense ! "  said  Alice  loudly. 
"  The  idea  of  having  the  sentence  first !  " 

"  Hold  your  tongue  !  "  said  the  Queen,  turn- 
ing purple. 

"  I  won't !  "  said  Alice. 

"  Off  with  her  head !  "  the  Queen  shouted  at 
the  top  of  her  voice.     Nobody  moved. 

"  Who  cares  for  you  ? "  said  Alice,  (she  had 
grown  to  her  full  size  by  this  time.)  "You're 
nothing  but  a  pack  of  cards ! " 


186 


Alice's  evidencp:. 


At  this  the   whole  pack  rose  up  into   the  air, 
and   came    flying  down   upon    her;  she  ffave  a 


Alice's  evidence.  187 

little  scream,  half  of  fright  and  half  of  anger, 
and  tried  to  beat  them  off,  and  found  herself 
lying  on  the  bank,  with  her  head  i*n  the  lap  of 
her  sister,  who  was  gently  brushing  away  some 
dead  leaves  that  had  fluttered  down  from  the 
trees  on  to  her  face. 

"  Wake  up,  Alice  dear  !  "  said,  her  sister  ; 
"  why,  what  a  long  sleep  you've  had  !  " 

"Oh,  I've  had  such  a  curious  dream  !  "  said 
Alice,  and  she  told  her  sister,  as  well  as  she 
could  remember  them,  all  these  strange  Ad- 
ventures of  hers  that  you  have  just  been  reading 
about ;  and  when  she  had  finished,  her  sister 
kissed  her,  and  said,  "  It  was  a  curious  dream, 
dear,  certainly :  but  now  run  in  to  your  tea ;  it's 
getting  late."  So  Alice  got  up  and  ran  off, 
thinking  while  she  ran,  as  well  she  might,  what 
a  wonderful  dream  it  had  been, 


188 


But  her  sister  sat  still  just  as  she  left  her, 
leaning  her  head  on  her  hand,  watching  the 
setting  sun,  and  thinking  of  little  Alice  and  all 
her  wonderful  Adventures,  till  she  too  began 
dreaming  after  a  fashion,  and  this  was  her 
dream  :  — 

First,  she  dreamed  of  little  Alice  herself : — 
once  again  the  tiny  hands  were  clasped  upon 
her  knee,  and  the  bright  eager  eyes  were  looking 
up  into  hers — she  could  hear  the  very  tones  of 
her  voice,  and  see  that  queer  little  toss  of  her 
head,  to  keep  back  the  wandering  hair  that 
would  always  get  into  hen-eyes — and  still  as  she 
listened,  or  seemed  to  listen,  the  whole  .  place 
around  her  became  alive  with  the  strange  crea- 
tures of  her  little  sister's  dream. 

The  long:  grass  rustled  at  her  feet  as  the 
White  Rabbit  hurried  by — the  frightened  Mouse 
splashed  his  way  through  the  neighboring  pool 


189 

— she  could  hear  the  rattle  of  the  teacups  as 
the  March  Hare  and  his  friends  shared  their 
never-ending  meal,  and  the  shrill  voice  of  the 
Oueen  ordering  off  her  unfortunate  quests  to 
execution — once  more  the  pig-baby  was  sneezing 
on  the  Duchess'  knee,  while  plates  and  dishes 
crashed  around  it — once  more  the  shriek  of  the 
Gryphon,  the  squeaking  of  the  Lizard's  slate- 
pencil,  and  the  choking  of  the  suppressed  guinea- 
pigs,  filled  the  air,  mixed  up  with  the  distant  sob 
of  the  miserable  Mock  Turtle. 

So  she  sat  on,  with  closed  eyes,  and  half 
believed  herself  in  Wonderland,  though  she 
knew  she  had  but  to  open  them  again  and  all 
would  change  to  dull  reality — the  grass  would 
be  only  rustling  in  the  wind,  and  the  pool  rip- 
pling to  the  waving  of  the  reeds — the  rattling 
teacups  would  change  to  tinkling  sheep-bells, 
and  the  Queen's  shrill  cries  to  the  voice  of  the 
shepherd  boy — and  the  sneeze  of  the  baby,  the 
shriek  of  the  Gryphon,  and  all  the  other  queer 
noises,  would  change  (she  knew)  to  the  con- 
fused clamor  of  the  busy  farm-yard — while   the 


190 

lowing  of  the  cattle  in   the  distance  would   take 
the  place  cf  the  Mock  Turtle's  heavy  sobs. 

Lastly,  she  pictured  to  herself  how  this  same 
little  sister  of  hers  would,  in  the  after-time,  be 
herself  a  grown  woman ;  and  how  she  would 
keep,  through  all  her  riper  years,  the  simple  and 
loving  heart  of  her  childhood  :  and  how  she 
would  gather  about  her  other  little  children,  and 
make  their  eyes  bright  and  eager  with  many  a 
strange  tale,  perhaps  even  with  the  dream  of 
Wonderland  of  lono:-a2:o :  and  how  she  would 
feel  with  all  their  simple  sorrows,  and  find  a 
pleasure  in  all  their  simple  joys,  remembering 
her  own  child-life,  and  the  happy  summer  days. 


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WORTHINGTON    COMPANY,   747   Broadway,   New   York. 


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